Chrysalis
by vicioux
Summary: A butterfly can hide in a chrysalis for months in order to avoid harsh conditions. Jyuushiro Ukitake can't help but think that, after almost a century of hiding in plain sight, it's time for Nemu Kurotsuchi to emerge from her protective shell.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Hello, my name is vicioux. It's been three days since I last put up a disclaimer saying I don't own Bleach.**

**I guess this puts me past the denial stage…**

**Listening to: Tori Amos – 'Raining Blood'. The Slayer original is awesome (even Kerry King says so!), but this one has an extra special place in my heart and is infinitely creepier, so it's in.**

Chapter One

She wasn't supposed to be able to dream.

At least, she was fairly sure her father would never have bothered to give her that ability and, given that she was a created soul rather than a naturally occurring one, she hardly expected to have such a _human_ trait.

And yet…

_The sky was the deep grey-purple of a bruise, faint flickers of lightening sparking in the distance. Shivering, she walked forward. She knew where she was now. She'd seen this place so many nights in her dreams, but it had haunted her just as much during her waking hours._

_Hueco Mundo – the world of the malevolent dead. _

_She knew this in every fibre of her being, not matter how few landmarks were present in the featureless desert to guide her. She knew this just as she knew the reason for the way the sand felt under her bare feet, unusually wet and sticky. And she knew, just like she did every night when she dreamed this, that she would look down before she could stop herself and be faced with the horror once more._

_Slowly, unwillingly, her gaze trailed to where she stood and she fought to keep down the bile rising in her throat._

_The vast sands were soaked in blood. The world ran red, puddles forming in depressions and rivers streaming down channels in the ground. She was no stranger to blood; that wasn't what had her shaking where she stood. _

_It was the bodies._

_Everywhere she looked were the black-clad forms of her fellow shinigami, each of them lying broken and bleeding, their hands clutching their zanpakuto in a manner that she could only find bitterly pointless. Hundreds of faces, some she didn't know and others – well, those were the worst._

_Rangiku Matsumoto was at her feet, her throat torn out and her pink scarf soaked with gore. She shivered, staring at the woman who had been one of the first people to be kind to her, and immediately looked away, only to be greeted with the sight of Nanao Ise's battered corpse. A sob escaped her lips as she took in the sight of her mentor lying there in the pool of blood that served for ground, one of the dead woman's hands stretched out toward the body of her captain and fiancée, Shunsui Kyouraku. His wide, dead eyes were fixed on the woman he loved, but there was no more expression in that typically animated gaze. _

_The sobbing came thick and fast as she backed away from her dead friends, only to bump into more solid, dead flesh. Or so she thought. A feeble gasp came from whoever was at her feet and, once more, she looked down against her will._

_There on the sand was Captain Jyuushiro Ukitake, the blood soaked into his white hair and spilling from his mouth. With a faint groan, hazel eyes flickered open, hazily glancing about until they fixed on her, and his mouth worked as he tried to speak. He was, however, interrupted._

"_Well, if it isn't my failed experiment. What a surprise. I'd call it a pleasant one, but that would obviously be a lie."_

_Shaking, she looked up into the black and white painted face leering at her. "Mayuri-sama. You're supposed to be dead."_

_He threw his head back and laughed. "I should know better than to expect more from you. Still, at least this way your idiocy can amuse me anew each time."_

"_You're supposed to be dead", she reasserted. "He - " She wheeled around to find the pale captain at her feet reaching for his blood-drenched sword. _

_Mayuri Kurotsuchi's sneer widened. "Ah yes, the noble captain. Jyuushiro Ukitake killed me. Well, as much of me as he could." Walking toward his prey, the ex-captain kicked the sword away from his grasp, drawing his own in the process. "But you, useless creature, _are_ me. I put my own spirit into you and gave you life. Everything you are, every last little thing, is a part of me. You cannot escape it."_

_Her mouth dry, she forced the words out. "I'm not you. I'm not a traitor or a murderer or - "_

"_Oh please", he broke in. "Who do you think is responsible for all this?" Planting a foot on Jyuushiro's chest as he struggled to sit up, Mayuri forced him back down; his amber eyes cold and his zanpakuto tip directly above the other man's heart. _

"_No", she whispered, her hands going up to stop him. "I won't - "_

_She stared at the hands she had stretched out in front of her, the palms soaked in the same blood as her comrades. Drawing in an unsteady breath, she gasped out between tears, "I – No, I didn't. I wouldn't."_

"_We are one and the same", the man who had been her captain and father remarked casually, giving her a derisive glance. "Though that hardly casts a flattering reflection on me, you might as well just accept that." He raised his weapon, ready to strike, and in that brief reprieve the hazel eyes of his victim, clouded with pain, found her own._

_The blow fell – _

And Nemu Kurotsuchi woke up screaming.

xXx

It had begun the night they announced that the war wasn't over.

There was a certain symmetry, almost a little logic to that, but it was little comfort, Nemu thought as she slipped into her kitchen to splash water on her face, leaning against the sink. All she really knew was that every night her sleep was interrupted by the same nightmare and, while slumber wasn't always a necessity for her, it was hardly a state of affairs that she was comfortable with. She wasn't sure which was worse, seeing the bodies of people she cared about or having to face her father and the facts he put forward to her, but both parts of the dream were haunting her and she tired of it.

It wasn't as though she hadn't tried to find a cure. She'd given up sleeping for as long as she was able, she'd taken pills dispensed by a concerned Captain Retsu Unohana, and she'd even let her own captain try his hand at helping her. She had figured that the one person who could outwit her father in her conscious world could also do the same in her unconscious, but even Kisuke Urahara had nothing more to offer her than a recommendation that she analyse her dream and attempt to decipher its meaning.

That was painfully obvious, and not at all helpful. Her father had been a constant and often cruel presence in her life, at least, until he'd betrayed the Gotei Thirteen and had been killed in battle. His assertion that they were one and the same was based in fact. She _was _a part of him – it _was_ a part of his own soul that had given her life and it would make sense that they shared certain traits. Nemu may have chosen not to follow him, but even she could not explain why she had made that decision. This knowledge, while useful, was hardly likely to stop the nightmares.

Nemu had considered the people who appeared in her dream. They varied from night to night. Sometimes it was her best friend, Momo Hinamori who lay dead, sometimes Yachiru and her behemoth adopted father whose corpses she had to take in. Once she'd almost tripped over Nel and her partner, Ulquiorra, and had actually given in to the urge to expel the contents of her stomach. There was always blood, though, and always one body who followed her in the dreams. Her father's killer, the man who had announced Mayuri Kurotsuchi's betrayal to the Soul Society, was always present and under her father's sword, and that was the part of the dream she didn't understand.

Why was Jyuushiro Ukitake, of all people, a constant presence in her nightmare?

It was the question she had kept coming back to, and it remained just as unanswered as when she had first posed it. Nemu could easily understand her father's preoccupation with him, but her own? Did she harbour any ill will toward the captain for what he had done? She had searched her feelings repeatedly, but she knew the answer was no. She may have felt lost and disconnected at the death of her father, but never grieved. He had not been a man to inspire affection. She had followed him out of fear, not love, and his death had left her something she had never been before – free. No, she certainly didn't hold her father's death against anyone, let alone Captain Ukitake. Indeed, he was one of the few people who treated her like a normal soul. Most of the Gotei Thirteen were wary around her, the daughter of a madman and traitor, though she could hardly blame them. He had always been kind to her, without that edge of pity that accompanied the kindness of so many others, especially when he'd brought the news of her father's defection. He had even argued for her right to take to the battle with everyone else, though he'd been overruled and she had been stationed with healers. The rest of her colleagues hadn't trusted her, and she couldn't help but agree with them.

She still didn't know if she trusted herself.

Still, Nemu was not her father, not a traitor. She had even more to fight for this time around – the friends she had found, like Momo, Yachiru, Nel, Nanao and Rangiku, her captain, Kisuke Urahara, who had shown her that, with her father and creator gone, she actually enjoyed her job, and his lover, Lady Yoruichi Shihoun, who was always in and out of the office and happy to talk about her deranged noble cousins to keep Nemu entertained. There were more reasons than she could ever have dreamed of to fight for the Soul Society, so why these dreams appeared now had her at a loss.

_Perhaps it is just the threat of war that unsettles me so. Mayuri-sama is dead and gone – he can't hurt me anymore. These dreams are nothing but the product of old fears, and I should give them the attention they deserve – none. _

Peering through the kitchen window, she could see the first signs of dawn on the horizon, and sighed.

_I may as well get ready for work. I did promise Lady Yoruichi to get in early and make sure that my captain didn't singe his eyebrows off again with any early morning experiments._

A faint smile on her face, Nemu prepared for the epic task of keeping Captain Kisuke Urahara out of trouble for the day, pushing all thoughts of her father, the coming war and Jyuushiro Ukitake out of her head.

xXx

**A start – I have made one. Let me know what y'all think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Mr Kubo's lawyers see me ownin', they hatin'.**

**Ergo, I don't own Bleach. And I'm not writin' dirty (Do you think Chamillionaire ever realises how much mockery gets thrown his way because of that song? I can't help wondering…)**

**Listening to: Bat for Lashes – 'Daniel'.**

Chapter Two

The problem, Captain Jyuushiro Ukitake couldn't help but think, was that there was a very distinct difference between looking at someone and _seeing_ them.

Drowning out the sounds of his lieutenant attempting to bar his best friend from entering the office, the white-haired captain sighed, shook his head, and returned to staring at his paperwork until it resembled something that made sense. The noise from outside the door rose by several decibels, throwing him back to his original train of thought once more.

_I give Shunsui five minutes. Kiyone hasn't had a good yell since Sentaro was made lieutenant of the Ninth – she won't let this opportunity slide._

_But where was I… Ah, yes._

_The difference between looking at someone and seeing them. _

It was one thing to look at someone – it happened all the time. You spotted them during meetings, training sessions, missions or just in the course of your daily duties. Looking at someone didn't give you the least bit of insight into who they were, it was just the simple registering of another's presence without much (if any) additional thought. _Seeing_ was a whole different kettle of fish. It only took one moment of crisis, external or internal, the witnessing of one reaction, and suddenly a part of another person was exposed. One moment, in which you watched them fight not to break at the news you had imparted, one moment to watch them draw on strength that not even they were aware of, and suddenly you _couldn't_ just look at them anymore. The simplest glance across the hall to where they were standing would suddenly bring back dark green eyes that welled with mingled sorrow and relief, but not tears, or clenched hands and blunt nails digging into palms, or a soft, defiant voice, or –

Jyuushiro exhaled slowly, bringing one long-fingered hand up to press against his temple.

_And so my train of thought has lead me back to Nemu Kurotsuchi._

_Again._

Jyuushiro Ukitake was used to seeing people clearly – living for almost two millennia gave one a fairly good handle on human nature. Certainly, he had thought he was past the age where anything could surprise him in that regard, though Sousuke Aizen had done a lot to rattle that confidence. Yet, he had never been left so completely flummoxed (to the point of standing there and gaping in disbelief), as he had been the day he announced Mayuri Kurotsuchi's defection to the captains and lieutenants of the Gotei Thirteen.

The memory of that day, almost three years ago now, still haunted him. It had been a heartbreaking task, telling his fellow officers that the string of betrayals that still troubled them all was not yet over, but it was far worse watching everyone as they turned to Nemu, her father's shy, obedient shadow, and waited for her to react. It hadn't escaped his notice that the vast majority of hands rested on zanpakuto – they expected her to try and join her creator or even give battle herself. He remembered thinking about how ridiculous that show of strength was, when her father wouldn't even let her carry her own zanpakuto, and then realising that everyone in that room was poised to attack, and no one to comfort. That knowledge had saddened him, even as he felt his own hand go to his weapon instinctively.

That was when he really saw her.

Her deep, fathomless green eyes were wide in her usually expressionless face, her whole body trembling as she clenched her hands to try and quell the shaking. She looked exactly like a frightened animal, her lips parted as she rapidly drew in breath. And then she turned to look at him.

He'd been right about the fear in her eyes, but that was only the tip of the iceberg. A myriad of emotions raged there, some easily identifiable and others escaping him entirely. There was grief there, and rage, but something else lurking behind it all, something that Jyuushiro had not expected.

Hope.

It was enough for him to let go of Sogyo No Kotowari and simply stand there, staring right back. He had no idea how long that stalemate had lasted for, before Nemu had finally spoken up in that soft, yet clipped and precise, voice of hers, her eyes now rebellious and daring.

"If you meet Mayuri-sama in battle, be sure to destroy his head. That's the only way to finish him."

Everything had shifted with that short speech and the recognition that her choice had been made. Nemu had suddenly been surrounded by several protective members of the SWA, and was quietly lead out of the room. The remaining officers all seemed to breath a collective sigh of relief, but Jyuushiro was left standing in the centre of the hall, still gaping, and wondering how he'd missed that coming.

Or, more to the point, how he'd managed to miss her.

Much to his chagrin, this state of affairs had not altered in the last three years. To be fair, two of them had been consumed by war, leaving him little time to think and still less to socialise, but the last few months had been restful, contemplative and just as unproductive. He was still no closer to understanding her decision to stay and fight for them, anymore than he was to understanding her. All he knew was that he couldn't stop seeing her everywhere, or stop noticing countless inconsequential details, like the way she would tense when touched, and then relax so slowly and carefully that you began to doubt if you'd seen her flinch at all. The action was clearly that of a woman who was used to both being struck and concealing her fear, and made him want to kill Mayuri Kurotsuchi all over again, abandoning all thought of a merciful end for his opponent, but it didn't really tell him anything but a possible reason for her refusal to follow her father. It still didn't account for why she had remained loyal to the Soul Society, where most of the inhabitants treated her with a faint (and, occasionally, less so) contempt that could hardly have been less hurtful.

In short, Nemu Kurotsuchi presented him with a mystery, and he was determined to sort through his impressions and solve it.

Unfortunately, that was infinitely easier said than done. The woman herself usually kept out of sight as much as she could, and Jyuushiro was typically distracted by his own duties and –

"Jyuu-kun! I brought sake!"

Kiyone had clearly decided that she was fighting a losing battle and had finally admitted his visitor. Giving up the paperwork as a bad job, Jyuushiro looked up to see his permanently tipsy best friend in the doorway, hat precariously perched on his head and an armload of bottles, and sighed with resignation.

"Colour me unsurprised", the pale captain muttered with a faint smile. "Hello Shunsui. Might I recommend that you sit down before you fall down?"

With a snort, Captain Shunsui Kyouraku deftly manoeuvred through the room, not spilling a drop from the open bottle in his hand and keeping the delicately balanced hat on his head. Tipsy, he might have been, but many shinigami firmly believed that this was when the captain was at his peak. Certainly, Jyuushiro thought wryly, it was the state in which most people were used to dealing with him, with the exception of a few select friends. And speaking of which –

"Has Nanao kicked you out of the office again?" Shunsui's lieutenant _was_ also his fiancée, but Nanao Ise was not a woman to cross when there was a paperwork backlog to be dealt with. Sadly, at the Eighth, there was always a paperwork backlog to deal with. Shunsui avoided the stuff like the plague and, while Jyuushiro could sympathise with his distaste, he also firmly believed that, best friend or not, his fellow captain needed to at least attempt to do some.

Across the table, Shunsui shook his head, grinning. "Nope. I was very helpful in the office. So helpful, in fact, that we were all able to leave early. My dear Nanao-chan looked somewhat shell-shocked when I explained that to her, but she seemed to have recovered by the time Rangiku showed up to drag her off to a spa to relax."

Raising an eyebrow, Jyuushiro replied thoughtfully, "You know, Shun, you may have just condemned yourself to eternal paperwork duty, seeing as you're so efficient."

The horrified look he'd expected to see in response to that news wasn't in evidence. On the contrary – he best friend looked alarmingly smug.

"I don't think so, Jyuu. Nanao hates being purposeless, she needs something to do. Even when she has time off to relax, she ends up bored and almost stir crazy." Shunsui frowned. "It's unnatural really, and more than a little scary to watch. Anyway, you should have seen her face when she realised that it was practically going to be half-days for her from now on…" Trailing off, he grinned. "Somehow, I don't think she'll be wanting my help too often."

Chuckling, Jyuushiro opened one of the offered bottles of sake, pouring himself a small glass. "You're diabolical, Shun."

"And you're proud to call me friend?"

Rolling his eyes, Jyuushiro murmured, "Yes, something like that, I'm sure. Anyway, I hope Kiyone wasn't too rude to you."

Waving a hand, his companion replied airily, "Oh no, it was the usual. I'm an irresponsible friend, a disgraceful example as captain and the worst possible company for an invalid."

Jyuushiro groaned. "I appreciate how protective she is, I truly do, and I don't know what we'd do without her, but I am not an invalid. As for you, we've been friends for over a millennia and I've managed to survive. That isn't about to change now."

"Or if it does change, it won't be because of me", Shunsui pointed out darkly, before continuing at Jyuushiro's questioning gaze. "There's been some movement, of sorts. The Tenth sent out a scouting party of newbies to check on the Hueco Mundo situation last week. We still haven't found the bodies."

"Kami", Jyuushiro replied with a shudder. "Who authorized that madness? The two captains and two lieutenants we sent in initially barely made it out alive – hell, I think Nel's still recovering. What made them think that unseated officers could handle it?"

"They were supposed to be in an area with next to no activity, and it's entirely possible that, comparatively, that was the case. I just doubt that any part of Hueco Mundo is bare now – they're massing for war."

He was back to massaging his temple. "Just as we are, though in fewer numbers. We need allies, Shun - "

"Yama-jii knows", the other man murmured. "He's sending Captain Kurosaki to the Vaizard. Though whether they'll decide that a full pardon is enough to inspire them to come back and fight for us is another thing entirely."

"They should have been given that pardon the second Aizen revealed himself", Jyuushiro growled. "They were the victims of a horrific crime, not the perpetrators."

"I daresay Yama-jii knows that, too", Shunsui pointed out. "But the noble houses and the new Central 46 are at his heels, looking for any admission of failure. They blame the last few years on him, you know. They think he should've seen through Sousuke sooner."

"No one saw through that bastard", Jyuushiro muttered. "Except, of course, for the people who ended up exiled." He sighed, leaning back in his chair. "In hindsight, it seems obvious, but we're talking about a man who had the ambition to set himself up as a god and the tactical abilities to plan and manoeuvre over centuries. How could anyone have guessed that was coming? Even Retsu only suspected at the end, and she was the one who'd inspected his fake body." Abruptly, he drained his glass, shaking his head as he set the empty vessel back down. "This is too depressing to talk about, Shun, especially for such a lovely day."

His friend quirked an eyebrow. "New topic?"

"New topic", he nodded in confirmation, pouring out more sake for the both of them and sitting back to think. "How'd you actually manage to get past Kiyone in the end?"

"Oh, I just asked her how Sentaro was and wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. She was too busy sputtering with outrage after that to do anything much."

Chuckling, Jyuushiro raised his glass. "And once more – you are diabolical. I salute you."

"Cheers."

The two men sat in companionable silence once again, until –

"I did actually come over for a reason, now that I think about it."

"Not my sparkling wit and good company?" Jyuushiro asked wryly.

"Not even your dashing good looks", Shunsui replied with a snicker.

"You could pretend not to be sarcastic", he grumbled in reply. "Fine, what do you want?"

"The reason's not necessarily a favour, Jyuu", Shunsui pointed out.

Jyuushiro raised one dark eyebrow. "But in your case…"

"It might be", his companion admitted.

"Well, spit it out, Shun. Provided it isn't illegal or immoral, which usually narrows things down for you, I'm happy to help."

"I want you to be my best man, Jyuu", Shunsui said with a grin. "I convinced Nanao to set a date."

Grinning back, his friend replied, "That's brilliant, Shun! And about damn time, if I may say so."

"Given that you've been listening to me wax lyrical about her for a few decades now, I think you're certainly allowed to say so. Is that a yes?"

"That's an 'of course'", Jyuushiro laughed. "So, what's the plan?"

"Just a simple ceremony, quiet. I have no desire whatsoever to go through a noble wedding", he added, with an eloquent shudder. "Close friends only, seeing as neither of us have immediate family, though dates are allowed." With a grin, he raised an eyebrow. "Got a girl you want to bring, Jyuu? Or a guy - whatever makes you happy is fine with me."

Glaring back at him, his friend muttered, "I thought we went over this back when everyone decided _we_ were together. I'm not gay. I like women, I just haven't found the right one yet."

_I really wish I could say the end of that sentence without feeling maudlin._

"Jyuu", Shunsui began, in what he imagined was a delicate manner, "you've been alive almost two millennia. Surely - "

"Coughing up blood kills the mood, Shun", Jyuushiro sighed, before smiling wryly. "Maybe I'm just an eternal bachelor."

"With the way you stare longingly at everyone in a twosome? I don't think so."

Jyuushiro winced. "I was really hoping no one had picked up on that. Look Shun, you're the one who has a way with the girls in this friendship. I'm just not - "

"Bullshit. You're intelligent, witty, a gentleman and a captain, and fairly attractive at that. If they can't see past your illness to that, then they aren't worth it", Shunsui finished with a firm nod. "You're a thinking woman's Shunsui Kyouraku, who wouldn't be interested?"

"A thinking woman's… Kami, help us all."

"Hmmpf. Just for that, I'm drinking the rest of the bottle."

"Any excuse. Look, I appreciate your impassioned defence of my attributes", Jyuushiro smiled, "though it may have been a little too impassioned. I might have to have a word with Nanao."

"Maybe not witty, then", Shunsui frowned, mock thoughtfulness taking over his features briefly, before he shook his head and pouted. "Surely someone's caught your eye, Jyuu. Even just a little. Tell your good friend Shunsui!"

"You are irrepressible."

"Thank you. Now, give me a name."

"That's not necessarily a good thing", Jyuushiro muttered.

"Don't care. So, guessing it is then, since you won't tell." Shunsui looked thoughtful, "What about Retsu?"

"She's like a sister to me!"

"Well, if that's what you're into, Jyuu, I won't judge – "

"No."

"Fine then. Kiyone?"

Jyuushiro's pained expression said it all.

"Fair enough, it would be a little wearing. Alright then – Rukia?"

"A lovely young woman, but not my type", Jyuushiro said firmly. "Besides, if Byakuya didn't kill me, Ichigo would."

"Ah, true", Shunsui conceded. "Isane?"

"Kiyone's sister? Thank you, but no."

"Soi Fon?"

"She's taken, and no."

"Momo Hinamori?"

"Far too young."

"And if she weren't?"

"Still a no, Shun."

"Nemu Kurotsuchi?"

The name made Jyuushiro start, and that, unfortunately, was enough of a reaction for Shunsui.

"Ah ha! So Nemu-san, eh?"

"What? Oh Kami." Jyuushiro cursed himself for giving Shunsui the proverbial inch. "No, Shun, not that this will probably get listened to, it's not like that at all."

"Alright, Jyuu", his friend returned, eyebrows ready to wiggle suggestively, "what is it like? And don't tell me it's nothing – I've seen you watching her."

_Why did I end up with an observant best friend? I could have befriended that idiot ancestor of Omaeda's at the academy – I bet this would have never happened with him. But no, I had to make friends with an intellectual equal. Stupid, stupid me. _

"It's not an attraction", Jyuushiro began, before adding, "Not that she isn't attractive."

She was, now that he thought about it. She certainly wasn't the most eye-catching beauty of the Gotei Thirteen, but she held her own with her long legs and hourglass figure. Her pitch-black hair had grown longer since the war, and it suited her, with bangs that occasionally hid her dark green eyes. Eyes that were surprisingly expressive, if he recalled rightly…

Too late, he realised that his pause was just adding fuel to Shunsui's fire.

"Attractive, yes, but not my type", he added hurriedly.

One eyebrow lifted. "You have a type? Ah yes, I think I remember from our academy days. Dark haired, curvy (but not ridiculously so), and intelligent. You were a leg man, too, if I recall correctly. So, where exactly does Nemu-san diverge from this profile?"

_She… doesn't. Oh. But that's not the point, dammit!_

"I also like them able to express themselves", Jyuushiro pointed out.

"And she's certainly gotten better at that since her father left", Shunsui replied with a grin. "No wonder you've suddenly taken an interest."

"Well, that's all it is – an interest", Jyuushiro said firmly. "No attraction, Shun. I'll admit, I'm curious. She presents me with somewhat of a mystery – I still don't understand why she stayed to fight with us. Given the current climate, I want to know more."

"Ah", Shunsui nodded. "A fairly understandable reaction."

"Yes", Jyuushiro muttered, "so why are you still staring at me like that?"

Waving a hand carelessly, his best friend grinned, "Like what, Jyuu?"

"Like you're still right."

Grin firmly in place, Shunsui rose from his seat. "No idea what you're talking about. I should probably get back to Nanao, though, so I bid you adieu."

"Not so fast", Jyuushiro growled, taking in the too-innocent expression on the other man's face.

_That look _never_ bodes well for me._

"This conversation stays in this room – don't you dare tell anyone, Shun."

"And by 'anyone', you mean…"

"The standard definition", Jyuushiro said dryly. "Up to and including the members of the SWA, Yumichika after he's had a few drinks and all persons affiliated with the Twelfth."

"Very well", Shunsui replied, sounding no less worrisome as he sailed out the door. "Must dash, see you soon Jyuu-kun!"

A further though occurred to Jyuushiro, just in time for him to yell it at the retreating pink-clad back. "And none of your damn matchmaking attempts or, so help me Kami, I will tell Nanao the location of each and every sake stash in the office!"

Settling back into his chair, Jyuushiro hoped that the shudder that last threat had evoked meant that he was in the clear.

xXx

**And so we have us a little back-story. **

**Remember kiddies – reviews = love. As The Captain and Tennille say, love will keep us together… Then again, Joy Division say love will tear us apart. **

**To hell with it, just review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I don't sparkle either, and nor should you**.

**I'm a bit sick of seeing 14 year olds with those 'I kissed a vampire and I liked it' shirts, so I've been hanging out to get one made that says 'I kissed a vampire and it was actually rather mediocre'. ****And is it just me, or are Edward/Bella possibly one of the most disturbing couples out there? Seriously, it has all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship. Positive influence for teenage girls, my ass. **

…**Ok, mini-rant over now.**

**Listening to: Clare Bowditch and the Feeding Set - 'Little Self Centred Queen'.**

Chapter Three

It was a truth universally acknowledged that a Nanao-chan surrounded by 'the girls' during a night in, must be in want of the manly balancing effect of her captain and fiancée.

At least, that was what Shunsui Kyouraku, the aforementioned captain and fiancée, wanted to believe.

The reality, on the other hand –

"Out!"

"But my lovely Nanao-chan - "

"No", growled the petite, dark-haired woman, her hand going threateningly to her glasses. Anyone in the Seireitei with a sense of self-preservation (ie. Anyone but Kenpachi Zaraki and, perhaps, Grimmjow Jeagerjacques) knew better than to goad the lieutenant of the Eighth into removing her eyewear, so this gesture did leave its recipient retreating to a safer point behind the doorframe. "Shunsui, this may be an unofficial gathering of the SWA due to the budget cuts, but it is still a meeting to us. And what does the SWA stand for?"

Resignedly, Shunsui replied from his position at the door, "Shinigami Women's Association. But - "

"Are you a woman, Shunsui?" Nanao asked, with the exasperated air of someone who had been forced to endure this scene many times before.

He blinked back at her, considering. "If I say yes, will it make this conversation any easier?"

Her eyes narrowed, but there was a faint smile on her face as she pulled a fan from her sleeve. He laughed.

"Point taken. Cruel Nanao-chan, are you really going to remove me from my quarters and throw me out on the street?"

She sighed, shaking her head. "Just keep out of the room and the adjacent hall. I can't stop you from eavesdropping, but can you at least be discreet?"

Beaming at her, he nodded. "Of course. Discretion is my middle name! No word of what occurs tonight will ever pass through these lips!"

An expression crossed Nanao's face that clearly indicated that she believed no such thing and, indeed, probably considered it the grossest falsehood. Chagrined, Shunsui hurriedly amended his previous statement to, "Well, I'll try to forget everything I hear, at any rate. No telling what some of the girls will do to me. Soi Fon in particular…" He shuddered, and then reconsidered. "Of course, if it's something really juicy - "

He broke off, catching sight of the face of his beloved and the glare she had fixed in his direction, and then continued, "Never fear, Nanao-chan. I'll take it all to the grave. Oh, I know! I'll make those little curry puffs you like. I'm sure the girls will love them."

Nanao took in the crafty smile on his face and sighed. "You're determined to be a part of this meeting tonight in any capacity available, aren't you?"

The smile became both wider and craftier as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, before trotting off eagerly in the general direction of the kitchen.

Giving up on the battle to contain her laughter, Nanao chuckled to herself. "What are you up to now? A new and disturbing project involving some unsuspecting members of the Gotei 13, perhaps?"

He poked his head back out into the hall, a picture of shining innocence. "Nothing, my dear. I just want this meeting to go well tonight, that's all. Say, are all the usual suspects coming?"

A smile playing on her lips, she replied, "I would imagine so. Shunsui, if you're planning another of your ill-fated matches - "

"Not at all, Nanao-chan. I told Jyuu so yesterday. So all the lieutenants, too?"

"Yes, I daresay. Jyuushiro, hmmm?" Her eyes narrowed. "Look, if you're thinking of setting up Jyuushiro with someone - "

"Oh no, not at all."

Nanao was wearing her 'I'm not fooled' face. Again. Given that this was now the sixth time that expression had appeared today, Shunsui decided it might be an idea to clarify things.

"Well, I'm in the preliminary stages, as it were. No actually 'setting up' motions anytime soon. I am surveying the terrain", he announced proudly, leaving Nanao shaking her head.

"Nothing will dissuade you from your course at this point, will it?"

He smiled sweetly. "It's touching to see how well my Nanao-chan knows me."

"I'm sure", she replied dryly. "Very well, you can listen in, since I know of no way to stop you, but keep your mouth shut, I'm begging you. And no dispensing of advice! The Fourth have enough casualties on their hands these days without your help."

"Nanao, when have I ever given anyone advice detrimental to their health?"

She fixed him with a look of disbelief. "You told Momo not to give up on her pursuit of her captain, because eventually he'd realise what a gem she was."

He winced. "Ok, so that one didn't work out, but to be fair - "

"You attempted to set up Captains Zaraki and Soi Fon - "

"It looked like a good idea on paper! They both like fighting - "

"And they proceeded to tear the Seireitei apart before they came after you! I'm not even going to go into that incident with Kurotsuchi and the puppy!"

"I thought it'd be good to improve his parenting abilities", Shunsui muttered. "How was I to know the poor thing would never be seen again?"

"Actually", broke in a soft, yet clipped and precise voice, "he ordered me to dispose of it. I suspect Mayuri-sama meant for good, but I elected to reinterpret the instruction and I re-homed it in the Eleventh. Unfortunately, my father did make some alterations to the creatures spirit before releasing it to my care, so it is a little unusual, but it is a healthy specimen nonetheless."

"Huh", Shunsui muttered thoughtfully. "So that's where Ikkaku got that giant mutt. Explains a lot. I swear I saw that thing ingest someone's stray kido once and spit it back out." Turning to the newcomer, he beamed. "Hello there, Nemu-san."

She nodded in greeting, stepping forth into the hall almost apologetically. "The door was open - "

"Come on in", Nanao said warmly. "Everyone else should be along shortly and we can get started. Shunsui was just removing himself from the listening radius, wasn't he?"

Nemu followed the older woman into the lounge with the distinct feeling that Nanao's order was not even vaguely being followed, and shook her head at the older woman's query about whether she was sleeping any better.

Nanao frowned. "It really isn't healthy. Is Captain Urahara sure he's exhausted all the options?"

Nemu shrugged. "He and Captain Unohana have both given me a complete physical and checked Mayuri-sa – I mean, my father's notes for any clues. They could not find anything and, typically, when _they_ can't find anything that does tend to mean there is nothing to be found."

"Have you tried sake? It's always worked for me!"

Nanao glared in the direction of the kitchen, shaking her head. "Ignore him. Tell me how your training with Momo is going."

Within a half hour the entire SWA was gathered in Nanao's living room and staring morosely and silently at their feet. Nemu had observed this to be a common occurrence during the last couple of months, and one that had spread further than just this organisation. Indeed, she'd often found herself slipping into that same despondency. She supposed that it was one thing to be at war – the inhabitants of the Seireitei were used to that. It was, however, another thing entirely to be fighting a war that you had spent an almost blissful year thinking you had won.

_Perhaps that is my problem. In the euphoria of our victory, I assumed that it was all over – endless battle, being confined to working with the Fourth, Mayuri-sama and his hold over me. _

_I should have anticipated that it would not be so simple. _

Nanao knew it was time to try and break the silence when even Nemu's usually stoic expression started to sadden. With a sigh, she stood up. Instantly, everyone's gaze went to her as she began.

"This is ridiculous. I know that things look bad right now but I believe we've faced worse odds than these before, and we're all still here, aren't we?"

"Worse odds?" Momo looked incredulous. "We're outnumbered _four to one_, Nanao! Somehow, I don't think this is an overreaction."

"That's not entirely true", Nel broke in, frowning as she plucked at the sleeve of her haori. "We're outnumbered, yes, but not outgunned, as they call it. The new Espada are weaker – any lieutenant could take the lower ranked ones. They haven't got a Fourth _and_ we've already removed the Ninth and Sixth from the picture. That has to count for something - "

"And we've got Captain Kurosaki", Kiyone broke in.

"He's only one soul", Rukia snapped. "And a barely mature one at that. It isn't fair to expect him to save us all!"

"No one's saying that", Rangiku broke in tiredly. "But he is an advantage. We also have the arrancar that defected from the last war."

"Including yours truly", Nel nodded. "Nanao's right – it does look bad if we take Ulquiorra's reports and estimates at face value, but when we consider them properly - "

"You forget", Retsu Unohana's voice entered the fray, devoid of its usual calm. "There are currently up to ten vasto lorde among our opponents. I believe we once originally calculated our defeat as impossible to avoid if there were more than eight."

"If this is your attempt to restore our spirits and improve the current mood", Soi Fon ground out, "then might I suggest you cease and desist?"

"I am just making a point, Soi Fon", the older woman sighed. "I don't like it anymore than you do."

"Who do we have that could take on a vasto lorde?" Isane queried.

"Finally!" Yachiru threw up her hands, shaking her head as she perched on the arm of a couch next to Nemu. "A question that's actually worth considering."

They all gave this question serious thought, ignoring the cheerful 'I could!' that came from the kitchen.

"Shunsui's idiocy aside", Nanao began thoughtfully, "he's probably one of the best contenders. Captain Ukitake, too, provided his health didn't get the better of him."

"Of course he could!" Kiyone said hotly, glaring at Nanao for even appearing to question her captain's ability.

"I daresay I could", Nel continued. "Ulquiorra and I are fairly evenly matched, and in his original form he _was_ a vasto lorde, so that's four."

Retsu sighed. "I am better able to serve by working with the injured, but if it comes down to it, I'm certainly capable. And Ke - " She caught herself, a faint flush on her cheeks. "Captain Zaraki, while certainly possessing the power, lacks the appropriate control of it, so I think we can only really classify him as a possibility."

Yachiru snorted, before muttering to herself so quietly that only Nemu heard it, "Backwards Braid Lady and Ken-chan – worst kept secret _ever_."

"Working together, Grimm and I could take one down", Soi Fon stated clinically, "and I imagine that with Lieutenant Kusajishi to assist her captain could too." She frowned. "I don't like to put myself forward without certainty, but I might possibly be able to on my own. Grimm, too", she added thoughtfully.

"Nii-sama and Ichigo could", Rukia admitted. "Renji, too, since he's started training with both of them."

"So eight definite and three possibilities", Rangiku mused, looking considerably more energetic. "Toushiro's powerful enough, I think."

"And Pachinko Head and Feather Face", Yachiru called out, before grimacing. "Well, maybe. Depends if anyone's watching."

Ignoring that cryptic remark, Nanao looked pensive. "What about the Captain-Commander?"

Retsu went uncomfortably silent as the room turned to look at her. "I'm not at liberty to discuss a patient's health. You know that."

"A hint?" Momo asked. "A vaguely reassuring gesture, even? Isane?"

"Both Captain Unohana and I are bound by oath, Momo!" The tall, silver-haired woman looked scandalised.

"You won't even tell your little sister?" Kiyone was making a valiant effort to look as woebegone and pitiful as possible.

"Argh! Captain, permission to smack Lieutenant Kotetsu over the head in response to emotional blackmail?"

"Smacking yourself over the head, Nee-san? A little worrying, I guess, but not something you'd need your captain to authorise."

Glaring at her younger sister, Isane shook her head. "I could cheerfully strangle you sometimes, Kiyone."

On Nemu's other side, Momo giggled and, seeing her friend's confused expression, explained, "Siblings. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em, can't find a decent place to bury the body."

Since Nemu knew full well that Momo was only capable of harming hollows because she focussed on the soul inside being freed, she suspected, firstly, that Momo wasn't actually endorsing murder, and secondly, that this was another of those figures of speech that her friend had been endeavouring to teach her about – with limited success.

"You have a sister, too?" Nemu was a little confused.

Momo grinned. "I have Toushiro. I love him to bits, and he loves me too, but no one can annoy us the way we annoy each other."

"Ah." Nemu considered this.

_Someone connected to you who cares for you unconditionally. It sounds… genuinely wonderful, actually. Well, with the exception of the annoyances, that is. _

_Still…_

Her face turned wistful. "It does sound nice."

Momo smiled, nudging Nemu's arm with her elbow. "I do kinda have a sister as well, though you've never been a pain or called me things like Shiro-chan does."

It was still a very foreign expression on her face, but Nemu managed to rearrange her features into a small smile, feeling profoundly grateful once again that she had become friends with this woman. "You have yet to do the same to me, either. This does indicate that we are lacking some of the requirements for sisterhood."

Momo giggled again, shaking her head. "Oh well. Guess we'll have to stick to being best friends. The job description's similar, but there _is_ markedly less mockery involved."

Nemu's smile widened infinitesimally. "I'm so glad."

After the betrayals that sparked the Winter War, most of the lieutenants had returned to their duties. Momo, however, had been in the Fourth, recovering. Even when she had healed, everyone had been reluctant to let her back onto the field – her dedication to Aizen and the lengths she had been willing to go to for him were still too fresh in everyone's minds. She'd spent the remainder to the war stationed with the Fourth, the odd one out until Nemu, fresh from the pain of her father's treachery, had been ordered to serve there too, for the very same reason. Somehow the two women, despite the vast differences in their temperaments, had ended up firm friends, the bridging factor of shared experience between them. They understood one another, in a way that no one else seemed to after the war, they saw things from a similar perspective, and they found, as they became better acquainted, that they had many of the same traits and opinions, something that had remained unnoticed in favour of their superficial differences. True, Momo was emotional to Nemu's logical, and outgoing compared to Nemu's reserve, but this only seemed to balance them out as their behaviour influenced one another. Either way, it was the opinion of most of the Seireitei that their friendship was probably one of the best things that had come out of the war, and both women firmly agreed.

Both women also realised that they should probably pay attention to the conversation at hand, as the majority of the SWA were now badgering both Fourth Division members for more information. Nemu couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the besieged captain, just as she realised that she could alleviate her suffering.

Clearing her throat, she ventured an 'excuse me' over the noise.

It was rather convenient that, despite how soft-spoken she was, Nemu actually offering an opinion was still enough of a novelty to command everyone's attention. Belatedly, she realised that she was now stuck being the focus of everyone's gaze – hardly her favourite role. Swallowing down a vague sense of nervousness, she spoke.

"My captain is also a contender, as you call it, and so, too, would be Lady Yoruichi." She took a deep breath, before continuing. "However, if we include in the possibilities those who have power but lack training, there is another avenue yet to be explored – me."

The shock on everyone's faces gave way to disbelief. Beside her, Momo made a disgruntled noise, getting to her feet.

"Don't get like that. Think about it – Nemu acted as a lieutenant for decades without access to her zanpakuto and still was considered capable! Her father created her to be indestructible, incredibly strong and fast _without _the power her zanpakuto lent her, since he didn't believe in her carrying it. I've been training with her for a year now, so I have firsthand knowledge – she's much more powerful than me. If Nemu had someone who knew what they were doing train her…"

Momo trailed off, letting that thought sink in as she sat down, giving Nemu a quick grin. "I figured an additional testimony could only help."

Nemu blinked, still taking it in. "Thank you."

"What kind of zanpakuto do you wield?" Soi Fon's interest was clear as she sized up Nemu critically. "If it's a poison-type like your father I'd be happy to - "

Nemu shook her head. "No, it's nothing like my father's, which is odd given how much spiritual material we share. It's elemental."

Silence descended as they all considered this.

"You need a captain", Nanao murmured thoughtfully. "Momo's one of the stronger lieutenants, and certainly one of the strongest with that particular type of sword and if you can overwhelm her..."

"So, who's got an elemental sword?" Yachiru piped up. "Ya know, aside from Big Boss, since he's a bit busy right now. And Ken-chan coz'… Well, ya know."

"I do!" Once again, the disembodied voice from the kitchen rang out, as Nanao rolled her eyes.

"Shunsui", she called back, "are you seriously volunteering for more work?"

There was a very awkward pause.

"I thought so", she muttered.

"Toushiro does", Rangiku began as Momo shook her head.

"I love Shiro-chan, but he lacks the patience to teach", Momo stated bluntly.

"Well", Rukia began thoughtfully, "there must be - "

"Oh, I know!" The voice from the kitchen had emerged, as Shunsui and a plate of curry puffs swanned into the room, careful to ignore Nanao's gestures to remove himself. "Jyuu-chan could do it! He's got the patience of a saint _and_ an elemental weapon. The Captain-Commander's been trying not to overload him lately, even though his health is good, so he keeps complaining that he has nothing to do. I'm sure he'd love to."

Silence reigned as they took this in.

"That", began Retsu, "is actually not a terrible idea."

"I'm as stunned as you are", remarked Nanao dryly, he eyes fixed on her fiancée. "So, Jyuushiro as Nemu's teacher, Shunsui?"

He stared back at her innocently. "It's an thought, isn't it?"

"It certainly is", she returned, her lips quirked into a smile. "And it was only your urge to be helpful that prompted this particular thought, am I right?"

The innocent look stayed firmly in place. "Of course, Nanao-chan."

Nemu's mind was racing as she took this in.

_Working with Captain Ukitake? It is the logical conclusion and I want to improve, but do I really wish to put my training in the hands of the man who reappears each night in my nightmare?_

_No, I cannot blame the captain for that. He hardly rules over my subconscious. Captain Urahara _did _suggest confronting the source of my dream and, given that Mayu – my father is now out of reach, this is the most obvious step. _

_Perhaps this is the opportunity to achieve both of my goals._

"Well, Nemu-san, what do you think?" Nanao's exuberant captain gazed at her expectantly.

Momo slipped her hand into Nemu's, squeezing reassuringly. Beside her, the quiet lieutenant queried, "Are you sure that he'd be willing to take on this responsibility. I fail to see what he would gain from it, and I don't wish to impose."

Shunsui frowned in thought, before grinning. "I know! You can come visit us tomorrow when we go on our weekly Eighth/Thirteenth picnic. It'll give you the chance to test the waters, since Jyuu-chan will be there, and you can bring Momo if you want a bit of emotional support. Even if it doesn't work out, any picnic organised by me is always a good time and we'd love to have you along."

_I have nothing to lose and possibly very much to gain. If Momo is willing –_

She broke off her train of thought to see Momo attempting to nod surreptitiously beside her (and failing miserably).

_Well, that settles it._

"Very well", Nemu began hesitantly, "I'd be glad to. What time should we be ready?"

Nanao may or may not have been wearing her 'I'm not fooled' face. Shunsui wasn't about to check.

xXx

**Gah. I have had two weeks that have left me very crabby. For anyone thinking of enrolling at a university for post-graduate studies, let me offer you a piece of advice – don't if you can avoid it in any way, shape or form.**

**Grrr.**

**Remember, reviews are balm to my cranky little soul…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Oh, I wish.**

**Listening to: David Bridie – 'Hotel Radio'.**

Chapter Four

The morning of the weekly Eighth/Thirteenth picnic dawned beautifully clear, and the day had only seemed to improve as the sun rose higher in the sky. By the time things were in full swing the sun was shining, the birds were singing, there was scarcely a cloud in the sky and Jyuushiro was seriously considering murdering his best friend.

Since _that_ conversation in his office Jyuushiro had expected barely veiled hints, accidental meetings and pitifully handled interrogations. Shunsui had delivered on none of these accounts, which had naturally made him even more nervous. Still, a week and a half later, he had finally let out a breath of relief. Perhaps, for once, Shunsui had realised that he was making something out of nothing and had decided to let this potential source of Jyuu-kun teasing slide…

No such luck.

That illusion had perished the second he'd arrived at the vast tree they picnicked under only to find that, in addition to his usual companions Shunsui and Nanao, there were two additional party members, one of whom was the very source of his Shunsui-based panic. Jyuushiro did not believe in coincidence and, therefore, he firmly believed that Nemu Kurotsuchi quietly sitting next to Nanao and a rather unexpected Momo Hinamori, and Shunsui trying and failing to not look smug, were very much interlinked no matter what his best friend protested about the SWA being the main party involved. Why they would be a part of this was beyond him, and he had barely restrained himself from making a rude gesture at his fellow captain in response to, 'You could just talk to her, Jyuu-kun, and find out why she's here'.

_Although, the urge to respond in that manner was mostly a result of Shun's tone and accompanying eyebrow wiggling, rather than the words of his statement._

_Anyway, back to my original train of thought – does it still count as fratricide if we're only brothers in spirit?_

_Damn Shunsui and his urge to interfere in everything. 'Just talk to her' – and say what exactly, hmmm? _

_So… I killed your father. How's that working out for you?_

_Oh, I know – Why did you stay? Or how about – I know you thanked me for killing your father, but does that mean I'm actually forgiven, or were you just trying to say the 'right' thing? Should I be sleeping with one eye open?_

_Or I could retreat into the insignificant and asinine. Lovely weather we're having – always a showstopper._

_Maybe – I'm planning to kill my best friend for getting involved in my love life, or lack thereof. Want to help? No, that opening line wouldn't be strange and creepy in the least. _

_Do you come here often? No, wait! That sounds like the sort of thing Shunsui would expect in _his_ warped little version of the world. _

_I need to get out of the office more. I sound socially inept._

In truth, Jyuushiro felt tongue-tied. Any attempt he had tried to make at conversation had been hampered by the knowledge that his best friend was watching every move he made like a hawk and that there were no safe topics to discuss with Nemu as long as this was the case, so he'd given it up as a bad job. He'd taken himself a few metres from the others in order to sit and think, and was now staring at the horizon as though it had offended him personally.

_Not that there are many safe topics with her anyway. Family is out, work is out since it's too closely linked with family, shared history is out… Which leaves what? Literature? I have no idea what she reads or even if she does so outside of her duties. Then again, I know nothing about her at all so I might as well start somewhere. But how? Just sidle up to the girl and ask her if she likes books?_

_Oh Kami, Shunsui would have a field day with that. _

_I'm over-thinking the situation. I want to understand her decision but I don't need to get to know her like this. Nanao could probably tell me what I need to know in order to comprehend Kurotsuchi-san's motivations – I don't even need to engage her in conversation. I have no reason at all…_

_Except, of course, for curiosity. I'll admit, I have that in spades._

_Just not for the reasons that Shunsui is suggesting, damn him…_

_Which brings me back to plotting his demise. _

The sound of a throat clearing at his side jolted him out of his thoughts and back to reality. Unfortunately, it was a reality in which his ex-best friend was trying to talk to him.

"You", Jyuushiro growled quietly to a decidedly nervous-looking Shunsui.

"Uh, me?" Shunsui attempted a winning smile, which only made Jyuushiro more tempted to punch him. "You know, you really ought to start talking to our guests. Or maybe even just talking in general. I think Nemu-san has said more than you today, and frankly I'm finding that a little alarming."

Narrowing his eyes, Jyuushiro replied, "Don't give me that. You know damn well why I'm annoyed, and it's your fault!"

"Now, now", his friend began in a reasonable tone, "I did explain to you that the SWA wanted the two of you to talk. I just suggested this as a low-key and relatively less awkward setting."

"Suggested, did you? And the SWA came up with a concept of us interacting in the first place, did they?" Jyuushiro continued through gritted teeth, "No one _suggested_ anything else?"

Shunsui had the good grace to look a little sheepish. "Ok, I did help them along there, but they would have come to the same conclusion anyway." Running a hand through his dark hair, Shunsui tried to talk himself out of being the target of his friend's wrath. "It's not what you think, for once, at least where I'm concerned. The young lady needs help, Jyuu, and you're the best option she has." He considered this. "Probably the only one, too."

This was new. Jyuushiro's anger dissipated as he frowned, turning this suddenly acquired fact over in his mind. "Really? What does - "

Shunsui shook his head. "It's up to her to decide whether she even wants assistance in the first place, and then to ask. She might prefer not to, especially after the warm and fuzzy reception you've given her today."

This earned him a glare. "Forewarning would have been nice, Shun."

"I wasn't even sure if she'd really come along", his friend admitted. "She's somewhat tentative about connecting with most of the Gotei 13, as they are about connecting with her. Nemu-san is much more sensitive than people give her credit for – she knows when she's not wanted and Kami knows she's had enough of _that_ sort of atmosphere with her father. She's not going to force her presence on anyone or make them help her if they aren't willing, not matter what her own needs are." Shunsui frowned, his gaze going to the quiet young woman kneeling on the ground, who was nodding in response to whatever Momo had just whispered into her ear. "Seriously Jyuu, whatever you decide, tread cautiously with her. Nanao will kill us both if her little protégé gets hurt."

Jyuushiro raised one dark eyebrow. "Since when have I ever been careless of other people's feelings, Shun?"

"I'm perfectly aware of your wonderful track-record and ability to play nicely with others, Jyuu-kun, just don't slip up now", Shunsui responded with a smile, before chuckling to himself. "Ah, Jyuu-kun. Ever the gentleman. And now your good friend Shun has even found you a damsel in distress!"

"My good friend Shun should stop talking about himself in the third person", muttered Jyuushiro. "I would also recommend that he cease and desist all innuendo involving me if he wants to live." Gathering his thoughts, he frowned slightly. "So, you really suggested this meeting purely out of altruistic impulse?"

"Uh, mostly?" Shunsui ventured, holding up his hands when Jyuushiro narrowed his eyes in a glare. "Hey, you wouldn't believe me if I told you otherwise."

"And I'd be right not to."

"Touché. Still, the woman needs your assistance. I just found the timing… convenient", Shunsui finished, a smug smile on his face.

"Yes", Jyuushiro remarked wryly, "I'm very sure you did. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go talk to Nanao."

He walked back toward the main gathering, cries of 'Abandoning me, Jyuu-kun? How cold!' echoing behind him as he shook his head and smiled.

xXx

Nemu was having second thoughts about this whole affair.

_Is that right? Are they still second thoughts if I have had them repeatedly? If not…Can people have four hundred and eighth thoughts? Would this then count as one, too? I need to ask Momo to clarify this for me, though it will have to wait. Right now I need to focus on the current task – talking to Captain Ukitake._

To be fair, most of her reluctance to speak was because of who she would be speaking to. Not only had he seemed out of sorts today but, despite the fact that Captain Ukitake was always open and friendly to talk to, she could sense that he never quite knew what to say to her. It bothered Nemu, that a man so accustomed to making everyone else feel at ease in conversation was always at a loss when it came to their few encounters. People tended to prefer treating Nemu as if she weren't there unless they knew her well, but he always tried to make an effort to be nice and include her, especially since the war, and she could see that he struggled with it. As much as she wanted to put him at his ease, Nemu had no idea how to go about it. She had thanked him for killing her father very politely but that hadn't seemed to help at all, and she was unable to think of any other way to make what little conversation they had less stilted.

_This bothers me too much. I will do what Momo said and just keep it simple. A quick explanation, an assurance that he is not bound to assist me unless he wishes to, and then I can work out what path to pursue from there._

_If he accepts, then I can worry about how we will converse. Though why seeing how difficult he finds it to talk to me bothers me so, I have no idea. I am used to my colleagues' wooden attempts to interact with me – they either amuse or annoy me. Putting aside the thought that I am too much like my father in those responses, why should he be any different?_

Nemu grimaced slightly to herself as she realised that, not only had she not heard most of what Nanao was saying, but that the woman in question was now being called over by Captain Kyouraku. Apparently he required her to adjudicate in a friendly debate between himself and Momo about whether the food he was currently cooking was done or not, which meant that Nemu was now alone with her thoughts. A soft breeze blew her bangs across her face as she looked up to watch the tree branches sway. With a shrug, she rose to her feet. If the others were all occupied with their current conversation, she was going to look around. It was clear to her that Captain Kyouraku knew how to select a place to picnic, one that combined beauty with functionality. The fairly ancient and sizable tree under which they'd been sitting provided adequate shade, the trunk was wide enough to act as a wind-bank and the general surrounds were lush and green, possibly in part because of the small, swift-flowing stream that ran not to far away. Her attention now on this, Nemu walked forward slowly, her mind occupied with less sedentary activity as she thought through her situation.

_I need training. If Captain Soi Fon's report from her mission to Hueco Mundo is entirely accurate, then Akon is now the Eighth Espada and is still decidedly not fond of me. At my current level he would, as Momo says, make minced meat of me._

_Though why he would wish to go to the effort of doing that, when it'd be far simpler to just kill me and leave my body to rot in the sand, is beyond me. Some of Momo's turns of phrase are entirely nonsensical._

_All of this aside, the central point remains – I need training. With an elemental sword, my options are limited. Captain Ukitake really is the only feasible teacher, which means that I need to talk to him and I will never have a better opportunity than what I am currently being presented with. Therefore, logically, I need to take advantage of this now and stop just sitting here fretting about it._

Nemu arrived at the bank of the stream, kneeling to dip her hand cautiously in the cool water.

_Unfortunately, there are any number of things I would prefer to do instead. Having to attempt conversation with Captain Ukitake, the man who my subconscious mind clearly has some sort of fixation with, the man who killed my father? With all that to consider, is it any wonder that our conversations are so fraught with difficulty?_

_I cannot dwell on this. I am wasting -_

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Nemu looked up just as the very source of her internal monologue came to a stop beside her, standing awkwardly as he looked down at her. Withdrawing her hand from the water, she stood up to face him.

_No time like the present. And Momo did give me some ideas for making this conversation easier._

"Captain Ukitake." She nodded in greeting, before adding, "Do you typically purchase such intangible things?"

Jyuushiro blinked at that one. "Well, no. Kurotsuchi-san, you can't actually buy - "

"I know", Nemu replied quietly, trying not to sigh out her frustration. "I am not a fool, Captain. I am perfectly aware of what a figure of speech is, though most of them are entirely without sensible origin." She frowned slightly.

_Clearly attempting humour was not one of Momo's best ideas._

Still blinking in confusion, Jyuushiro fought the instinct to gape like a fish. Of all the things he had come to expect from the young lieutenant, any statement that resembled a joke, however slightly, had not been on that list. Still, he reflected, he could hardly say that a few purely professional, albeit friendly, chats really gave anyone a clear picture to work from. At least her reproof had not been unkind, just resigned. He wasn't sure if that was really any better but, all the same, he schooled his features into a polite smile. Gently, he returned, "My apologies. I certainly don't think you a fool. On the contrary, a penny would be undervaluing your thoughts."

Behind him came the familiar noise of a fan hitting flesh, as Nanao sharply told her fiancée not to grope her in public. With a resigned smile and a roll of his eyes, Jyuushiro muttered, "It'd be about the right price for Shunsui's, though."

It was so quick that he might have missed it, but the corner of Nemu's lips clearly twitched upward in what was potentially a smile. A barely-used corner of his brain couldn't help but point out that it was a rather pretty almost-smile, which made Jyuushiro shake his head slightly. Shunsui was clearly getting to him.

Nemu, meanwhile, was watching the strange pair and mused aloud, "Would that be on a single thought basis, or would that be your price for the sum total?"

It was a combination of the sheer unexpectedness of the question and the casual, almost curious, way she voiced it, but Jyuushiro found himself chuckling and answering before he could stop himself. "Oh, the total. Definitely the total."

Humour, though, had apparently not broken the ice. Once Jyuushiro's quick laugh had petered out, they returned to regarding each other in silence. She barely moved, he noticed. The awkwardness was almost tangible, and he longed to break it by looking away or thinking of something to blurt out, however foolish, but he felt caught by her calm, steady gaze as she scrutinised him.

_Great. Just great. The moment where I desperately need something to say and my one coherent thought is about how green her eyes are._

_This is all Shunsui's fault._

Clearing his throat, Jyuushiro began, "So, how are you finding your work?" Nemu blinked at him as she considered this, and Jyuushiro continued, determined not to fall into silence again. "Is Captain Urahara enjoyable to work with? Have you been doing anything interesting in the lab, or - "

There, in the back of Jyuushiro's mind, was the part that noticed things like pretty almost-smiles and very green eyes. It was this same part that was now pointing out to him with glee that, despite the fact that he was a decorated captain and over a millennia old, he was now babbling like an idiot. Needless to say, Jyuushiro didn't much like that particular part of his mind, especially when it was right. He let his stream of questions trail off.

Nemu turned back to look at the stream, her face pensive. "Captain Urahara is intelligent, capable and entertaining. I enjoy my work. At present we are not involved in any particularly important experiments." She gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head, before turning back to look at him. "Captain, why are you here?"

Thrown by the abrupt question, Jyuushiro stuttered out, "Wha – I'm here for the picnic."

She made a noise at the back of her throat that sounded distinctly impatient. "That is not what I meant. Very few people actually seek me out for conversation without at least one other individual for backup, and you are not a part of that select group. So allow me to rephrase – why are you here talking to me?"

He paused, taking in the complete lack of bitterness in her tone. Instead, there was only the air of a woman quietly stating a fact, perhaps with a hint of tired resignation. Deciding that this conversation couldn't get much worse, he relented and said what immediately came into his head.

"You're very abrupt."

She flinched sharply, a contrast to her composed face, before she lowered her eyes. "I am. Mayu – my father was not entirely able to cure me of that. He hated that I resembled him in any way."

"I don't mind." The words were out of his mouth before he even realised he meant them. Shaking his head, he asked, "Why do you - " It occurred to Jyuushiro mid-question that this was perhaps not the best topic for him, of all people, to address. Nemu, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind.

"Why do I always go to refer to him by his name?" She sighed softly, turning back to watch the stream flow for a moment. "I was to call him Mayuri-sama. That was the rule. In the privacy of my own mind, however, he was always my father. Now that he is no longer there to enforce the order, I may call him what I choose. I just need to remind myself of that sometimes." Looking back at Jyuushiro, she added, "It has not escaped my notice that you have yet to answer the question that I put to you."

"Oh, right." Racking his brains, Jyuushiro remembered. "Shunsui mentioned that you might want to talk to me. I just thought I'd give you the opportunity."

"I see." Her face was pensive again as she regarded him. "How much does your illness influence your abilities? Does it hamper you in any way?"

Anyone else would have never put that question to him in a million years, but he found that he didn't mind.

_At least she's bothering to ask and isn't just assuming that I'm too frail for anything but paperwork._

"I know my limits. A prolonged fight is a potential problem, but to me that means several hours of extreme physical exertion. My endurance increases the more I rely on my sword, though that's a dangerous crutch. But I'm careful with my health, and I haven't had a serious attack since before the war." He gazed back at her curiously. "Why do you ask?"

Nemu was not one of those people who believed in beating about the bush or, indeed, any shrubbery. "I need someone to train me to use my zanpakuto, someone used to handling elemental weapons. Momo and I have been training together, but she cannot teach me any thing more than she already has. As she is one of the strongest lieutenants, I clearly need a captain now."

Of the very few things Jyuushiro had expected in this conversation, this was decidedly not one of them. He reacted just the way Shunsui said he did when surprised – like an idiot.

"But, I killed your father!" The second the words were out of his mouth, he wished he was back at the tree with the others, if only because the tree trunk would be a nice, solid surface to beat his head against.

Nemu just continued to stare at him calmly. "I do not hold that against you. It was a fair fight and he would have done the same to you, had you lost. I cannot say that I wished him dead, but I did wish to be removed from his influence and that was probably the only feasible way to achieve that." Her head bowed forward, her bangs obscuring her face as she finished quietly, "I know that I call him my father, but that is only because the connection cannot be denied. He never claimed the role, though, unless it suited him. I do not mourn him."

That was all well and good, but Jyuushiro was still reeling.

_Train her? Kami knows, I need something to do, but can we work together? We can barely have a conversation, though I'll admit, she is growing on me. And she does make me curious. I'd love to know more about her motivation to stay here in the first place. It seems to be more of a desire not to go with her father, but he had such a hold on her. There must be more to it…_

_Which I could discover if I trained her. She may be difficult to talk to, but she's clever and attentive – a perfect candidate to learn. She's certainly determined. Given how little she interacts with anyone outside her circle, to put herself forward like this, she must want my help._

_No, not want – need. And as a captain of the Gotei 13, I am honour-bound to help my fellow shinigami and all those less powerful than myself. She'd fall into both of those categories._

_I should train her. And if it happens to dovetail with my desire to explore her intentions and rationale, then so be it._

"Have you made contact with your zanpakuto?" Jyuushiro nodded to himself as she replied in the affirmative. "Very well. You have its name?"

Nemu nodded, a strange feeling of anticipation starting to coil within her. The fact that he was asking her questions was a promising sign, surely. She decided to volunteer further information.

"My element is apparently rock, or earth. I can manipulate it, though there are certain limitations in distances and types. I've yet to really explore the variations."

Jyuushiro frowned. "That's not really my element."

"I know", Nemu replied, her eyes troubled. "But it doesn't appear to be anyone else's, either. At least you handle a weapon with some similarities to my own, rather than none."

"True." Jyuushiro's frown vanished, as he smiled broadly. "In that case, Kurotsuchi-san, I gladly accept. I'd be happy to train you, if only to keep me from going stir crazy in the office."

Nemu nodded slowly, before looking up at him. The almost-smile was back. "Thank you. If you don't mind, could we discuss a schedule now? With the current situation, I'd rather not waste time."

"Of course. As a captain I have a fair amount of freedom in my day, so when would suit you best?"

As they discussed the details, one thought resolutely went round and round in Jyuushiro's head.

_Shunsui is going to be unbearable_.

xXx

**I know – bad wait. I have had a crazy six weeks, that finally culminated in me getting accepted to the university of my choice and killing my sea-monkeys (Suitably bittersweet, I felt). **

**And yes, I am a grown woman with sea-monkeys. At least, I was.**

**Anyway, this interaction has been messing with my head for a while. I suspect Nemu is a little OOC, but after everything that has happened and with her father out of her life, she'd have to have deviated somewhat from how she is in canon. She's still a little quiet, a little odd and still lacking most social graces, but she's a little more secure in putting herself forward, too. It certainly is going to make for some interesting conversations… **

**R and R, y'all!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Oh, but how I wish I were mine…**

**Listening to: Queens of the Stone Age – 'Do it Again'.**

Chapter Five

Captain Kisuke Urahara stared at the puddle of rather noxious-looking purple ooze on his floor and frowned. Apparently even the best planned of experiments could end up like this, though he was currently wondering how exactly that had occurred as he stared at the remains of what had once been a promising trial.

Beside him, Nemu helpfully offered, "You should probably get someone to dispose of that. It's starting to bubble and I do not think that you wish to run the risk of it eating through the floor."

That snapped him out of his contemplative state. "All too true, Nemu-san." He grimaced again as he took in the rather ominous result of his last attempt, before muttering to himself, "That really wasn't supposed to happen. At all." To his assistant and lieutenant, he added, "Nemu-san, I need the file - "

" – of your previous experimental combinations so that you can also rule this formula out and check what our next option is", she finished for her captain as she held out the appropriate folder.

"Precisely", Kisuke muttered distractedly as he fished about in his pockets, "Say, you wouldn't happen to have - "

A pen was held out, which he gratefully took. "Thanks. So, your thoughts on this particular debacle of a test?"

It was still very much a novelty for Nemu to be asked her opinion, and she rather enjoyed it. It did mean, however, that she was kept on her toes as she observed and learned from the various projects her captain took on. Captain Urahara was an eccentric, that was certain, but he was also a genius and Nemu was taking in information at an exponential rate – literally, since she had calculated the actual learning curve once, out of curiosity. He was vastly different to work with than her father had been, and it was only now that she realised that she actually liked the work the Twelfth Division did. It was a strange thing to find that your place was just where you had always been but then, she mused, the Twelfth under Mayuri Kurotsuchi and the Twelfth under Kisuke Urahara were entirely different things.

At the moment, however, it was her job to figure out why the explosive they were creating for the rank and file wasn't working. They had made some variations so that it no longer just slew hollows but purified them, all of which should work in theory. In practice, however…

"Perhaps", Nemu began pensively, "using kido to ignite it is the problem. Lower level shinigami often struggle with kido as a rule and given that you, a captain, cannot achieve the precision necessary to fire the device without these side effects, we should possibly begin to seek an alternative."

Putting the paperwork aside and fluttering his fan, Kisuke nodded. "That thought had crossed my mind. It does look as though it would take a Kido Master to launch it, which is hardly what we'd planned. Still, perhaps if we got one to look at it…" He trailed off, his mind ticking over. "Nemu-san, I need you to send a message to Lieutenant Ise and - "

He stopped, blinking at the letter Nemu held up, before grinning. "Damn, you're good. How in Hueco Mundo are you this prepared?"

Nemu shrugged. "Kido-based devices are difficult to operate and volatile, which is unfortunate since that is our last remaining option. Still, I thought it might be best if we anticipated needing the assistance of someone more proficient."

Fanning himself, Captain Urahara looked the missive over, still grinning broadly. "Ah, Nemu-san. Whatever would I do without you?"

A snort behind them altered both captain and lieutenant to the presence of the noblewoman who had just entered the room. "Seriously Kisuke, you want a list? Hey, Nemu. I take it that it still didn't explode."

"Lady Yoruichi." Nemu inclined her head, a faint smile on her face as the older woman strode over to lean against the desk. "It did not. It did, however, seep, boil and then congeal."

Yoruichi wrinkled her nose as she made herself comfortable. "Delightful."

"I thought so", Nemu replied, one corner of her mouth rising as her smile widened infinitesimally. "I also believe that I could add some items to that list you're planning."

Seating himself, Kisuke sighed. "Let the mockery begin."

"Let's see…" Yoruichi looked thoughtful. "Well, for a start, you'd never be able to find anything in this hovel - "

"Organised chaos!"

Yoruichi raised an eyebrow before turning to Nemu, who shook her head and added, "It conforms to no system that I can find, no matter how tenuous a definition of 'system' I use."

"Which means that there isn't one." The noblewoman grinned, continuing her onslaught. "You would never attend Captain's meetings, eat, sleep or even leave the lab."

"It's nice down here", he rejoined. Both women looked around the sparse, clinical test space and the pigsty that was Kisuke Urahara's office, despite Nemu's best efforts.

"Riiiight." Yoruichi managed to convey sarcasm, disbelief and an overall impression that Kisuke was an idiot, all in one single syllable word, before soldiering on. "Anyway, you'd forget my birthday - "

"And your own", Nemu helpfully supplied.

" – as well as anything to do with when you were supposed to meet your delightful significant other for lunch. For instance, Kisuke, what are we supposed to be doing right now?"

As a rather baffled Kisuke looked at the time and swore, frantically racing out of the room to find something less ooze-splattered to wear, Nemu frowned. "But I didn't know - "

"That's ok", Yoruichi grinned as she whispered to the other woman, "There wasn't ever any lunch date. I just like to see him freak out. He'll figure it out in a second. Still, the point remains – you're the best lieutenant he's ever had."

Nemu fought back the pride that statement made her feel with logic. "He's only ever had two lieutenants, and Hiyori Sarugaki hated him and regularly abused him."

The older woman shrugged. "Just because it wasn't hard to top that, doesn't make the statement any less true. Now, I'm going to give Kisuke another five seconds to figure out he's been tricked - "

"Dammit Yoruichi!" The scientist had returned, looking more amused than annoyed, with one arm stuck through his clean haori and the other reaching behind him in an attempt to find the other sleeve.

" – or not. He always does like to exceed my expectations." Yoruichi grinned. "Gee, Kisuke, seeing as you've dressed up an' all, wanna go get lunch?"

"You're terrible", he replied, rolling his eyes before turning to Nemu. "Do you mind? I know I said I'd continue working while you were gone - "

"Of course not", Nemu replied smoothly. Somehow, she suspected that about the same amount of relevant work would be achieved either way.

Her captain grinned back. "Excellent, then. And just send a hell butterfly along if Jyuushiro is working you too hard. I'll save you."

"The obligatory scoff at the thought of Kisuke doing anything heroic aside", Yoruichi began, one eyebrow raised, "why would Jyuushiro be working you too hard?"

Eyes firmly on her feet, Nemu softly responded. "Do you remember Captain Soi Fon's report on her brief capture?"

The other woman winced. Her protégé's injuries in Hueco Mundo had worried Yoruichi, and the information she had brought back… "Ah." Comprehension dawned. "Akon?"

Nemu nodded. "I did seem to be something of a sore point with him. If his abilities could give Lieutenant Jeagerjacques that much trouble, I wouldn't stand a chance as I am now."

Yoruichi nodded. "So training then." She looked thoughtful, before fixing her gaze on the sword at Nemu's hip. "An elemental weapon? Interesting."

"I thought so, too", Kisuke added thoughtfully, as his partner rolled her eyes.

"You think every anomaly is fascinating."

"But they are!"

"We're not having this conversation now", Yoruichi laughed as she grabbed his hand. "Lunch awaits!"

Shaking his head, Kisuke turned to Nemu and muttered, "She just doesn't get it." Fighting back a smile, Nemu watched them leave, before the realisation dawned that she was now left to clean up the testing room. As the bubbles in the puddle of purple fluid popped languidly, expelling something that Nemu was willing to bet was hazardous, one of the more interesting words Momo had taught her came to mind.

"Frick."

xXx

In her seat next to Rukia Kuchiki, Kiyone Kotetsu stared at her beloved captain through the window as he paced back and forward, occasionally muttering something unintelligible under his breath. The instinct to try and assist him was strong but, after a lengthy mutual consultation, both Rukia and herself had decided that this was clearly not something they could fix and, given that his health these days was much improved, not likely to be too big a problem.

That being said, it was more than a little odd to see Captain Jyuushiro Ukitake looking _nervous_, of all things.

Kiyone shook her head to clear it, and then shrugged. If her captain wanted to stalk across the outdoor training area floor all day, that was his business. Her business, she thought as she stared mournfully at her heavily laden desk, was getting the paperwork taken care of.

_Besides, I'm certain that Captain Ukitake knows exactly what he's doing._

xXx

Jyuushiro didn't have the first clue about what he was doing. Every piece of knowledge, every memory about training recruits, every last social grace had apparently deserted him, because he was now frantically trying to think of why he'd agreed to this and what the hell he was going to do now.

_Except I know exactly why I agreed to this – I was curious. More fool me. Still, I can hardly get out of it now. She needs me…_

_Just not in the way that Shunsui would insinuate._

_Oh Kami, he's even managed to invade and corrupt my thoughts. Kiyone was right – it _was_ only a matter of time. How else can I explain the fact that every time I think of the first training step I came up with – assessing her physical capabilities – I hear it in Shunsui's voice, complete with utterly inappropriate emphasis and imaginary suggestive eyebrow wiggle._

_I need help. Do the Fourth Division have a psychiatry unit? Retsu never mentioned it. Perhaps Retsu – _

_No, the woman always seems to know too much already. And she can be just as merciless as Shunsui with the 'Jyuu-kun' teasing when she chooses. Worse, if they both knew…_

_Not that there's anything to know. Just Shunsui's idiocy rubbing off on me. Nem – Kurotsuchi-san is an intelligent, attractive, if a little strange, young woman who needs my help. And makes me nervous. And keeps popping into my thoughts._

_Kami, I sound mad. This is ridiculous – I'm a grown man, I can – _

"Hello, Captain Ukitake."

Whatever Jyuushiro was about to remind himself of was lost, as he made a noise that may have been classed as a squeak and whipped around to face the object of his… thought process, for want of a better term. Nemu Kurotsuchi regarded him quietly, if a little curiously, as he attempted to pull himself together and master basic human interactions, such as greetings.

"Ah, hello Nemu-san", he began in a too-jaunty tone that sounded grating even to him. Internally wincing, he tried again. "I'm sorry, you startled me a little."

Nemu failed to see how that could be the case. After all, they'd agreed on this time and this place, he was clearly here in anticipation and she had arrived precisely when she was supposed to. How he could then claim to be startled by her presence was beyond her. All the same, she wasn't about to argue with her new sensei. She needed this to work, so work it would.

Hopefully.

"My apologies." She bowed gracefully, straightening to look him in the eye. "I am ready to begin whatever you had in mind, Captain. How did you wish to proceed?"

Ignoring his internal Shunsui-voice – _whatever_ I have in mind? _Hell-o! – _Jyuushiro blinked, his mind racing (and disturbingly racy). Finally, as his sensible brain decided at long last to kick into gear, he shrugged and said, "A simple spar should give us both the chance to see how you work with your weapon. I know you've been training with Momo and she's good with her blade, but she's not perfect and I want to be sure you haven't developed any poor habits. So, if you will?"

Nemu was tempted to bristle at any disparaging remarks made about Momo but, given that his assessment of her friend's skill tallied with her own, she let the matter drop. Nodding to him, she followed as he led her away from any buildings to avoid potential property damage. He'd apparently decided to leave his captain's haori back at the office for the duration of training, and the all-black shinigami uniform made him at once look younger and more severe. Nemu studied her new sensei as they walked, noting the points of contrast in dark brows and white hair, in a sense of vulnerability and the assured, athletic muscles of a swimmer or runner, in pale skin and eyes that were neither quite green or brown. These she fixed on with a frown, trying to determine the appropriate percentages of colour, but they seemed to shift with the light and defy her attempts at classification. Belatedly, she realised that she needed to look away before he caught her staring – if there was one thing she had learnt, it was that people didn't appreciate being looked at as test subjects or samples.

Personally, she would have welcomed being viewed in such an unbiased and non-judgemental manner, but perhaps her father's association with the field of science had tainted the idea for some people. Kami only knew, she could relate to _that_.

Still, a little more objectivity when people were around her would have been lovely. For example, she was well aware, despite his best attempts to conceal it, that the captain in front of her was terribly nervous. Nemu would like to have believed that it was because of the training itself, or some unrelated matter but she was, above all things, a realist. She was making him uncomfortable.

_Which seems slightly ironic, given that I'm the one who spends nights dreaming of his death. Logic dictates that he should be making _me _uncomfortable. Of course, I cannot truthfully say that I am unaffected by his nerves. I have a strong desire to break the silence with something that would dissipate this atmosphere – though what that would be, I do not know. And also…_

_I am disappointed. Disappointed that I inspire this reaction in him. How odd. I'm more than used to this situation, after all, though typically different shinigami are involved._

_Another anomaly. Interesting._

Nemu briefly toyed with the idea of trying to get Captain Ukitake to shed some light on the subject, but decided against that course of action on the grounds that he would most likely be no more able to decipher her feelings than she was and, furthermore, that they had now come to a stop. Looking around her, she frowned. They had come quite some way, and had apparently left Gotei 13 land and were now in some sort of garden. Nemu used the term garden very loosely – while there seemed to be some order as to what was planted where, at first glance you could easily have assumed that this was a piece of wilderness, a vast space with occasional clumps of plants. The man beside her appeared to sense her confusion.

Jyuushiro had felt better about this the second he'd walked through the open gate. There really was, he thought, nothing like a home ground advantage.

"This is Ukitake land", he began, by way of explanation, "and an interesting experiment of my father's."

Intrigued, Nemu replied, "An experiment? Of what sort? Does it involve the different varieties of plants?"

"It does." He'd gained her interest, which was a pleasant surprise.

_I wonder how much of my decision to bring her here was based on the functional qualities of this place, and how much was based on the hope that this could, perhaps, break the ice?_

Clearing his throat, Jyuushiro continued. "My father, many hundreds of years ago, was fascinated by the way different plants could thrive in different soils. He wanted to explore all the possibilities, and so he set this up. If you look carefully, you can see coloured pegs hammered into the ground. They mark out squares – each one with either a completely different type of soil or one enriched with a particular nutrient."

She was peering at what was planted in their square. Her expressions were usually so guarded and understated, but now her eyes were alive with interest. It was an arresting change, Jyuushiro realised. A faint smile on his face now, a further thought occurred to him.

_She and my father would have gotten along famously. Hell, he probably would have had her out here marking up sections with him, discussing the benefits of nitrogen-infused soil, over –_

_Kami, this place makes me nostalgic._

Nemu, meanwhile, was staring at her surroundings wide-eyed.

_It's perfect. Now that I cast my senses out, I can feel the differences. And the magnitude of this experiment – it is vast on a level I didn't anticipate. I wonder if any of his father's notes are intact?_

Inside Nemu's mind, another presence seemed to uncoil and take in what was around her. In a slightly smug tone, it added – _**Niiiiiice. Very nice. This captain of yours thinks of everything, it seems.**_

A little bewildered, Nemu thought back – _He's not my captain. I'm in Captain Urahara's squad_.

She heard what could only be classified as a snort – _**Shows what you know. Still, I like it here. When are you planning to let me out?**_

The eagerness in that question was clear. Nemu smiled slightly.

_Soon. Very soon. Now, I wonder…_

Straightening up, she turned to face her new sensei. He was looking around them, with a wistful expression that should have been entirely incongruent in a face that full of sharp angles. Strangely, it seemed to suit him. When he saw that he had her attention, he snapped out of it, looking faintly nervous once more. Nemu decided to quickly dive into conversation.

"You said it has all types of earth", Nemu murmured. "Does it also have sand?"

He could tell where her thoughts were lying. War hadn't necessarily been officially declared, but it was only a matter of time. Hueco Mundo was again teeming with their enemies, and it only wanted the slightest of incidents to start the bloodbath. It was painfully clear why she was asking, and he was glad to be able to answer her.

"It does. My family's holdings extend from here to the coast, which is fortunate in this case."

She nodded, something else crossing her mind. "That's an impressive amount of land. I realise that the Ukitake clan are not one of the four noble houses, but - "

"It was land no one wanted", Jyuushiro broke in, with an odd smile. "My father and his descendants purchased it to continue this work, not to grow crops. Some of it is nothing but rock."

"I see." And yet, she still didn't wish to stop questioning him. "His descendants? Not you?"

She had a way of hitting the nail on the head, he had to give her that. "I was sickly. Weak. It was only when I got older that it became clear that my spiritual pressure was contributing to the damage. Once I found a way to channel that, I improved, though never to complete health. My illness is permanent and incurable." He sighed, and looked about him. "Still, I loved to spend time here. That much hasn't changed."

"You miss your father then?" Nemu suspected that she already knew the answer to this, but as long as he was talking, he didn't appear nervous and she was willing to prolong that. He had a soothing voice, too – cultured, kind and deep. It was pleasant to listen to, she decided.

"Of course", Jyuushiro spoke without thinking, "doesn't everyone?"

It belatedly occurred to him that the woman right in front of him was the exception to this rule. Hurriedly, he corrected, "Well, that's different. My father and I were close. We may have had different interests, but I loved him. Over a thousand years of mourning dulls the grief, but the feeling remains."

She nodded, a thoughtful expression on her face. If he was going to be honest with her and share a part of his life, it was only fair that she respond in kind. "In a way, I too miss my father. Not the man himself, but the surety of what a day involved. It was simple – get up, experiment, try to avoid being screamed at or beaten, experiment more, sleep. There was never any deviation. Now, the deviations are almost endless. I am constantly being faced with decisions, and I have never been equipped to make them. Every day I have to deal with the gap between what I was created to be, and what I have become."

"Which is?" Jyuushiro felt like the answers were close. Would it be too blunt to put the question to her now? Was it worth the risk of having her close off from him? In his head, the words played over and over – If that's how you feel, then why did you stay? As far as you knew, we had nothing to offer you. What in Hueco Mundo did you see that day that gave you ample motivation to betray everything you knew?

"I was made to be a tool. A weapon and a lab assistant. And now…" She trailed off, the faintest of smiles on her face. "Now I am Nemu. No more and no less. I find that I enjoy the change."

It was saying something, given that he'd spent almost two millennia as Shunsui Kyouraku's best friend, but Jyuushiro had the feeling that this conversation was going to win the prize for most bizarre. Certainly, he couldn't shake the surreal quality it had. This was conversing – actually conversing – with Nemu Kurotsuchi. And he was enthralled. Her responses varied between the obvious and the entirely unpredictable, and the more he heard from her, the more he wanted to hear. All that aside, however, he had brought her here for a purpose and said purpose was not to stand around discussing their lives.

No matter how fascinating it was to do so.

Clearing his throat, Jyuushiro finally replied, "We should probably get to work. As yet, the peculiarities of this location will be left alone. This will be a simple spar – I only wish to review your technique as a swordswoman so their will be no need to engage your Shikai. I, however, will be doing so, but only so you can get the chance to show me what you are capable of when faced with dual blades. Now, there's more than ample space between plantings for us to do battle, so to speak, so I'd be grateful if you could also do what you can to avoid damaging any of the flora."

Something flickered in her face, and he could have sworn she raised an eyebrow for a flash. "Multiple objectives, then? One can hardly consider that a simple spar. And with your zanpakuto released, even relatively dormant like you intend, that's something of an unfair advantage."

He'd forgotten what it was like to be actually challenged, rather than annoyed (Shunsui's specialty), and was shocked to realise how refreshing he found it. Slowly drawing Sogyo No Katawari from its sheathe, whispering the command and separating it, he smiled. "Well, you have served as a lieutenant of the Gotei 13 for several decades. Multi-tasking in a fight is something you're no stranger to, so perhaps I was hoping to assess that aspect of your ability too."

Before she could stop herself, Nemu had slipped into a small smile. Sliding her own thin sword out of its holder, she replied, "Were you really?"

Jyuushiro grinned back and couldn't help but feel that, by making her smile, he'd definitely done something right. Subtly readying himself, he simply returned, "Nope."

As her eyes widened at the unexpected response, he flashed out of sight. Instantly, she brought her blade up to guard her side and steeled herself to meet the strike that came, enough force behind it to make the swords spark at the point of contact, but not enough to make her yield.

That was all well and good, until it occurred to Nemu – just in time – that the captain wielded twin zanpakuto.

Using her enhanced strength to disengage her blade from his, she whipped away, leaping out of reach as his second sword descended. Before she'd even had time to register where she'd landed, he'd disappeared again. Nemu frowned, her eyes narrowed in concentration as she tried to sense his reiatsu.

_He seems to rely on flash stepping for the element of surprise, and it's disconcerting to see how well it works. This is almost as bad as trying to spar with Yoruichi. Just when you think you spot him, he – THERE!_

Darting away with a few flash-steps of her own, Nemu heard the whistling swing of the blade she'd just avoided.

_I need to attack, not just defend. He has two weapons, experience and superior spiritual powers. And I…_

_I have all of the adjustments my father made to my body. I must seek my advantage there. I am stronger and faster and possibly more agile, too._

_Now, he said to avoid damaging the trees, but he never forbade me to touch them at all. If I am careful and use just the right amount of pressure…_

With a burst of speed, she headed toward one of the plantations with a particularly towering tree, her sword out and ready. All too aware that Jyuushiro was moving in, she launched herself at the vast trunk, landing about halfway up, and then kicked off into the open air. Readying herself as she flipped, she managed to land behind her opponent just as he was turning to meet her. Nemu smiled to herself.

_Perfect. And now – to demonstrate that I can do more than just defend myself._

Her sword a blur in her hands, she feinted left and smoothly altered the blade's course to the right, as Jyuushiro desperately swung Sogyo No Katawari to counter. He made it – just – and so Nemu continued her onslaught, determined to not give him a break.

Her technique, Jyuushiro decided as he scrambled to fend off her attacks, was flawless, and there was no doubt in his mind that all that needed work with this woman was her ability to control her spiritual powers.

_And if they are as impressive as her swordplay, she could easily be on a level with some of our newest captains. But her technique – I could happily watch her fight for hours. She improvises, utilises her surroundings, holds her blade perfectly whether she is striking or countering, and she has moves that I've never encountered before. It is more than that, though. She moves with a grace I have never seen on the battlefield – it's like a dance. Now, if she would just leave me an opening…_

Jyuushiro struck low, aiming at her legs. Nemu swiftly countered, using her strength to force his zanpakuto back, before realising that, in doing so, she left her sword arm unprotected. It was an opportunity her sensei did not miss. With one hand, Jyuushiro brought the hilt of one blade down on her arm, shocking her into releasing her own sword. The other was held at her throat, preventing her from retrieving her weapon.

He couldn't help but feel triumphant at the look of astonishment in those too-green eyes. A smile on his face, he asked, "Do you yield?"

A shadow of a smile flickered on Nemu's face, as something occurred to her. "You only yield when you are weapon-less, correct?"

"Yes", Jyuushiro replied warily. There was something that told him this fight wasn't quite –

So fast he could barely see it, she struck out, dodging his blade to place precise hits on the nerve bundles contained near his elbows. Numb, his hands let his zanpakuto fall to the ground as she ducked behind him to retrieve hers.

Jyuushiro looked from his hands, to his fallen swords, and back again before uttering an erudite, "Huh?" From behind him still, Nemu spoke.

"Captain, I did point out earlier today that I was created to be a weapon. As such, I can hardly be considered weapon-less at any point in time, can I? Don't panic, the feeling should return to your arms in less than five minutes."

He was trying not to laugh now. Her logic had a certain inescapable quality to it and her voice, low and musical, couldn't quite conceal her amusement.

_I wonder if she's wearing that almost-smile again._

"Touche", he replied out loud, finally giving in to the urge to chuckle. "Anymore wisdom you wish to impart? I noticed that you felt the need to get our surroundings involved."

Stepping back into view, Nemu shrugged and satisfied Jyuushiro's curiosity about the almost-smile, which was clearly in evidence. "You said not to damage them, but you never restricted their involvement."

"Right." There was a prickling in his arms that told him he'd be fully functioning soon, as he replied, "So clearly I can't allow loopholes of any sort around you."

Her lips twitched and her tiny smile widened. "Captain Urahara could have told you that. So Captain, do I pass inspection?"

"You do", he nodded, "with flying colours, though you could use some additional practice fighting someone with dual weapons. You adapted well, but it was a little out of your comfort zone. That aside, though, our focus will mostly be on your bond with your weapon and ability to fight with it, and we should start right away." Attempting to twitch his fingers, Jyuushiro reconsidered. "At least, we should start meditating when I get the feeling back in my fingers."

Oh yes, she was definitely fighting back a proper smile now. "As you say, Captain. Shall I retrieve your zanpakuto for you?"

Despite his resigned nod as she trotted off on her errand, Jyuushiro was grinning internally.

_That surprisingly wasn't too bad. Little awkwardness, actual conversation and an eager, intelligent pupil – what more does a sensei ask for? And if she continues to be so willing to talk to me, I might just get the answers for my questions sooner than I thought._

_And she really does look lovely when she's trying not to laugh, although it'd be nice if it were with me, rather than at me._

_Not that it matters._

_Still – I think I might just enjoy this after all._

xXx

**I know! It's late and I'm terrible. In my defence, though, uni ate my life with relish. Pickle relish. Apparently my life was delicious. That being said, I am writing this stuff down whenever I can, so hopefully the next one will be up quicker. I haven't been able to find the time to respond to reviews and such either, which has sucked, so please don't believe that I'm indifferent to your feedback. I looooove feedback (Flames, not so much, but they do make me giggle. Such abuse of the English language...), and if I could personally track you down and hug you all, I would. So, thanks. **

**R and R, y'all. I need something to make up for my devoured life.**

**Also, thanks to Anonymouse for spotting a silly mistake of mine. *fistbump* Sleep deprivation makes me a little deranged...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own my cold. I think I do anyway – my head feels like mush right now, so I could be wrong. Don't own Bleach, though. If Mr. Kubo wishes to remedy that, I am contactable outside of business hours, though I do warn him – I'm not making much sense right now. Damn cold medicine.**

**Listening to: BRMC – 'The Likes of you' and Goldfrapp – 'Lovely Head'.**

Chapter Six

Three weeks and a dozen other training sessions later, Jyuushiro sat quietly under a tree on the Ukitake grounds and watched Nemu as she sat in the perfect stillness that meditation and communing with your zanpakuto required (in the sword's own universe, that is. Most swords were more than vocal enough in general). Those three weeks had been… interesting, to say the least. Jyuushiro was no closer to getting the answers he wanted, and yet he still couldn't quite bring himself to write off the time he had spent in this endeavour.

Training Nemu Kurotsuchi had somehow become the high point of his day.

Personally, he blamed his too-quiet and efficient office. With Sentaro at the Ninth, Kiyone and Rukia had gotten everything of or pertaining to a paperwork nature ship-shape with no arguments, no fuss and no hilarious mishaps. The Thirteenth had gone from being his entertainment and his occasional source of frustration, to his well-run office and common source of boredom. Rukia, in particular, was so determined to prove herself as a potential officer that he found himself with less and less to occupy him as she sought to take on any extra duty she could. Frankly, Jyuushiro was tempted to try and shake some sense into his old pupil and force Byakuya to see that his adopted sister was neither frail nor helpless, but a regular spitfire who had the captains of the Third, Fifth and, to a lesser extent, the Sixth under her thumb. Hell, the woman had defeated one of the original Espada, served with distinction in the last war and had exquisite control of her Shikai, for crying out loud. If that didn't qualify her for at least a lieutenant's position already, then Jyuushiro suspected that her extended and concealed (from her brother, at any rate) training sessions with Ichigo and Renji would probably push her over the line. He wasn't sure how far his subordinate was from achieving Bankai but, judging from the reiatsu she only rarely let slip – she did have excellent restraint – Jyuushiro was certain that she was far closer than her 'Nii-sama' would feel comfortable with.

He could also blame Shunsui's lack of visits for dulling his office routine. Knee-deep in wedding preparations, Shunsui and Jyuushiro's time together had been mostly limited to Jyuushiro trying to restrain a man who was an inherent romantic with a deep and abiding love of pink from attempting a hostile takeover of the wedding plans and annoying his fiancée. This had met with mixed success. Nanao had finally agreed to a shower of rose petals for his entrance (but certainly not hers), but she drew the line at incorporating the hat into the ceremony. All of the mediating was something Jyuushiro was accustomed to, but being around a happy, if eccentric, couple constantly made him feel like a third wheel.

And Kami knew, those were only useful on tricycles and Jyuushiro was too old to ride one of them.

_Although, now that I think about it, I would hardly want to ride anyone involved in this analogy. _

_Well, now I'm just disturbed. _

_Deeply disturbed._

_At least Kurotsuchi-san hasn't noticed my suddenly queasy expression. I'd hate to have to try to explain this internal conversation – I'm no good at prevaricating and what little skill I have seems to disintegrate around her. But no, she's definitely too absorbed in her meditation to be aware of any evidence of derangement in me._

_Which I am profoundly grateful for._

It had become clear to him over the last few weeks that Nemu's fragile bond with her weapon had been the result of a lack of opportunity, not any lack of skill or co-operation between the two. As Nemu had simply stated, when she had been created and called forth her sword it had been immediately locked up, not to be seen again while her father was the captain of the Twelfth. She had gone on to point out that she had been pleasantly surprised that he'd left it behind and could only surmise that her father must not have felt her to be a threat. Her voice may have been calm while recounting this, but Jyuushiro could tell that the separation from what was, essentially, a part of her soul had hurt her deeply. He could see it in the way she was careful around her sword, clearly determined not to let it out of her sight at any point and nervous whenever he requested she put it aside.

Jyuushiro could barely hold back the overwhelming tide of rage whenever he saw this. He'd known she wasn't allowed to carry her sword, but he'd never made the connection to her having no contact with it at all. The thought of having that separation enforced between himself and Sogyo no Katawari at once chilled him to the bone and made him regret that he'd killed Mayuri Kurotsuchi so quickly.

Still, while he couldn't change the past, he could alter the present. It was with no mean measure of contentment that he watched Nemu bond with her weapon, either through their sparring or meditative conversation. She was improving in leaps and bounds, and Jyuushiro felt that it was time to begin the real part of her training – working with her Shikai. Thus far, he'd been working with her on her technique – not that she really needed improvement, but practice was never unwelcome – and attempting to improve both her stamina and his own. She, of course, created to reflect perfection as she was, could only be described as exceptional. Her grace in battle seemed to exceed his expectations every time, and more than once Jyuushiro had found himself caught out and defeated because he had let his attention stray to that, rather than the weapon in her hand.

That strange reaction aside, he had surprised himself with his own vigour. His health hadn't been this minor an issue for centuries at least, and he couldn't help but wonder that if having someone who clearly depended on him for help had contributed to that. True, Rukia had much of that same helplessness when she had first arrived at the Thirteenth, but he had always known that, despite Byakuya's seemingly indifferent attitude, her older brother would step in if she ever needed assistance. Nemu Kurotsuchi, though, had no one to rely on like that. Oh, the woman had friends, more than he'd thought, but none of them were really in a position where they would be willing or, as was more the case, able to help her unconditionally.

Apparently, he realised, he was becoming both willing and able.

Just not in the way Shunsui would suggest.

Ignoring that train of thought, Jyuushiro focussed on the young woman before him as she sat unnaturally still, naked blade perched in her lap. The gentle breeze around them toyed with her hair, occasionally blowing strands of her bangs into her face, but she made no move to indicate that she had noticed or was bothered by them. Indeed, her concentration was entirely on whatever conversation was taking lace in her inner world, her eyelids flickering swiftly as it all played out in her head. Abruptly, a small crease appeared between her brows as she bit her lip, worrying the soft flesh with her teeth as her frown deepened. Jyuushiro greeted that sight with a frown of his own.

_Something is clearly concerning her, and that cannot be good. I'm worried about her biting her lip, too. Should I snap her out of it? It'd be a shame if she hurt her mouth…_

It was a very nice mouth, too, he noted. Soft-looking full lips that appeared so dark against her skin, quirked so nicely into almost-smiles and –

That was the point that Jyuushiro realised he was staring at his pupil's mouth while she was meditating. Staring quite a bit, actually.

_Well that's just –_

_The heat. It's clearly getting to me. And I really shouldn't worry. I'm sure that Nemu-san and her mouth will be just fine. Very fine._

_Yes. Definitely the heat._

Ignoring the part of his mind that gleefully pointed out that he was already seated under a very shady tree, Jyuushiro shifted and decided to concentrate on the paperwork he'd brought out. When his pupil and her sword had finished communing, then the real work could begin.

Frowning again to himself, Jyuushiro flicked a glance back to the silent woman in front of him.

_All the same, I wonder what's going on in there._

xXx

The heat radiated off Nemu's desert world, rippling on the horizon as she walked forward to the one landmark her inner world contained – a vast, monolithic rock that she knew was concealing a small oasis.

The sun and heat didn't bother her – she'd been engineered to adapt her body temperature to her surrounds and her skin was not frail enough to burn even slightly. Indeed, the endless sands didn't bother her here, as they had in the Hueco Mundo of both her waking world and dreams. It was different, almost entirely so. The sands were red, not with blood, but with their own ochre hue. The sky changed regularly, depending on her mood. But it was the feel of the place that separated it firmly from the other desert in her mind. After the chill and dead steel of her father's lab and the quarters he had once kept her in, this place was warm, alive even, in contrast to the other desert in the world of the dead.

She was home.

A faint smile on her face, she flashed forward to her destination and slipped into the shadows the sun cast against her mountainous rock. Glancing around, she cautiously sniffed the air. The lack of landmarks and the shifting sand and sun here often disoriented her, but Nemu knew she could always find her sword spirit near water – and in a land devoid of it, any air that carried moisture was distinct. Firmly on the scent, she rounded the corner…

And came face to face with the amber eyes of an immense, snake-like dragon, whose lengthy body curled around the pool of water she had been looking for. The considerable wingless bulk shifted slowly with the creature's breath as it regarded her solemnly.

Nemu froze, unsure of her reception. The beast craned its neck forward; wide nostrils opening as it sniffed her up and down, blowing her hair free of its ties with a warm breath that almost knocked her back. The eyes narrowed, before the head whipped around to scratch at a wayward scale, the same colour as the dark sands. Eventually, the creature having decided that it had let her wait long enough, the dragon nonchalantly brought its snout back to face her, and made a noise that sounded almost… annoyed.

"You're late." The deep voice seemed to rumble forth from the earth itself.

Nemu relaxed, shaking her head. "I know. I am sorry, for what it is worth. And I am only eight minutes and sixteen seconds behind."

Settling back on its haunches, the dragon snorted to himself. "Ssstill late. And precision in all things isss important, especially if you want to command me properly."

With a confused frown, Nemu pointed out, "I just gave you the exact time I was delayed. How can that be construed as imprecise in any way?"

Her sword spirit responded to that with yet another snort, which had Nemu fighting back the urge to argue that, for a beast with such a history and supposed dignity, her dragon was falling far short of the mark. Still, no matter what form they took, Nemu was all too aware that zanpakuto had a mind of their own.

Unfortunately.

"If you were truly so, you'd be here on time. You are precise only in the trivial", the creature responded loftily. "Your ability to identify your own feelings with any accuracy, for example – that issss where you fail."

"I am precise in my work as a scientist", Nemu replied, with a frost that would have impressed Captain Hitsugaya. "And that can hardly be described as trivial."

"Ssssuit yourself. You are still avoiding the main point."

Her brows drawn in as she frowned, Nemu responded with no small amount of confusion. "My personal feelings are not so hard to classify. They don't exactly cover a great deal of ground, after all."

"Sssssshows what you know", was the tart reply. "Anyway", the dragon began as he raised his amber eyes to meet her green ones, "why were you late in the first place?"

"Oh." Nemu sighed. "Captain Ukitake seemed strange today. I was trying to reach you, but there was something in his reiatsu that distracted me."

"Figures. Your captain sssstrikes again."

Nemu's eyes closed as she silently counted to ten in her mind, the one concession she made to herself when she was annoyed or frustrated, and likely to respond in a way that indicated that. Calm achieved, she returned, "For the forty-third time – and that tally only includes this last week – he is not my captain. Kisuke Urahara is."

Instead of replying in its usual aggravating manner, the dragon simply queried, "Why do you think, then, that I call him your captain?"

Swallowing back her initial response (because you're obnoxious), Nemu canted her head to the left as she pondered this. It hadn't occurred to her that her sword spirit was motivated by a particular purpose, and the thought now made her curious.

_Why, indeed._

Aloud, she ventured, "I am not sure. Do you foresee a possible transfer into the Thirteenth? They are fully staffed now and if they required someone of my calibre for a position, Rukia Kuchiki is more than capable. She has not remained unranked because of her own abilities, I can assure you. And the Twelfth need me. Captain Urahara needs me, too. No, my skills are too specialised for me to fit elsewhere." Nemu considered his further. "Though, that being said, I do enjoy working with Captain Ukitake. Today's oddness aside, we are communicating better and I find him a pleasant conversationalist."

She shifted uncomfortably under the dragon's sudden scrutiny as its eyes bore into her, ears occasionally twitching back and forth. Without warning, he sighed, the long breath he released almost making Nemu lose her footing. "Sssstill thinking too literally but it's a beginning, I ssssuppose."

Before Nemu could contend that thinking logically was the only way to reach truth, he continued.

"You say your interactions are improving. How?"

Thinking back over the last few weeks, Nemu replied slowly, "He is not so nervous around me. Our training sessions are very involved, but when we return to the bounds of the Seireitei he will often tell me stories to keep me entertained. Sometimes he tells me about the academy when it first began, and about Captain Kyouraku and the mischief they've done. He asks me about the lab and about Momo, too. It reminds me of my father's interrogations, only there is no malice behind the questions and it appears that he just wants to find out about me. Which seems odd – what possible purpose could he have?" Nemu frowned, pushing her bangs back out of her face. "It doesn't make sense. There must be some over-arching reason. People don't just talk to me."

The dragon shifted in a manner that vaguely resembled a shrug. "Your friends do. Maybe he wantsss to be one."

"But, why?" Nemu was genuinely puzzled. "I can infer reasons for my friendships with everyone else, but not him. We don't have anything in common, unlike Momo and I. I suppose there is an element of a mentor-pupil relationship, and that did bring Nanao and I together. He has many friends already, though, why would he require me?"

"You underestimate yourssself." The sword spirit stared at his mistress sadly. "You have more to offer than you think. Maybe he jusssst likesss you. What other things does he talk about?"

"He's been talking about the wedding plans, too. Apparently Nanao-san has had some trouble keeping her fiancée in line." Nemu frowned. "I do not understand them. They seem to argue so much over trifles and are so very different, I wonder sometimes what will happen to their marriage."

The dragon sighed. "Have you ever heard the sayings 'love issss blind' or 'oppossssites attract'?"

"Of course, though not usually spoken with such sibilance." She shook her head. "It's ridiculous, though. Opposing forces create friction in any other case than that of magnets. And blindness is hardly something anyone would wish to experience when selecting a life partner."

"That's not entirely true", the dragon replied. The proverb refers to sssuperficial opposites. Your mentor and her lover have identical sssystems of belief and morality. They feel the same way about most thingsss. Their differences then balance each other out."

"I suppose", Nemu replied slowly. "They are far happier together than they are separately and, now that I think back, they have altered each other slightly for the better. Nanao-san is not so strict and uncompromising, and Captain Kyouraku has made more of an effort in the office lately. They are still very much themselves, but almost imperceptibly improved."

"Exactly." He nodded, apparently pleased that his wielder was starting to get it. "And in your case, for example, you are quiet, cold, closed-off and analytical."

"I wonder if Momo puts up with this from Tobiume", Nemu muttered, one eyebrow raised.

"I'm not done", her dragon replied, apparently unconcerned by her annoyance. "You would clearly require ssssomeone talkative, friendly, warm, open and more guided by their emotions. Ssssomeone like your captain, for example."

"Captain Urahara?" Nemu queried, only to receive an exasperated snort in response. "Well, then who – oh." She considered this. "When you put it like that, Captain Ukitake does fit the description. Of course, he is only my sensei."

"Of courssssse." The reply was so smooth, Nemu was almost tempted to call her sword spirit on it. Her dragon rarely agreed with her without at least adding his two cents worth. _Or penny's worth_, she thought to herself with a small smile, _though I consider his thoughts worth less than Captain Kyouraku's. I wonder if Captain Ukitake would agree with me._

Blinking, she realised that they had strayed from the subject at hand. "Be that as it may, you can hardly argue that love _should_ be blind."

"The proverb isn't literal. Lovers are aware of each others' faults – the difference isss that they love each other enough for those things not to matter. When people know what they are doing and truly love, they walk into relationships or marriage with that knowledge."

Tired of being lectured, Nemu replied a little testily, "Well, I wouldn't know. I've never been in love."

"No", her dragon replied mournfully, examining his paws and talons. "Perhapssss you might consider it. The oasis would look nice with a little more plant life."

A lesser woman might have gaped, but Nemu simply fought back the urge to roll her eyes the way Momo taught her, and murmured, "I'll keep it in mind. Kami forbid that you should be left uncomfortable. Any further pearls of wisdom to impart?"

She really shouldn't have given him an opening. Instantly, his head snapped back to face her. "Yessss, as it happens. Are you ssstill having dreams?"

She nodded, her frown back in place. "Yes. Every night."

"If I may make a suggesssstion, then, I would tell you to talk to your captain."

"But I already – oh." Nemu sighed. "Perhaps you should just call them by their names. You keep confusing me." Seeing the unrelenting expression on the spirit's face, Nemu capitulated. "Fine, I will consider it. Now, are you ready to start the real work? He wants me to use my Shikai this time."

"I have been ready sssince we first entered this place. Now wake up and let me have at it. Go on – get out." With a snort, her dragon rose up and lumbered off to Kami-knew where, dislodging a small shower of stones from the great rock that shaded them both.

"Nice talking to you, too", Nemu muttered to herself as she brushed the dirt and dust from her hair, slipping back into consciousness.

xXx

"Are you alright?" Jyuushiro peered at his companion with some concern. For a woman who typically kept her expressions under close wraps, it had shocked him to see how clear the annoyance was on her face.

Nemu blinked. "Oh. Nothing serious. Just… a minor aggravation."

Jyuushiro raised an eyebrow. "A disagreement with your zanpakuto?"

"No", she replied, rising from where she sat and dusting herself off.

He frowned, trying to recall the problems he had faced when dealing with his blade. "Did your sword spirit not wish to talk to you or help you?"

Nemu flicked a quick but disgruntled look at her weapon. "Oh no, he's happy to help. What he lacks, however, is the capacity to realise when his help is unwanted."

"Ah", Jyuushiro chuckled. "Let me know when you find a way to instil that capacity in him, would you? I think just about every shinigami wishes they could do that. He was lecturing you, I take it?"

"He was being obnoxious, as always", Nemu muttered, only to hear a biting tone reply – **Well, if I'm obnoxioussss, you're obtuse.**

She must have received some sort of response, Jyuushiro thought, because her head whipped around as she glared at her zanpakuto and whispered with more emotion than he had ever heard her speak, "I am _not. _And I refuse to be insulted by a glorified lizard."

An angered Nemu certainly was a sight. Her cheeks bloomed with colour as she fought back her rage, and her eyes seemed to spark in a way that made Jyuushiro's breath catch. Suddenly, he was in complete agreement with Shunsui – there was something enthralling about a woman enraged. Unlike Shunsui, however, he was not the recipient, for which he could only be grateful.

The disagreement, however, was continuing.

"Keep this up and I won't release you", Nemu murmured, hoping that Captain Ukitake was not paying too much attention to this.

**Don't be ridiculous. You'll do what sensei orders, **came the smug reply. **Unless you want to explain to him that you sssstarted it.**

"What? Don't be ridiculous. I didn't start - " Nemu broke off, the faint flush spreading across her cheeks as she realised that there was an interested audience to this debacle of a conversation. She closed her eyes as if gathering herself together, and took a deep breath. "My apologies, Captain. I didn't realise - "

"Don't stop on my account. It reminds me of a few very similar conversations I've had." He was grinning at her, and it felt strangely infectious. There was so much gentle good humour in his face, she couldn't help wanting to respond. Unfortunately, she had a disgruntled sword spirit yammering in her ear.

"Excuse me for a moment, then", she nodded to him, before returning to the fray. "You do realise that the longer we delay here, the less time you'll have out?"

Silence greeted this.

"Thought so", she couldn't help adding, a faintly smug note in her voice.

A smile still present on his features, Jyuushiro asked as he separated his blades, "All sorted?"

"In a manner of speaking", Nemu replied, readying herself.

"Excellent." Jyuushiro looked at her thoughtfully, before nodding to himself. "You have already done some work with your Shikai with Lieutenant Hinamori, yes?"

On receiving an affirmative reply, he continued. "Very well, then. The ground we are currently standing on is almost solid rock. I want you to activate your Shikai and demonstrate to me how you would attack with this soil. Don't hold back – I am more than capable of defending myself."

Taking a deep breath once more, Nemu stared down at her sword and muttered, "Behave". She held the blade out, point down, and called out the words that came so easily to her now.

"Quake, Chikyuu-kosshi!"

Jyuushiro watched as the power surged through her and her zanpakuto widened, the steel becoming thicker and sturdier. Without warning, she plunged the blade into the ground, and things started to get really interesting.

Great hulking boulders seemed to break out of the ground, rising slowly but steadily in a ring around the slender woman calling them forth. He watched, transfixed.

_The concentration and careful flow of reiatsu this would require is unbelievable! No wonder Kurotsuchi didn't want her near this weapon – she'd have been very near capable of ripping him limb from limb. I wonder – _

Except Jyuushiro apparently had no time for wondering. With a speed he had not expected, the rocks began to fly directly at him. Swiftly flash stepping, he dodged, weaving his way closer to his opponent, but it was clear that she had practiced this move often. He only narrowly avoided being hit several times – once she was so close that he could have sworn he felt a part of a rock brush past the tip of his ear. Nimbly, he zigzagged closer.

_The sword in the earth anchors her. If a can get behind her, she'll have difficulty turning to attack me…_

Ducking as another over-sized rock hurtled in his direction, he skidded to a stop, before launching himself behind her. As soon as his feet hit the ground, though, he could feel something was wrong.

The very earth was crumbling beneath his feet.

The rocks were still flying at him too. Dodging again, he hurled himself out of the miniature ravine she'd created, and began to attack, watching to see if she'd noted the change.

She had, of course.

The ground seemed to throw up obstacles wherever he stepped, and one slightly slower flash step almost had him running straight into a wall of rock. He managed to slide to a stop before impact, only to wheel around just as three more walls of the same earth burst up to cage him. He didn't need to look up to guess that the rumbling he heard above was a roof being put in place. Darkness reigned, and Jyuushiro was left scratching his head briefly.

Only briefly, mind.

Calling forth a blasting kido spell, he tore a hole through his temporary prison, slipping away in the opposite direction.

_She's good, I'll certainly give her that. But these are long-range techniques. Can she defend herself from an attack closer to home?_

Gathering himself, Jyuushiro stepped toward her, the ground beneath him slipping away. His swords ready, he charged –

Nemu shifted slightly, but that was all it took. The boulders she was throwing broke up, but they didn't stop there. Now in smaller pieces, they hurtled back to their mistress, stopping when they reached her and crashing together to form an extremely solid exoskeleton. By the time Jyuushiro reached her, she looked more like a large rock, than a shinigami.

And she was still managing to throw the other rocks at him.

With a delighted laugh, Jyuushiro signalled the end of the session.

_She clearly knows her stuff. This rock is the most common in the Seireitei, and she's used it to explore all of her techniques. _

_More to the point, I haven't had a sparring partner with such unique methods…_

_Well, ever._

"You can come out now, Kurotsuchi-san", he called, when the rock showed little sign of moving.

Slowly, Nemu let her armour fall away, straightening up gingerly. Instantly, Jyuushiro was all concern.

Resting a hand on her shoulder, he peered forward, his gaze fixed on her. "Are you quite alright? You're not moving as fluidly as you usually do?"

_He's observant, I'll give him that, certainly. And I don't feel quite right…_

It felt warm where she was, particularly the shoulder his hand rested on and her heart rate had accelerated slightly. She seemed suddenly full of a nervous sort of energy, and he was so very… close. He was worried, of course, and that was all there was to it, but he'd never been so near to her before. He had such sharp features – a long, straight nose, pointed chin and high cheekbones. It was an aristocratic face full of angles, but it was softened by his long, white hair, strands of which were currently brushing against her face. And his eyes reflected his emotions so clearly, despite their refusal to be classified by a single colour. Even this close, she still couldn't quite tell –

Nemu frowned to herself and pulled back, wincing slightly.

_Well… That was just strange._

Aloud, she replied, "I'm fine, just bruised. I was a little careless when forming my armour and some of the pieces hit me with a little too much force. I heal quickly, though. You needn't concern yourself."

He could see some of what she was talking about. An ugly purple bruise was forming on one of her legs already, and he cursed himself for not taking further precautions.

_I should have told her to use only what she was sure she could control. She may not have listened to me, but still…_

_Done is done. I can only try to make the rest of today's lesson comfortable._

"I think", he eventually murmured, "we should have a look at using rock as a weapon and defence." Motioning to her to sit down, he continued, "Can you tell me when you would be best of using this type of earth to attack?"

Nemu sat down beside him and lost herself in the theoretical discussion, her mind still racing. "Well, rock can be harder to manipulate and a little unwieldy, but it also has the weight to inflict damage and to shield…"

_Whatever my reaction to Captain Ukitake was, I am sure it was just an anomaly. I'm best off ignoring it._

**Really? **The smug voice was back. **I thought you enjoyed invessstigating anomalies. I thought they were more interesssting.**

_Leave it alone – it has nothing to do with you and it is of no importance either way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of talking to Captain Ukitake._

Ignoring a muttered '**oblivious**', Nemu returned to thinking about rock, which may not have been quite as interesting as anomalies, but it al least made an abundance of sense.

xXx

**Chikyuu-Kosshi is another loose interpretation (ie. Online translator used by a woman with next to no knowledge of the Japanese language) and means 'Earth's bones'. Maybe.**

**Things – they are getting interesting.**

**R and R, y'all!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Today's disclaimer is brought to you in haiku form:**

**Tite Kubo owns**

**the brilliance that is Bleach.**

**I merely want to.**

**Yes, brilliance is three syllables. No, I have nothing better to do. If I can be bothered, the next one will be in iambic pentameter.**

**Listening to: Blakroc – 'Ain't no one like you (Hoochie Coo)' and Florence and the Machine – 'Howl'. **

Chapter Seven

Her own screams woke her up again, and she stumbled blindly to the bathroom to regurgitate what hadn't yet been digested of her dinner. Splashing water on her face once her stomach had settled, she looked up and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

The face there was so different to her father's. There were no stitch scars, and her features were elfin and slight when compared to his own strong nose and chin, so often hidden under paint. True, her chin had that same point to it, but her colouring was entirely different, her eyes were wider, gentler and more melancholy and under the skin…

Reaching out with a shaking hand to carefully trace the features shown in the mirror, the same reassuring creed that she went over every night ran through her head – _I am not him. I am not a traitor. I would never hurt any of them – not Momo, or Nanao-san or Yachiru-san or Nel-san. Not Captain Urahara or Lady Yoruichi or Captain Kyouraku. Not Captain Ukitake. _

Still shaking, she drew back from the mirror.

_I am not a murderer. I am not my father._

Sleep was elusive that night, yet again.

xXx

They were getting worse.

Not the content – in that respect the dreams hadn't altered at all. In fact, Nemu had been at a loss to understand why her nightmare suddenly affected her even more deeply, until she had realised that the answer was obvious. The change was not in the dream but, as she concluded after a week of serious thought, in her own feelings. No longer was the close of her dream simply about her father tormenting her with their similarities; it had become a form of torture as she was forced to watch as a captain she had come to admire and care for was cruelly slaughtered. Captain Ukitake wasn't just a member of the Gotei Thirteen who was kind to her and had happened to kill her father, but was now her sensei and friend and, changing to fit this new relationship, her grief and horror wasn't that of an almost stranger anymore, but something bound deep inside of her that had her very nearly in tears when she woke. Needless to say, this epiphany had been applauded by Chikyuu-Kosshi gleefully (insufferably) as evidence that she was "starting to undersssstand her feelings". Also needless to say, Nemu had proceeded to think something very cutting back in her sword's general direction.

Understanding her feelings wasn't helping her sleep at night. The exasperating creature that was, unfortunately, a part of her soul kept suggesting that she talk to "her captain" and Nemu was so tired it was almost sounding like a good idea. Still, she wasn't sure that her tentative friendship with Captain Ukitake was quite ready for the 'So, I dream about betraying and killing everyone' conversation (as Momo had bluntly termed it. In company, they simply used the acronym SIDABAKE and confused any listeners). Captain Ukitake was intelligent, kind and understanding, but Nemu knew her history of blind obedience to her father was not exactly going to lead to a dream interpretation that did not involve her being a threat.

She had to hope, though. Kami knew, her ability to go without much sleep was being stretched to the limit and she was fast running out of ideas as to how to fix it; talking to Captain Ukitake was, in fact, the only real notion she (or, rather, her zanpakuto) had come up with that wasn't entirely ridiculous. Nemu held back, though, a nagging feeling in the back of her mind. She wasn't used to caring about someone's opinion – her friends had been solidly determined to support her no matter what since the beginning of said friendship, so there was no fear of doing or saying anything that could drive them away. Anyone else had typically not counted. Yet, Nemu was hard pressed to describe her nervousness as the product of anything but this phenomenon. It was clear that she cared what Captain Ukitake thought of her, and clearer still that she feared to tell him about her dreams because of this. After considerable thought, she could only conclude that she did not wish to run the risk of him avoiding her and essentially walking out of her life.

This bothered her.

Their friendship was still new and tentative – too much so to induce this strong a reaction. But the very thought of not being able to continue seeing and training with Captain Ukitake actually depressed her and whenever she thought of it the signs were all there; feelings of lethargy and listlessness, a melancholy outlook, and a decrease in serotonin. She had monitored herself carefully and the results could not be faulted, but her conclusions confused her. She could have understood this as a reaction to Momo or Nanao backing away from her and refusing to see her; these women were her oldest and closest friends. Perhaps that was it – she had so few friends that she was forced to bond deeply with those she succeeded making. That theory still didn't explain all her data, though. While she had classified Captain Ukitake's relationship to her as both friend and sensei, much like Nanao had been, there were anomalies that wouldn't be explained away. Her heart rate did not escalate when Nanao smiled at her, nor was she so acutely aware of Nanao's body when it neared her own. There was no trace of that urge to let her fingers reach out and skim along high cheekbones or broad shoulders with Nanao, and Nemu wasn't entirely sure that was because Nanao lacked those particular attributes. She had considered consulting her sword spirit about this, but Chikyuu-Kosshi had caught one glimpse of her questions and had immediately started laughing at her, which had abruptly ended that line of inquiry.

Still, maybe Momo could help…

xXx

Jyuushiro was not a man who lied to himself. However, he was also not a man who was willing to admit when his best friend was annoyingly correct. These two instincts had now been warring within him for some weeks and he was finding himself forced, more and more, toward facing the fact that perhaps, just maybe, there might have been something in Shunsui's original interpretation of Jyuushiro's interest in Nemu Kurotsuchi. As much as he had initially tried to find excuses for watching her, there was only so much staring you could attribute to the heat, absence of mind or looking at something directly behind her. The fact was that Nemu had captured his interest, in a way that few women ever had, and didn't seem to want to let it go.

Not that it was deliberate on her part.

And not that he was telling Shunsui that.

Unfortunately, his fellow captain seemed to have an inbuilt radar or absurdly sharp reiatsu sensor that informed him of his best friend's feelings, because Shunsui was now spending most of their time together giving him meaningful and not even vaguely subtle looks. Which Jyuushiro was determinedly ignoring.

So, maybe his interest in his student had broadened from her motivations, to just her in general. And, perhaps, while he had originally denied all such feelings, he _had_ made that statement before he'd gotten to know her and discovered he enjoyed talking to her, with her frankness and curiosity, or before he had seen her hold back a smile successfully from her face, but less successfully from those surprisingly expressive green eyes. All these things considered, therefore, he hadn't lied to Shunsui – at the time his interest had been purely based on curiosity, something they apparently had in common. Still, if Shunsui asked him now…

Well, Jyuushiro would be rapidly changing the subject.

As he sat in Shunsui and Nanao's lounge room, avoiding eye contact with a certain someone and chatting nonchalantly (as much as he was able) to Coyote Stark who reclined next to him, he had the distinct feeling that such a subject change would be necessary to employ shortly. In fact…

"Jyuu-kun", Shunsui began with a grin that, in the current situation, was utterly terrifying, "You haven't told me much about how your delightful pupil is progressing. Nanao tells me her improvement is spectacular."

Jyuushiro considered his response very carefully.

_Play it safe. Dodge the question, and he'll think he's onto something. Best keep it innocuous. And remember – Shunsui is my best friend. Try not to act like I'm attending an interrogation._

_However much it resembles one._

He smiled back. "Kurotsuchi-san is an adept swordswoman and an excellent pupil. The only thing standing in the way of her progression before was a lack of adequate teaching, not any failing on her part. Naturally, she's advanced by leaps and bounds."

Shunsui raised an eyebrow. "Still calling her Kurotsuchi-san? Jyuu-kun, when did you get so formal?"

_I will not strangle him. Nanao would be distraught, and then enraged and kido-wielding. Besides, it isn't exactly his fault I'm… what, exactly? I have a student. She's an intelligent, beautiful and unique woman, and I happen to notice that about her. A lot_.

Clearing his throat, Jyuushiro replied, "I just think it important to maintain professional boundaries." _Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Shun._

"Is that a dig at Nanao and I?" The gleam in Shunsui's eyes was at odds with the offended expression on his face. Next to Jyuushiro, Stark was either having a very subtle seizure, a silent coughing fit, or was attempting not to burst out laughing.

Jyuushiro knew which he'd put money on.

"Of course not. Not only have you never believed in any sort of boundaries, but you and Nanao are different."

_Nanao is clearly interested in you, for starters. Kurotsuchi-san… Nemu treats me with the same distant friendliness as she treats most people._

_Oh Kami. That actually bothers me, doesn't it? _

"Ah", Shunsui responded with a noise that indicated he had achieved some form of enlightenment. "So we're different from you and Nemu-san?"

Through gritted teeth, Jyuushiro snapped back, "There is no me and Nemu-san. Nemu-san and I. Either, or. She's just currently my student and a fellow member of the Gotei Thirteen."

_Who I am apparently in 'like' with, if such a state exists_.

His eyes wide and innocent, Shunsui simply stated, "I never suggested such a thing, Jyuu-kun. However, it's clearly been playing on your mind. Do you want to talk about - "

Jyuushiro's limited control vanished, as he hurled a couch cushion at his friend's face and delighted in the solid _whump_ when it connected. Ignoring the strangled 'Not the hat!' from one side of the room, and the chuckling that was Stark giving in to his urge to laugh on the other, Jyuushiro ground out, "Why I am friends with you is beyond me."

"Well", Stark drawled when his laughter slowed, "you _are_ both part of centuries-old noble houses, if on different tiers. I'd blame centuries of inbreeding. It explains his idiocy and your poor decision making and taste in friends."

"Whose side are you on?" Shunsui muttered to himself. "You're _my_ groomsman."

"I'm on the side of entertainment", Stark deadpanned, "which you are both, at present, providing."

Jyuushiro snorted. "My mission in life."

Dusting his hat off, Shunsui decided to try a different approach. "Seriously, Jyuu. If you need to talk - " A glare silenced him. Letting out the sigh of the long-suffering best friend, Shunsui continued, "Well, the offer is there."

"And being ignored", Jyuushiro growled under his breath.

"Drop it, Shun", Stark added with a grin. "Poor Jyuushiro looks like he's about to have a conniption."

"Don't you start!"

"Start what?" A quietly curious voice broke in, and Jyuushiro's head whipped around to the door before he could stop himself, just in time to see Nemu, Nanao and Rangiku Matsumoto enter the room.

_Great. Just great. Because what Shun really needed was ammunition._

Still, he couldn't quite bring himself to look away, especially when she was standing there, her head canted to one side and a tiny smile on her face as she looked at him, her eyes alive with questions. His view, unfortunately, was blocked by something large and pink, as Shunsui strode over to his fiancée and her friends and greeted them – Nanao with a lengthy kiss and the other two lieutenants with a casual arm about the shoulders. Jyuushiro restrained the urge to tell Shunsui to keep his hands to himself; there may have been nothing at all untoward about the big-brotherly way he half-hugged Nemu, but that didn't mean Jyuushiro had to like it. He narrowed his eyes at Shunsui, hoping his friend would get the message, only to realise that Stark was watching him, a very knowing look on his face.

Jyuushiro hastily pretended he'd gotten something in his eye.

As Shunsui lead the women around to the couch, Nemu chose to query again, "What was being started?"

Before Jyuushiro could prevent what was sure to be a disaster, Stark smoothly replied, "Oh, just Shunsui teasing Jyuushiro a little. Nothing new."

_Crisis averted. Thank Kami, Shun didn't answer._

Nemu, on the other hand, was now rather confused. While she was familiar with the concept of friendly teasing, thanks to Momo, her sensei looked somewhat disgruntled and more than a little alarmed. Deciding this clearly needed further exploration, she asked, "What about?" as she settled herself beside Jyuushiro, aiming her slight smile in his direction.

It wasn't anywhere near as expressive as the grins of most of her fellow SWA members, but Nemu's small smile had the effect of lighting up her elfin face. It also had the unintentional side-effect of leaving Jyuushiro feeling somewhat dazed and utterly unable to come up with a plausible reason for being teased that didn't reveal things he would prefer remained hidden.

_Crisis apparently not averted at all. Think, dammit! She's just smiling, not preventing higher brain function; it shouldn't be that hard –_

Stark once again broke in. "Oh, just about his best man duties and lack of date for the wedding. Nothing too terrifying, I assure you."

_Stark, you are my new best friend. Take that, Shun!_

Nemu frowned at this, and then shrugged. "That is hardly something to be ashamed of. I don't have a date either. Besides, as I understood it, as a bridesmaid I am to sit at the bridal table with Rangiku-san. Any date I brought would be left on their own." Not that she had a date to bring. It normally didn't bother her, but there _was_ a part of her that wanted that to change. It was that same part that had her occasionally watching Captain Urahara and Lady Yoruichi, or Captain Kyouraku and Nanao-san wistfully.

"Well", Stark murmured thoughtfully, a smile on his face that was disturbingly Shunsui-like, "perhaps you and Jyuushiro should go together."

If Jyuushiro hadn't looked pale before, he was fairly sure that all blood was now gone from his face.

_…Stark, I clearly promoted you too soon. Dammit._

_I like that idea a little too much. Shunsui would be unbearable, of course, but…_

_Worth it._

All eyes were now trained on him, but it was the wide, deep green pair that he sought out. They were unsure, almost waiting for rejection, and perhaps that was why his immediate response was to smile widely at her and announce that he'd love to.

xXx

A lieutenant's wages were more than adequate for any but an exceptionally high standard of living, but Nemu still sought financial security with a hunger that had come from an existence constantly out of her control.

Thus, a second job.

Captain Urahara was, in a way, also responsible for this. Over a year ago now, he'd thrown a living world party in one of the Shihoun clan's many warehouses. The result had been such a hit, that Lady Yoruichi had made it a permanent fixture on the club scene, and the profits from 'Death and the Strawberry' (Captain Kurosaki was still lobbying for a name change) were even been rumoured to be what had restored the Shihoun clan to their former glory.

Not that most Shihoun's would ever admit it.

Nemu had volunteered to assist her captain that first night, and had thoroughly enjoyed herself. With her impeccable memory and excellent reflexes, she was apparently not only an excellent lab worker and scientist, but also a gifted bartender. No one had been more surprised than her, but she had decided to continue her work at the club, finding it soothing and a nice way to wind down after a day in the lab.

It also provided ample opportunities to people watch.

On any given night, Nemu could see Captains Abarai and Kuchiki in deep conversation at a booth across the room, and observe the way their eyes lingered on one another, or she could watch as Rukia Kuchiki nagged Captain Kurosaki to dance with her. He always agreed with exceedingly bad grace, but the second the petite shinigami's back was turned he would grin to himself in a manner that Momo referred to as goofy. She could spot Captain Hisagi trying and failing to hold his alcohol as Rangiku-san laughed at him and Kira and Momo, arms entwined, stared at each other, off in a world of their own.

Momo spotted her over Kira's shoulder and waved, pulling her partner toward the bar as she made her way to Nemu. In response, Nemu immediately began to mix their favourite drinks; a Fruit Tingle for Momo and a neat scotch for Kira, and smiled to herself. Of all the uses her father could have ever come up with for the photographic memory he had given her, she had a feeling that memorising cocktail recipes was not one he had thought of, or would approve of.

That may have been a contributing factor to how much she enjoyed her job. Her father no longer controlled her life except, perhaps, in dreams, but there was something immensely satisfying in doing what she wasn't supposed to.

"Hey!" Momo grinned as she leaned over the bar to hug her friend. "How was Nanao's? Wedding practice times sorted?"

Nemu nodded. "Indeed. And… some new developments. Apparently, I now have a date."

Kira, who had been sipping his drink slowly while listening to their conversation, almost choked, and Momo responded by whipping her head around to glare at him. He raised his hands in defence. "I'm not saying anything! I just didn't know you dated, Kurotsuchi-san."

"I won't blame you for your evident shock", Nemu replied dryly. "I didn't know I did either, until three hours ago."

"Huh." Momo frowned in confusion until something caught her eye. "Well, that's certainly new. Kira", she turned to him in supplication, "can you watch my drink? I need to help Rangiku put Shuuhei-sempai back in his seat." Turning to Nemu, she raised an eyebrow. "I'll deal with you and your dating shenanigans later."

Nemu's lips quirked. "Be still my beating heart."

Momo's temporary disappearance left her and Kira in a tête-à-tête that was definitely uncharted territory for both of them. Nemu's eyes narrowed. She rather liked Kira, and she liked him even better for Momo, but she was Momo's best friend and there were certain responsibilities that came with the job…

"Izuru-san?"

Kira put down his drink, his blue eyes inquisitive. "Yes, Kurotsuchi-san?"

With a deep breath, Nemu began the speech she had rehearsed. "A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. So allow me to make this clear: if you ever hurt Momo intentionally, I will end you. Painfully."

Kira froze for several seconds, the only movement in his face the rapid blinking of his eyes until he spoke.

"Right. Huh… intentionally?"

Nemu shrugged. "I do not expect you to be perfect. People hurt each other without realising what they're doing all the time. I do, however, expect you to treat Momo with the respect, kindness and affection she deserves."

He was taking it better than she'd thought. Nodding sharply, he smiled to himself. "Fair enough. I really wouldn't expect anything less from a friend of Momo's. The ending me thing could be a problem, though. You're really going to have to get in line. I've already had versions of this speech from Rangiku, Shuuhei, Renji and Captain Hitsugaya."

Nemu smiled back. "Yes. But I move faster."

Kira raised an eyebrow. "Oh joy. Something to look forward to. Anyway, if you're planning to cut short my existence, shouldn't we at least be on first name basis?"

"Touché." She regarded him for a moment, before nodding. "I knew I liked you, Kira-san."

He laughed. "It appears to be mutual. Anyway, I should get the drinks back to the table and send Momo over for this date talk."

Nemu shook her head, smile still fixed on her face as she called out after him, "It's not as impressive as it sounds."

"Oh, I'm sure it is", another, very familiar voice cut in. Nemu turned around to face –

**Your captain**_**, **_her sword spirit threw in, in a voice that oozed smug satisfaction.

_Go away, _Nemu thought firmly. _It's hard enough to talk to Captain Ukitake without you interfering. _

**I thought you were interacting in an easier fasssshion. That's what you told me lasssst week.**

_Yes, well I have something of a delicate matter to discuss with him. So leave it alone, Chikyuu-Kosshi. I don't feel like navigating two conversations at once._

She had that far away look in her eyes that heralded a zanpakuto conversation, Jyuushiro noted, and because of that, her smile had faded. As far as he was concerned, while that was a crying shame, she still looked breathtakingly lovely. Her tight black jeans displayed her lovely legs to perfection; something he'd missed since she had elected to wear the official hakama rather than her skirt. She wore a buttoned, fitted shirt the same deep green as her eyes and had rolled the sleeves up, displaying pale but strong arms. Usually bound, her dark hair fell in a sheet to her waist, carefully pinned near her bangs to keep it out of her face as she poured –

"Oh, I didn't tell you what I want - " His protest was cut short as she placed his favourite drink directly in front of him. "…Thank you. How did you know?"

"Canadian Club and Coke, reasonably light on the Coke?" Nemu frowned, biting her bottom lip. "How does anyone know anything? In my case, photographic memory. I know what everyone drinks, so long as I've made it before. If I haven't, then I've read sufficient materials about cocktails to be able to recall the recipe."

"Impressive." He really didn't know what to say to that, so he contented himself with taking a sip of his drink. It was perfectly mixed, of course. He watched her as she moved around the bar and realised that, as lovely as she was in stillness, it was when she moved that you really saw her. Every move was fluid, with a grace that reminded him of how ink slid through water, and she was clearly in her element here, throwing glasses around and juggling multiple orders. Belatedly, he realised as she walked over to chat to Momo Hinamori, he was supposed to be keeping an eye out for Shunsui and, failing that, certainly not eyeing off his student. One hand curled around his drink, Jyuushiro reached into his back pocket and fished out the book he was partway through.

"So…?" Momo began as soon as Nemu reached her.

"You are going to be disappointed by the simple story behind it all", Nemu warned, amused by her friend's eagerness on her behalf. "All that is happening it that Captain Ukitake and I were the only members of the bridal party who were without dates. It was decided we should go together."

"Really." There was still a definite smile on Momo's face, and Nemu was abruptly reminded of her sword spirit.

"Do you know something I don't?"

Momo froze, looking almost guilty. "Not exactly. I just think… Well, you're not displeased by this, are you?"

Nemu frowned. She hadn't failed to notice the putout expression on Captain Ukitake's face when the question had initially been asked. He'd covered it up well, but Nemu was left with the nagging feeling that, perhaps, she was not a partner he would have contemplated. Which rankled, for some reason. Still… "Of course not. I enjoy Captain Ukitake's company very much. I am concerned that he may have felt unable to refuse, given the situation, so I will ask him if he is truly willing. I must admit, though, I would be disappointed if he refused."

Momo was still smiling. "I thought so."

There was definitely something going on here, and it wasn't like Momo to hide things from her. "Are you sure you don't know something?"

"Ahhh, let's just say this is a thing you have to work out for yourself." Momo was out and out grinning now.

Nemu raised an eyebrow. "That's just ridiculous."

Her best friend chuckled. "I know it sounds like that now, but I don't want to influence you in anyway and put something into your head that isn't there. Feelings are tricky like that. It'll make sense when you figure it out."

"Still ridiculous", Nemu insisted. "I am perfectly capable of sorting through my feelings." Ignoring the snort that echoed in the back of her mind, she continued, "A hint?"

Without warning, Momo turned to look down the bar at where Captain Ukitake was sitting. "Hmmm… Living world clothes really do suit him, don't they?"

They did. Nemu had known he looked good in black, but his dress shirt seemed to be fitted in a manner precisely design to show off his physique and his faded blue jeans clung to a pair of long legs. He was not a brawny man, by any stretch of the imagination, but he had a tall, lean strength to him, and Nemu was forced to admit that he was a rather superb specimen. And yet, saying it to herself felt strange. It shouldn't have – it was nothing but an impartial observation. But, for some reason, admiring Jyuushiro Ukitake's body seemed to have the same effect on her as being near to him did; she had that same, coiling nervous energy in the pit of her stomach, and she was suddenly finding it difficult to concentrate on anything else. The accelerated heartbeat was back, too, and the shortness of breath. He must have sensed her staring, because he looked up from his book and smiled at her broadly, raising a strong, long-fingered hand, and it felt a little like the time she had tested electrodes for her father, that faint shock that seemed to rip through her too fast for classification.

Blinking, she turned back to Momo. "I feel… decidedly odd."

"Oh, I bet you do."

Nemu was even more confused than she had been when this conversation started. "Was that my hint, or just your really unsubtle way of changing the topic?"

"Not telling", Momo sang, laughing. "If you haven't figured it out in a week, I'll help, but I think you'll get there. You're a scientist after all, and this is biology." She cocked her head to the left, grinning. "Or chemistry. Now go talk to him."

Shaking her head, Nemu left that all-too-confusing chat behind, and trotted off to refill Captain Ukitake's drink.

xXx

"Reading in a bar?" The gentle, lilting voice he had come to love listening to broke in on his reverie.

Raising his head to meet Nemu's eyes, Jyuushiro smiled. "Waiting for Shunsui, actually. He just has a very fluid concept of time, so I've learned to pack reading material."

"Sensible." She held out a hand tentatively. "May I?"

He handed it over, informing her, "It's an old favourite of mine and - "

She had an odd expression on her face. "Dostoyevsky? Really?"

"What do you have against Fyodor?" Jyuushiro's voice was horror-struck even as he inwardly rejoiced. He'd never heard her volunteer a strong opinion before like this. "He's a master of Russian litera - " The expression recurred, even stronger. "Russian literature too?" He shook his head and intoned gravely, his eyes sparkling with mirth, "Kurotsuchi-san, I despair of you. What's wrong with Dostoyevsky?"

Nemu gave in to the urge to roll her eyes. "He has five roles for women, and none of them have any depth."

"Really?" This was new to Jyuushiro. He frowned. "What are they?"

Ticking them off on her fingers as she went, Nemu intoned, "Spoilt rich girls who aren't such bad people underneath, fallen women with the souls of angels, greedy elderly peasant women, idiotic middle-aged, middle-class women and docile, married women. Name one deviation from these models."

He couldn't. "Still, you can't write them all off completely. What about Tolstoy?"

"Overly-moral and too prosy."

"Nabokov?"

"Labours the point."

"Pasternak? You can't tell me you hate 'Doctor Zhivago'." He tried to look beseeching, but he was enjoying himself too much to add the appropriately pitiful expression.

"I can and will", she responded, a smile starting to flicker on her face. "I honestly believe I would have enjoyed that book more if I had attempted to eat it."

He laughed out loud at that one, wiping tears from his eyes as he returned, "Blasphemer."

She was definitely smiling now. "Perhaps. I will, however, concede Solzhenitsyn to you, though."

"Generous of you", he replied, grinning. "And your tastes run to?"

She looked thoughtful. "More modern, I suppose. Heller, Vonnegut, Chandler. Graham Greene, too."

"Hmmm." It had been a long time since Jyuushiro had found someone who read as widely as he did. Shunsui, while certainly educated, leant more toward poetry, and impassioned discussion had never been his forte, unless you were female and the object of said discussion. He was thoroughly enjoying this. "Tell me we can at least agree on Austen?"

"We can", Nemu assented. "Even if I suspect you are also a fan of Dickens."

She was right, as usual. "No comment. So, favourite Bronte?"

"Anne. Thomas Hardy?"

"I suspect you'll hold it against me too, but yes. Virginia Woolf?"

"Sometimes. Henry James?"

"Rarely. Sylvia Plath?"

"Always."

It was very hard to think when she smiled at him like that, especially when her eyes lit up with interest. Desperately casting around for a response, he eventually came up with, "Well, at least we'll have plenty to talk about at the wedding. I'll admit, I'm curious to hear what else you disapprove of."

"About that", Nemu broke in quickly, seeing her chance. "I realise that you were put in a position today where refusal was not possible, but if you do not wish to partner me for the wedding, I do not mind."

Jyuushiro blinked. "Oh. Well, I was telling the truth – I'd be happy to." A very unfortunate thought occurred to him. "Unless you don't want to - "

"Oh no, I'd be happy to as well", Nemu replied hurriedly, surprised by just how true the words sounded. It was the case, though, she realised. She could not think of a single member of the Gotei Thirteen she would prefer to go with, except maybe Momo.

He gave her a broad grin, as he slipped his book back from beneath her fingertips. "You have customers."

"So I do." She nodded to him and slipped off, telling herself that she was serving quickly to dissipate the crowd, not just because she wanted to return to the conversation.

Jyuushiro almost hoped that Shunsui was delayed as long as possible. There was something very soothing about watching the graceful way Nemu manned the bar, and the topics raised were far superior to constat teasing. And she seemed more relaxed here, away from the critical eyes of most of the Gotei Thirteen. He'd been right, this was her element. When she finally came back, he raised that with her. "You know, it seems odd, you working in a bar. But now that I see it, it makes sense."

Nemu smiled as she wiped down the counter. "It's like chemistry, really. Mixing liquids into specific concoctions to create various flavours. Do not mistake me – I love my work with the Twelfth. I didn't always, but now, I cannot imagine doing anything else. But this… It relaxes me. It's the work in the lab, without the potential combustion factor."

"I can see the appeal", Jyuushiro remarked dryly, as a low, melodious laugh escaped her lips. The urge to get up and dance was almost overwhelming, but his celebration remained internal.

_I made her laugh! Not at me, but with me, thank Kami. And she looks beautiful when she laughs – she just lets all the tension she holds go._

_Clearly, I should make a_ _habit of this._

Nemu, however, was continuing. "It's night work, too, which is good. It helps take my mind off my lack of sleep."

Jyuushiro frowned. "Why don't you sleep?"

She paused, suddenly reviewing her words.

_I did not intend to mention that. Still, it does present an opportunity…_

Gazing at the man who had been laughing alongside her only minutes ago, Nemu made a choice. Taking a deep breath, she began.

"I've had nightmares since the Captain Soi Fon returned from Hueco Mundo and we found out the war wasn't as over as we had hoped. They occur every night, without fail."

Any joy he may have felt over being confided in was overshadowed by his concern. "So you don't really sleep, do you? That's not healthy at all. Have you - "

"I have consulted anyone and everyone I can", Nemu explained. "Neither Captain Unohana or my own captain have been able to help me."

"Oh." Jyuushiro shook his head. "Even Retsu can't find anything? That's…" He exhaled slowly. "That's not good. At all. If you don't mind me asking, what are the dreams about?"

She'd come too far to back out now. "I am in Hueco Mundo. I'm surrounded by the dead, usually people I care about. I…" She broke off, looking lost, before progressing in a quiet voice. "There's so much blood."

Before he could stop himself, he'd reached forward to cover one of her delicate hands, resting on the bar, with his own. She didn't flinch away from the sudden contact, but her head snapped up, and suddenly he was staring into stormy green eyes that seemed to shift and change with emotion in front of him. "Keep going", he whispered.

Except, she couldn't. She felt strange and breathless again, and she knew it had nothing to do with the material. She'd gone over this nightmare countless times to her captain without any such reaction. His hand felt rough, sword calloused above hers, but warm, gentle and –

_Concentrate. I need to concentrate._

_But it feels too strange, too… intimate, I suppose, to tell him I dream of him every night, even if it is his death._

_Leave it, then. It's not crucial._

Clearing her throat, she continued. "My father is there, alive. He puts any survivors to death, and tells me I am responsible, that I have betrayed and killed them all. Then I see the blood on my hands." She trailed off, waiting silently for his response. When it came, it was not what she expected.

"I could lie to you, you know." Jyuushiro's face was deadly serious. "I could claim that you have nothing in common with your father, but that's not true. You're abrupt. You're brilliant and methodical. You could live comfortably in a lab. You work off your own logic and ignore those who don't understand you. But it's the differences that define you, what you have that he didn't. You have a sense of compassion. You're capable of love and of forming bonds with others. You take no pleasure in seeing others in pain. And that's what's important. That's what tells me you could no sooner betray and hurt the people you love than you could…"

He trailed off at that. "Actually, I'm not sure what exists that you can't do, at this point."

A ghost of a smile had returned to her face. "Appreciate Dostoyevsky."

"Ah. Touche. But your dream is based on a fear that makes no sense. You're not your father, not even close, and you would never commit his crimes."

Her hand was still in his, and her eyes still locked on his own. "You really believe that, don't you?" There was a sense of wonder in her voice, of hope.

Jyuushiro offered her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "I really do."

And it was then, as he was hoping that Shunsui had actually forgotten their meeting entirely so that he could stay like this, that the hell butterfly floated down onto the bar and a familiar voice blared out –

"Attention all Gotei Thirteen personnel. This is Captain Soi Fon, currently stationed in the West 63rd requesting immediate backup." There was a pause, before the words came that they had been waiting for and dreading.

"It's begun."

xXx

**ZOMG. So, our suburb's internet failed and couldn't be fixed until post-Easter, which was smashing. So this is late, but uber-long to make up for it. I'm actually a little concerned by the length – my chapters keep getting longer. By the time I'm on the last one, it'll probably by terrifyingly unwieldy and a story in itself. **

**Anyhoo, if you want to read what's happening on Soi Fon's end, that chapter is in the companion story to this and will be posted shortly. All negative opinions on Russian literature expressed in this story are Nemu's, and only coincidentally mine (I swear!).**

**Momo and Nemu love acronyms and the 'vague disclaimer' line is from Buffy.**

**R and R, peace out. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Oh, sod off.**

**I know, it **_**is**_** dreadfully late. In my defence, uni said, 'Oh hey, I know what you need – at least two major assignments due every week for the next month. Yeah…'**

**To which my response was a strangled noise that reminded passers-by strongly of Chewbacca.**

**Sigh.**

**Listening to: Air – 'Dead Bodies' and Modest Mouse – 'Dashboard'.**

Chapter Eight

_And it was then, as he was hoping that Shunsui had actually forgotten their meeting entirely so that he could stay like this, that the hell butterfly floated down onto the bar and a familiar voice blared out – _

"_Attention all Gotei Thirteen personnel. This is Captain Soi Fon, currently stationed in the West 63__rd__ requesting immediate backup." There was a pause, before the words came that they had been waiting for and dreading._

"_It's begun."_

Snatching her hand from Jyuushiro's, Nemu stared at the hell butterfly, as silence descended on the bar.

Then, all at once, everyone snapped into action.

Concealed zanpakuto were whipped out of hidden sheathes, obscuring kido spells were shattered, and Nemu raised an eyebrow as Jyuushiro revealed the presence of his own weapon.

"You know", she pointed out, "You aren't supposed to bring those in here."

He looked down at his sword sheepishly, before something occurred to him. "And with your attachment to Chikyuu-Kosshi, do you really expect me to believe that your zanpakuto is nowhere on the premises?"

The corner of her mouth twitched, as she reached under the bar to pull out the aforementioned sword. "That's different. I'm staff."

"Of course", Jyuushiro muttered, staring at the chaos around him, before looking back at her. "As senior captain present, I need to get this lot in order. You coming?"

Stricken, she frowned. "I really shouldn't just leave this place. It's my responsi - "

Nemu was interrupted by the arrival of a black, orange and purple blur, one that yelled as it passed, "Get out there. I'll take care of this."

Jyuushiro smiled wryly. "Apparently the boss just gave you the night off." Taking a deep breath to settle himself, he rose from his seat and called out in a commanding voice, "Members of the Gotei Thirteen who, and I emphasise this, are sober enough for battle, with me. Zanpakuto out and ready – we don't know the extent of this attack yet. The rest of you get out and sober up; you'll be needed shortly, no doubt. This won't end tonight." As Nemu deftly leapt over the bar top to stand beside him, he cast her a small smile, only to catch the doleful expression on her face. Despite the fuller meaning of this development it seemed odd, given how long they'd waited for this moment, and how much of a relief it felt to finally be able to aim their efforts somewhere.

With a frown, he queried, "Are you alright?"

Nemu looked down at her weapon, lost in thought.

_Will I be allowed to fight this time? I want to prove myself and my loyalty, and I can only do that so much with the healers. But while my fellow lieutenants might accept me for the most part, those who don't know me so well –_

She caught a glimpse of a knot of unseated officers, eyeing her with outright hostility.

_Well, precisely. To them, I am nothing but my father's daughter._

Following Nemu's gaze, Jyuushiro spotted the source of this sudden withdrawal from the woman beside him. Her very spiritual pressure seemed to quail and fold in on itself as the leader of this particular pack glared at her ferociously.

Before he could stop himself, Jyuushiro heard the words slip out of his mouth, in a dangerously calm tone. "Is there a problem, gentlemen?"

His spiritual pressure should have warned them. It certainly warned Nemu, whose downcast eyes snapped up from the floor to regard him with an expression that was three parts concern and one part curiosity. Oblivious to the imminent disaster, the ringleader of this pack, a bulky fellow with a too-bright shade of blond hair, responded, "Ye can't seriously expect us t' follow the traitor's fucken doll. She ain't nothin' but - "

Whatever he had been about to call Nemu was lost, as his companions scattered away from him and he found himself faced with the pointy end of a long sword, held by centuries-old, immensely powerful captain.

Who was currently in a state of being best described as _livid._

"Firstly", Jyuushiro began, in a voice that echoed with a quiet menace, "you should be grateful. Lieutenant Kurotsuchi is more than capable of killing you with her bare hands. The fact that you have just insulted her and remained unscathed is due more to her mercy, than any particular merit on your part. Secondly, you do not have even the vaguest notion of what you are talking about. Your superiors have clearly elected to trust Lieutenant Kurotsuchi with a position of no little responsibility, and I think it could be successfully argued that they are better informed and more capable judges than yourself. It would behove you to remember that." His eyes narrowed as the shinigami in front of him shivered. "And finally, if I ever hear anything like that come out of your mouth again, Lieutenant Kurotsuchi's mercy will have become a non-issue, as you will have exhausted mine. Are we clear?"

His response was a whimper.

"Excellent." Sword still in hand, Jyuushiro turned to face the rest of the throng, his face grave. "Does anyone else have anything to add?"

As silence greeted this, Nemu blinked at her sensei – **your captain****, **her sword insisted – in shock as she attempted to sort through her own feelings. It felt almost as though her heart were beating so loudly it was audible to all, not just herself with her enhanced hearing, but she knew for a fact that the muscle's decibel output hadn't changed. She felt a rush, not only of gratitude as she had felt for him when her father died, but also of something else, something she couldn't put a name to. He was looking at her now, too, the solemn expression on his face at odds with the smile that lurked in his eyes, the one that seemed entirely aimed at her.

As lovely as she looked with that far-off expression, he needed her to come back to earth. Or, ideally, tell him what went on in that head of hers.

_And to think I offered her a penny for her thoughts once. I undervalued them. Hell, I undervalued **her.** That's certainly changed, though…_

_Still, this is hardly the time to contemplate it._

Hefting his sword and nodding to his fellow shinigami, Jyuushiro gave the order.

"Let's move out!"

xXx

At a certain point, when approaching a fight, directions are no longer needed. This could be due to a number of things – large explosions, immense spiritual pressure, visual confirmation of said fight, or Lieutenant Jeagerjacques enthusiastically yelling insults at the enemy in a voice with a tendency to carry.

This particular battle featured all four.

As soon as the shinigami left the bar, they could feel the reiatsu surrounding the fight, in a manner not dissimilar to how living people can detect where the sun is in the sky with their eyes closed. It was unmistakable – the kido explosions that lit up the sky and the occasional indistinct yells that were still clearly the product of the Second Division's lieutenant were just extraneous hints. Weapons out, they surged forward, flash-stepping toward their destination with a mix of faces; some grim and determined, others alight with the joy of battle and, for once, that split wasn't entirely between most shinigami and the Eleventh Division. They had all been waiting far too long for this, and the breaking of this uneasy peace seemed almost liberating.

As they travelled, Jyuushiro turned his mind to the task of picking out the individual spiritual pressures in the haze before them.

_Captain Soi Fon and her lieutenant are certainly holding their own, but who else… Ah, Kisuke. No doubt Yoruichi sent him to take care of her protégé. Captain Kurosaki, too, which means… Yes, there's Rukia. Which will no doubt give Byakuya the opportunity to have a conniption or two._

Carefully, Jyuushiro glanced back at the younger captains, who were matching him step for step. Captains Kuchiki and Abarai had been in the bar when the news had broken, and had not attempted to interfere with Jyuushiro's temporary command. He suspected, however, that any orders he might give them would be automatically thrown aside in favour of defending the young woman they both considered a sister.

_Not that she needs it. Well, best to send them over as soon as we get there. I still remember Yama-jii telling Shun and I the first rule of command – never give an order if you know it will not be followed. It is unfair to both yourself and to the subordinate._

With a sigh, Jyuushiro shoved back the memories that threatened to invade his mind – memories of exiles and almost-executions.

_How long has it been since you remembered that rule, Yama-jii? And where are you tonight, when we need you most?_

He was being harsh, he knew. The head-captain, the teacher who had almost been a second father to him in his academy days, was a man torn between the needs of the noble houses, Central 46 and the Gotei Thirteen. Logically, Jyuushiro knew that compromise meant that every side lost, but was also a necessary evil. He also knew that their leader had risked much to destroy Sousuke Aizen when no one else could, and that the grave expression on Retsu's face whenever the General's health was mentioned did not bode well. But given that Jyuushiro was fairly sure, from what he was sensing, that vasto lorde were on the prowl tonight, it would have been nice to be able to rely on a higher power.

_If he even is that anymore. Much as we do not like to consider it, the Captain-Commander is old. Once it was simply an appearance, but now…_

_Vasto Lorde. Kami. Anyone but our strongest captains will be cannon fodder out there if they send through a half-dozen, and that garganta is still open – I can feel it. Byakuya and Renji may be able to handle themselves, but the rest…_

Almost involuntarily, his eyes flicked across to the woman beside him who, like the two captains, was also matching his flash steps perfectly and was almost unrecognisable when compared to the silent girl at the bar, who had seemed to crumble under the suspicious gazes of her fellow shinigami. Nemu ready for battle was fiercely determined, her eyes fixed on the horizon. The differences couldn't seem to reconcile themselves in Jyuushiro's mind. Without even thinking about it, his allowed his next step to bring him alongside her, before repeating his question from back in the bar.

"Are you alright?"

Starting, she looked up at him, her eyes infinitesimally widening. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

That question, given their current situation, seemed so very ridiculous to Jyuushiro that all he could do was stare, as his muscle memory took over, allowing him to continue putting one foot before the other. Clearly, Nemu realised this too.

Though, exactly which element of this situation he was worried would effect her, had her somewhat confused. Frowning, she replied, "I am not afraid of battle, whatever dreams I may have. Unlike those dreams, too, I know where my loyalties lie." He still did not look satisfied with this, so Nemu cast her mind back further. "Are you referring to the incident in the bar? I'm grateful for your assistance, though it was not necessary."

Once again, muscle memory was called into play, as Jyuushiro blinked at her. "Not necessary? You were really willing to sit there when those bastards called you all manner of names?"

A strange smile seemed to cross her face as she regarded him. "The names are not strictly untrue. I am a traitor's creation. Of course, it does not necessarily follow that I am a traitor as well, but I can hardly expect such individuals to fathom that. It is far better to wait and prove them wrong through my actions. Any attempt to silence them, if it came from me, would only cause more trouble."

He was still staring at her like she was out of her mind. The smile widened as she shook her head. "That is the reality of things as they are, Captain Ukitake. Although, now that it occurs to me, I should have expected you to have difficulty with this concept."

That got a response out of him, as he winced and looked slightly hurt. Reviewing her words, she realised her mistake. "Oh no, this isn't a criticism of your intellect. Far from it – on the contrary, other than Captain Urahara, I consider you to be the most intelligent person I have spoken with thus far and certainly one of the most enjoyable partners in a conversation."

Given that the other captain in question was considered a genius, Jyuushiro was more than happy with this assessment.

_So she thinks I'm smart **and** good to talk to? Ok, play it cool. Don't start grinning like an idiot. Baby steps. First, figure out what she's getting at._

"What did you mean, then?" Jyuushiro was curious now, which he was starting to recognise as a common emotion during their conversations.

_Well, her responses are so unique. How could I not be curious?_

"Captain", Nemu began, smile still firmly in place, "You are an idealist. I should have realised it the second you championed Tolstoy and his occasionally high-flown morality."

She may have hit the nail on the head, but… "So what?"

_Oh, niiice Jyuu. Really eloquent. Clearly living up to that conversational excellence she mentioned._

_Why can't I achieve complete coherency around her? Just once, that's all I ask._

Nemu had apparently not noticed the fact that Jyuushiro was beating his head against a wall internally. She continued, "You're bound to occasionally ignore the realities of a situation. For example, I will never be able to convince some people entirely of my loyalty, no matter what I do. Human nature doesn't allow for it – unless people know me well, there will always be doubt. I don't mind and have even accepted it, as long as I know that the people I care for understand me. It is easier to leave it alone. You, on the other hand, are determined to force people to see the truth."

She paused, her smile fading. "It is a noble goal, but an unrealistic one. You run the risk of constantly being disappointed in the world and the people in it." It saddened her, thinking of the pain that could bring him. And yet, even as she thought of it, the idea of him being anything other than he was could only be distasteful to her.

_Captain Ukitake, all idealism aside, is exactly as he should be. In fact, one can hardly put that idealism aside as it is such an intrinsic part of his nature._

_And for some strange reason, I like that. How odd._

Jyuushiro watched her as they moved ever closer to battle. She had withdrawn into herself again, lost in thought, leaving him free to do the same until she asked for his reply.

_That may sometimes be true, but I can name one instance where it has not proven so – Nemu Kurotsuchi. Somehow, she has surpassed everything I could have expected or wished for._

_Oh Kami, this is deeper than I thought. It's not just some fleeting interest; I truly care for her._

_Well, that's just the worst timing ever_.

Aware that some sort of response was expected, as she looked up at him searchingly, Jyuushiro blurted out, "Things don't always disappoint me. Sometimes they hold up to my ideals and even exceed them."

He was looking at her so intently she almost missed a step. Somehow, the feel of his gaze on her set off a chain of reactions, from the accelerated heartbeat she was starting to associate with their encounters, to a feeling in the pit of her stomach that was half nerves and half… anticipation?

_This is not a normal reaction – it never occurs with any of my other friends or with Nanao when she was my sensei._

_If not friend or sensei, then who exactly is Jyuushiro Ukitake to me?_

Shaking herself out of her reverie, Nemu raised an eyebrow as she returned to the conversation. "Name one occasion when this 'exceeding of ideals' has taken place."

Flustered, Jyuushiro pointed out, "This is hardly the time."

As the brightest explosion yet lit up the sky, Nemu had to concede he had a point. And yet something had clearly occurred to him, and she wanted to know what.

Nodding to him, she replied, "That appears to be a fair assessment. Still, I look forward to you telling me about such an occasion."

Slowing on the approach, Jyuushiro turned to face the rest of the shinigami trailing them. Immediately he caught Byakuya's eye, and saw the question in there. Sighing to himself, he nodded and announced, "Captains Abarai and Kuchiki, join Captain Kurosaki across the field. His squad is by far the most outnumbered." Casting his eyes around, Jyuushiro spotted two familiar figures waiting for similar orders. "And take Lieutenants Hinamori and Izuru – they are best off working under their captains." In a blur almost too quick to follow, Momo had flashed from Kira's side to swiftly hug a startled Nemu, who smiled, whispered something into her friend's ear, and let her go. Ignoring the rebellious thought that popped into his head – _I could use a hug too! _– Jyuushiro continued, "All other officers, if you can find your captains and superior officers in this melee, join them. Until then, though, you will be under my command. Do not take unnecessary risks. Fight in groups if you can, and know your abilities. Vasto lorde are about – do not engage. We have captains on the field for those particular battles."

Another explosion sounded, much closer to their current position, and Jyuushiro grimaced as he saw some of the younger ones flinch.

_How many of them will not survive this? With the foes we face, some of these officers are as good as cannon fodder, and when you consider vasto lorde…_

"C'mon fuckers, I'm still goin'! Now, I'll ask ya again – which one o' you bitches wants to dance!"

The dulcet tones of Grimmjow Jeagerjacques, far closer than he anticipated, snapped Jyuushiro out of thought. Wheeling around to face Nemu, he simply stated, "Stay with me."

She murmured her assent, feeling strange again. Somehow, those words out of Captain Ukitake's mouth did not seem like a simple request for assistance, and that thought seemed to appeal to her.

_Oddness again. I suppose I'm just grateful he thinks me capable enough to fight alongside him. What else would it be?_

From the recesses of her mind, a smug voice replied, **What indeed?**

Slipping soundlessly over to stand beside him, Nemu gave Jyuushiro a tight smile, which he returned before continuing, "We want to make this as quiet as possible – there's still an opportunity for us to surprise - "

Whatever he had been about to say was cut off, as a certain spiritual pressure flared and then all but vanished. Jyuushiro's eyes widened.

_Was that –_

A second spiritual pressure seemed to expand, but this one stayed stable, as a feral roar echoed through the trees. Grimly, Jyuushiro instructed the others, "Captain Soi Fon is down, either temporarily or permanently. Move in."

xXx

It was chaos.

His swords released, Jyuushiro cut a swathe through their enemies but their numbers never seemed to diminish. Surging forward, he spotted glimpses of a blue and white maelstrom protecting something in the centre of the turmoil, which he suspected was Lieutenant Jeagerjacques, but didn't have the time to make sure. Suddenly, the troops were shadowed by a great pair of wings, the dull sounds of their beating temporarily silencing the battle. Jyuushiro reached up, a kido spell crackling at the tips of his fingers, before he glimpsed the face of the arrancar above them. His eyes widened. Few had ever seen Lieutenant Schiffer in his second release form, and fewer still, he imagined, had lived through it. The black horns, the barbed tail, the great bat-like wings, and the splashes of darkness that were his markings all created an unsettling effect among his allies, and even more so among his enemies. Everyone, no matter where their allegiance lay, stepped back as he landed, the spiritual pressure coming off him in waves more than enough of a warning for all but two. A murderous expression on his face, Grimmjow picked up what he was shielding – a petite, bruised woman with long, black braids – and set her carefully into Ulquiorra's arms. Nodding to his fellow arrancar, the ex-Fourth Espada took off into the night, just as a teal-haired woman with the lithe body of an antelope charged through the crowd with a battle cry, wielding a deadly looking lance. So busy was Jyuushiro watching this, he almost missed the cero flying directly at him.

Someone else did not.

Before he could react, a great wall of rock stood between himself and the blast, quaking with the impact. Whipping around, he saw Nemu behind him, Chikyuu-Kosshi planted firmly in the ground and her face a picture of concentration. She had picked a spot close by, and stood with her back to a large lake that was still despite the tumult around it. He didn't even get the chance to thank her, before the rock wall crumbled, the boulders shooting over to crush an arrancar who was about to do something similar to a shinigami. The same shinigami, Jyuushiro noted, who had criticised Nemu in the bar. He stood up, staring at what had been his foe in disbelief, before staring at Nemu, who simply nodded sharply to him and turned her attention to her next target.

Jyuushiro allowed himself a quick smile.

_Winning them over with actions, indeed._

Stationing himself near Nemu, ready to defend her as she concentrated on her Shikai, Jyuushiro's hands flared with kido again and again, as the hordes surged forth. The air was full of cero, kido, smoke and delicate pink petals that were more than merely decorative. Jyuushiro frowned as he buried his swords in a would-be attacker.

_Byakuya better be paying attention to what he's doing. It isn't wise to spread Senbonzakura over such a large area._

Hoping his old pupil knew what he was about, Jyuushiro focused on the task of defending Nemu, and great chunks of rock flew through the air around him, each set to a specific destination and helping dispose of a foe. He had to admire her concentration – she didn't miss a thing. And, he reminded himself as he smoothly decapitated an arrancar who assumed he was easy prey, on the rare occasion she did, he was there. Unfortunately, he was also outnumbered. They were surrounded, and the sheer numbers were overwhelming. Despite Nemu's efforts, most of the shinigami they had arrived with had dispersed too far to be recalled at need. Several of Nemu's rocks had retreated to shield her, and Jyuushiro was working through their enemies as swiftly as he could, but one thing was clear – they needed to close that garganta, or they were going to be overrun.

Something small and round rolled onto the ground at his feet, as Kisuke Urahara flashed past, taking out several arrancar as he went. Nemu's eyes widened.

"Captain Ukitake, I don't mean to alarm you, but I suspect that my captain has finally perfected his explosive."

Jyuushiro didn't think. Shouting a warning to any nearby allies, he grabbed Nemu around the waist and pulled her, sword and all, into the lake.

The water was icy, and did little to slow the shockwaves from the blast as they plunged into the surprisingly deep lake. Nemu looked up to see the air over the water's surface become full of flames, as the world above turned red. Despite the absurdity of the situation, it was almost a respite, where she could sit back, away from the violence and wonder why exactly her skin seemed to tingle where Captain Ukitake touched her.

This was close to his element, but not quite the turbulent waters of the ocean. All the same, he felt comfortable here. He watched Nemu, her face upturned as she waited for the explosion to subside and her inky hair floating in a cloud around her. Suddenly, as though she'd received some sort of signal, she grabbed Jyuushiro's hand, and propelled them both back to the surface.

They gasped as they broke through to air, swimming in strong strokes along the bank to where it hadn't been scorched. Still trying to catch his breath, as he helped her up onto the bank, Jyuushiro queried, "How'd you get it fixed?"

Behind them rang out the amused voice of Kisuke Urahara. "Nanao, mostly. She figured out how to get the kido ignition stable. Not sure how – I'm good, but I'm no kido master. Still, effective, dontcha think?"

Her lips curling into a smile, Nemu nodded as she planted Chikyuu-Kosshi in the ground and wrung out her hair. "I do indeed. Captain, the garganta - "

"I know", came a lilting voice behind them, as Nel galloped over, her lance spattered with blood. "You need me for that, but we'll need a distraction to get anywhere near. And there's no guarantee they won't just open another."

With a grin Kisuke drew back his captain's haori, revealing another three of the explosive devices. Jyuushiro raised an eyebrow. "That'll work."

They stared out at the burning field in front of them, that their enemies were only just beginning to make their way across. Nemu added, "It would certainly keep them occupied on their end, but we would still require some sort of distraction."

Nel frowned. "Ichigo, Renji and Captain Kuchiki are facing down two vasto lorde, from what I can sense. And Grimmjow…" The frown deepened. "He's just butchering anyone who crosses him. He really doesn't react well to Soi Fon being injured in the field."

"Just us then", Jyuushiro muttered.

"On the contrary", Kisuke replied with a grin. "I have a distraction due in about five minutes, if we can get into position."

They all just stared at him, until Nel pointed out, "Elaboration is fun."

The grin widened considerably. "Let's just say I have some friends dropping in, and they're almost here."

"Is this really the time to exercise your flair for the dramatic?" Nemu queried.

"Nemu-san", her real captain replied, "It's always time."

"Enough of this", Nel returned, a wry smile on her face. "Let's go. You three will cover me, right?"

They moved out swiftly, flash-stepping together as they cut down their enemies, their eyes fixed on their target. Arrancar of all shapes, sizes and power levels were still spewing out of the dimensional rift, attacking the shinigami around them. The bodies of both friends and foes littered the field, dispatched through swords, cero, kido and claws. Concentrating on their goal, the three captains and lieutenant blocked out all extraneous information, like the spiritual power fluctuations from where three other captains and three lieutenants faced a vasto lorde, or the strange shift in reiatsu directly behind them.

They could not, however, ignore the sudden rain of glowing arrows that tore through their enemies.

From his position behind Nel, Kisuke laughed, the joyful sound so very at odds with their surrounds that their small company turned to find the source. What they saw was a rather shaky looking garganta, and the last Quincy standing at its entrance, firing off his projectiles with a grim smile on his face.

He was not alone.

Next to him was a man who almost looked like his older double, who appeared to be significantly less than pleased to be there, but was rapidly shooting beside him just the same. Behind them came a brawny young man with armoured limbs, a pretty redhead with jewelled hair-clips, and another familiar face – ex-Captain Isshin Kurosaki - and two young women who bore more than a passing resemblance to him, who were immediately whisked away from the action by their father.

These, however, were not the only surprise additions to the party.

Five figures walked out of the garganta before it closed, zanpakuto out in all cases but one, and bone masks rapidly forming to shield their faces. Jyuushiro's eyes widened.

_Is that… Shinji? I thought –_

_Thank Kami. We need this._

Turning to Kisuke, he muttered, "Your distraction?"

The other captain nodded with a grin. "Effective isn't it?"

It was. All enemy action stilled as they registered the presence of these new powers and took note of their allegiance. Even the influx through the enemy garganta slowed, as the arrancar coming through caught a taste of the reiatsu they were up against. In front of Jyuushiro, Nel nodded and readied herself to spring

It was clearly time to move.

Racing through the stunned crowd, Nel, Kisuke, Jyuushiro and Nemu sliced through any adversaries, cleaving a devastating path toward the garganta. Nel reared up, swallowing a cero aimed at Nemu, before spitting it directly at the garganta, giving them a brief reprieve when her blast cleared the area. Whipping her head around, she pointed to her back and ordered Kisuke, "Up."

The scientist stared dubiously at her. "I've never ridden a quadruped."

Nel fixed him a the glare that was rumoured to be the one thing that could alarm Lieutenant Schiffer. "Then learn. We'll only get one good shot at this."

Taking a deep breath, Kisuke vaulted up onto her back. Before he could settle himself, she was off, leaping over the bodies and kicking out at the fighters still standing as she made it to their target. Hastily activating the explosives, Kisuke lobbed them through, as Nel fixed the dimensional tear, power pouring from her fingertips. Behind them, Nemu and Jyuushiro fought off the arrancar trying to reach the ex-Espada, who waited, her breath caught, to see if another garganta would open.

It didn't.

As the four cast triumphant glances at one another, Nel trotted forward to stare down the arrancar who were swiftly coming to the realisation that now they were outnumbered, and that there was no way back and no reinforcements coming. She grinned, hefting her lance.

"I'm just gonna paraphrase something my lieutenant once said, that I find particularly relevant right now."

"It's time to clean up the trash."

xXx

**Phew. Ok, housekeeping – Byakuya and Renji's version of the fight, complete with vasto lorde appearances, will be up next on 'The Deep Breath and the Plunge', so if you're interested there's that. I know I plug my other story a bit, but they ****are**** linked. I even originally planned for them all to be one, but it occurred to me when I was planning that it just wasn't going to flow. So there's stuff mentioned here that gets elaborated on there, and vice versa. **

**Of course, if you don't feel like reading to find out why something's been thrown in there, PM me and I'll fill you in.**

**Anyhoodle, R and R, y'all. I love hearing from you!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I think I've mentioned this before but, if I owned Bleach, I would have an episode devoted to a Mythbusters-style face-off between Mayuri, Kisuke and Szayel.**

**Tell me you can't see it.**

**Anyhoodle, I'll take this opportunity to point out what I meant to say last chapter – I am so very happy that you people get my Russian literature rants :p The Nemu/Jyuushiro conversation from Chapter Seven is based on a very similar conversation between my partner and myself, so it's fun to slip that in there. **

**In other news, I'm sorry to have kept y'all waiting – I'm currently on a teaching prac, so I have no time/life/sanity. **

**Hope it's worth it.**

**Listening to: Beck – 'I think I'm in Love', Yann Tiersen – 'Comptine d'Un Autre Ete' and Children Collide – 'Jelly Legs'.**

Chapter Nine

It was in the dull drizzling rain at dawn that things finally ended. The garganta had not reopened, a sure sign that Captain Urahara's explosives had packed sufficient punch, and all that had been left was essentially a clean up. The vasto lorde that had entered the field had been disposed of and while an Espada had been allegedly sighted, there was now no trace of them. Jyuushiro could only conclude, as he strode past smoking fires with his blades still at the ready, that they must have fled back through the garganta when the Vizard had arrived.

_With any luck, they got caught in the explosion too. That takes care of the main players, then. And our losses…Well, we could not expect to go unscathed. Captain Soi Fon's condition is worrying, and I know Byakuya was injured. Everyone else seems well enough, or in the care of healers._

_So where, then, is Nemu?_

With a sigh, Jyuushiro turned toward the makeshift healers' tents, his eyes scanning the terrain for one figure in particular. She had been his graceful, dark-haired shadow all through the battle, their plunge in the lake soaking her clothes to her skin in a manner that had been somewhat distracting for Jyuushiro. Still, he would not have wished her anywhere else – she was a perfect companion in the chaos of the fight, her eyes sharp and her instincts almost infallible.

_Then again, what hasn't she been able to turn her hand to? _

Frowning, Jyuushiro stepped through the doorway of the main tent, narrowly avoiding a sprinting healer who careened past with a cart full of bandages. He was a man on a mission. Nemu had disappeared just when the battle had seemed to wind down, heading in the direction of these same tents. Jyuushiro knew she hadn't been injured – he had watched her closely all night and was sure she hadn't sustained any serious wounds.

_Come to think of it, I tend to watch her closely… Well, all the time. Not that she's noticed, thank Kami. _

_Why, oh why, does it have to be _this_ woman who leaves me socially inept?_

Ignoring his inner Shunsui-voice - _because you liiiike her, Jyuu-kun!_ – Jyuushiro scanned the crowd. There was no sign of Nemu, but he spotted Retsu Unohana, which was definitely the next best option. Grabbing a hydration pack off a passing cart, Jyuushiro flashed forward, stepping next to his old friend and offering it to her.

She smiled gratefully. "Thank you. I could certainly use it."

"I figured." Jyuushiro paused, wondering how to best phrase his next question without making himself too obvious.

Centuries upon centuries of practicing restraint were all that held Retsu back from rolling her eyes. "She's two tents over."

Jyuushiro blinked. "What – I – How did you – " He gathered his thoughts, his eyes narrowing. "Have you been talking to Shunsui?"

The expression on her face was one part curiosity and three parts mischief. "No. Should I have been?"

"Hell no. How, then?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I've known you for over a millennia and I'm not an idiot."

"Oh. That." Clearing his throat, Jyuushiro wondered how to continue on from here.

Retsu sighed. It didn't seem to matter how old they got – men were oblivious. "This is serious with you, isn't it?"

Once again, stunned silence was her response. Still fighting the urge to eye-roll, she continued, "Just so you know, if you mess this one up, there will be a lot of people gunning for you. She's not defenceless or friendless. You need to be aware of just what you're getting into and whether what you feel is strong enough."

Jyuushiro was officially done gaping in shock. "What exactly do you think I'm going to do?"

She raised a hand to placate him. "Nothing terrible. I just need you to remember that she's been through so much and that you need to be careful." She smiled ruefully. "As a woman whose lover is a high-ranking shinigami with a set of issues all his own, consider this my friendly piece of advice. There will be people who hate what you're doing, just because of her father and those associations, or because of the rank difference. This isn't going to be a relationship of smooth sailing, and you need to decide if that's going to be worth it."

"Of course Nemu would be worth it!" Jyuushiro replied hotly, bristling at her words. "Those problems are minor parts of who she is – I can handle a few gossips and she's not half as messed up as everyone thinks she is, or as she should be. Why you think I'd let that overshadow her is beyond me."

She watched him steadily, almost appraising him, before nodding. "Very well, then. Now it only remains to be seen if this is mutual."

Jyuushiro's shoulders slumped. "I have no idea. She doesn't seem to mind my company, at any rate."

Retsu patted him on the shoulder. "You underestimate yourself. You need to keep in mind, too, that this is a young woman who is fairly out of touch with her own feelings. These things take time." She smiled faintly. "Still, I don't think her indifferent, if that helps. Now, get going. I have patients."

Jyuushiro walked off in something of a daze.

_Not indifferent? That would be…_

_Unlikely. Retsu is perceptive, but she only spends a limited time with Nemu. Still, that's quite a thought._

_It _would_ be worth it, though. Nemu is lovely, intelligent, kind, loyal and strong in so many ways. The only thing keeping her from being perfect is a lack of appreciation for Russian authors, and let's face it, perfect would be dull._

_What else was it that Retsu said… About the strength of my feelings. _

Jyuushiro frowned, as he ducked into the tent that Retsu had indicated.

_How exactly would I classify my feelings for her? I am attracted to her, certainly. I enjoy her company immensely. I like Nemu a good deal, and yet like doesn't seem to quite cover it… Could it have gone that far? Could I actually be in love with her?_

The idea wasn't sounding quite as ridiculous as it should have.

_I've only just begun getting to know her, and yet she consumes most of my thoughts, tends to haunt my dreams, and my favourite moments in the day all seem to be spent by her side. _

_No, it's not quite there, but it could so easily be._

_I am an idiot. Who falls halfway in love without the slightest bit of encouragement? Nemu has been polite and occasionally friendly to me – nothing more._

_Kami, I need help._

_No, it can't be that bad, surely? It's just some sort of phase. I care for her – she's my pupil, of course I do – I enjoy her company a great deal and I certainly find her attractive, but that's it, right? Just a… well, as juvenile as it sounds, a crush. Nothing more._

So absorbed was Jyuushiro in this mental reassurance, that he almost ran into Momo, who was helping a limping officer of the Eighth into the nearest bed. The young lieutenant took one look at him, before smiling to herself and pointing left. Jyuushiro aimed himself in the direction she pointed, all the while wondering.

_Just how many people think there's something going on? I should attempt to put an end to rumour, for Nemu's sake. I would hate to see it damage her reputation, especially now when she's trying to build it up, and - _

He halted, transfixed by what he saw.

She was certainly not at her most beautiful. While her hands were clearly sterilised, and the rest of her hurriedly cleaned, her clothes were torn, her hair was pulled back into a snarled mess and she looked exhausted, paler than usual with dark circles under her eyes. And yet, as she calmly dressed the wounds of the shinigami in front of her, softly speaking words of encouragement to fight the pain, there was something utterly captivating about Nemu Kurotsuchi at that moment. Her hands flared blue with healing kido as she worked, each move graceful and controlled. As she let her patient collapse onto the stretcher to sleep it off, she looked up and, catching sight of Jyuushiro standing there, a small smile of welcome bloomed across her features.

Jyuushiro felt exactly like he did when wielding Sogyo No Katawari and the lightning within – that shiver of anticipation that seemed to spark right through him. This was not brought on by the thrill of power, though, but something deeper, more primal…

_That…is distinctly more of a reaction than a crush should warrant._

_Oh Kami, what have I gotten myself into?_

Dazed, he sat down in the chair beside the stretcher.

While Nemu was always glad to see her sensei, his preoccupied air worried her. It was as though those hazel eyes were looking right through her, unfocused as they were, and as soon as she had settled her patient she turned to face him. Carefully she laid one hand to his forehead and the other to his chest over his heart, making contact with his skin through the torn fabric.

Jyuushiro started at the sudden contact. "Wha - "

She instantly drew back, pushing the sensation of feeling his warm skin under her fingertips to the back of her mind. She could sort through _that_ odd reaction later. "My apologies. You seemed somewhat dazed and I wanted to be sure that nothing was the matter."

Her hand was cool and delicately smooth, yet it seemed to ignite where she touched him. She had been so close that strands of her hair that had escaped confinement had trailed across his neck, brushing him with every movement she made. He had been able to smell her, too, a faint citrus scent that made him think of summer and -

Jyuushiro hastily tried to cover the faint flush on his cheeks with a cough and raised an eyebrow. "And you can figure all that out by placing a hand on my forehead?"

It was Nemu's turn to raise an eyebrow right back. This, at least, she was used to. "You are clearly unwounded and I can see that you are breathing easily. The next two most obvious indicators of a potential problem would be an accelerated heartbeat or a fever, both of which I can detect through physical contact."

With a wry smile, Jyuushiro held up his hands. "I'll concede the point."

_A good thing she checked my heartbeat before I really registered her proximity. The last thing I could handle right now is explaining _that_ away. _

Equally detrimental to Jyuushiro's nice, normal and stable heartbeat was the way her lips curled into a small smile. "I am glad you see it my way, sensei."

Hearing her call him that evoked two reactions; bitterness at the thought of their disparate ranks and the potential problems that could arise from that quarter and, at the other end of the spectrum entirely, the portion of his mind that Jyuushiro thought of as Shunsui-corrupted bandying about the concept of 'role-playing'. Clearly, that title had to go.

"I'd rather you didn't call me that", he muttered, wishing that his best friend had, firstly, been a little less perverted and, secondly, shared much less of that perversion with him.

Nemu frowned in confusion. This form of address was supposed to indicate respect and an acknowledgement of superiority. Nanao had refused it too, but that made far more sense – the woman was her equal in rank and they were close friends. For Captain Ukitake to refuse it, though, did not make sense.

Jyuushiro could see her trying to think it through and, before he even realised the words were leaving his mouth, he continued, "You should call me Jyuushiro."

Nemu's eyes widened slightly. Three years ago, this would have meant nothing to her, but now…

_He is accepting me as a friend._

_As an equal._

The thought seemed to thrill her, and yet something else occurred to her.

_He is correct, too. The title of sensei does not fit him as I thought it would. Even though this change puts us on a similar footing to Nanao and myself, that still doesn't seem to define our relationship and interactions. _

In the back of her mind, the voice sounded, **I realise that thisss is a new concept for you to deal with, but musssst you take so long to figure it out?**

_I wouldn't need help if you'd enlighten me_, Nemu thought back furiously.

**Where's the fun in that?**

_I do not exist to provide you with entertainment, and if this is all you'll offer me, then your presence is not wanted._

She heard a sigh. **Denssssse, aren't you?**

_What part of 'not wanted' is so very difficult for you to understand?_

Nemu had gone quiet for some time, leaving Jyuushiro on tenterhooks.

_Perhaps that was a little too forward? Maybe I should have waited for her to offer – no, I'm the ranking officer and nobility, for all that matters anymore. I'm the one who needs to make the initial overture. What if she refuses, though? What – _

She looked up, a strange expression on her face. It was not, however, an unwelcoming one. In her low, musical voice she responded, "Very well… Jyuushiro. In that case, you should also call me Nemu."

He'd always quite liked his name, but he had to admit, it had never sounded as good as it did right then, with her tentative smile and her lilting voice hesitating over it as though she was testing out the words. A saner part of his mind pointed out – _Seriously? She just said your name. Get a grip!_

He chose to ignore the saner part of his mind, in favour of internally dancing for joy._  
_

Blinking, he hastily changed the subject. "Why'd you disappear? You've fought all night, no one expects you to then throw yourself into work here, too."

Her faint smile had become something of a grimace. "Oh, that." She cast her eyes down, her bangs falling into her face. It was all Jyuushiro could do to stop himself from pushing them carefully behind her ears so that he could see her eyes.

As if she sensed this, she looked up, letting out a tiny sigh and looked up to meet his gaze once more. "In the first war, I was forbidden to take part in combat. After you discovered my father's treachery, no one trusted me with any sort of power."

Mayuri Kurotsuchi had deserved everything he had gotten, and Jyuushiro did not regret giving it to him. Still -

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "Don't be. I am glad of what happened. I was assigned to work with the healers, along with the other lieutenant whose loyalties were still somewhat in question."

His eyes widened as comprehension dawned. "Momo."

"Indeed." Nemu's smile had returned. "We worked together through the war, and emerged the closest of friends. We owe Captain Unohana much, too – no one else was particularly interested in taking us after… everything. Even now, I would put money on Momo being in one of these tents."

"I passed her on my way in", Jyuushiro admitted, and then frowned. "But Retsu wouldn't like you to feel beholden to her like that."

"It is not only that", Nemu pointed out. "Think of it as something like… atonement."

He instantly frowned at this. "But you never did anything wrong!"

Her face was pensive as she slowly replied. "No? I will concede that I never did anything to harm the Gotei Thirteen intentionally, but I served my father for decades – who's to say that nothing I did in that time aided him in his betrayal. I would find that highly unlikely, given what I know of him. Consider this my way of making reparations for anything I may have done. I do not mind – I quite like the work and Momo's company." Her smile turned wistful. "It is nice to be able to fix people – I certainly prefer it to the alternative." He was now regarding her with the strangest of expressions, and Nemu began to feel concerned.

"Did I say something wrong?"

His reply was so soft, she barely heard it. He looked up at her, though, as he spoke, his gaze suddenly penetrating and laced with something that defied her classification.

"No, nothing could be farther from the truth."

_She really is everything I've been looking for, isn't she? Intelligence, inherent goodness, a smile that'll make me lose whatever train of thought I have... There's so much more to her than everyone thinks, and I'm one of the few she shares that with – I should be content with that friendship._

_But I'm not, though, am I?_

_I stand by what I thought before – this is the worst timing ever._

Jyuushiro's train of thought was about to be derailed by a far less pleasant force than Nemu Kurotsuchi's smile, however. As Momo caught sight of them and began to head over, Isane Kotetsu's kido-enhanced voice echoed through the tent.

"Attention all captains, lieutenants, Vizard, Quincy and miscellaneous Ryoka. Your presence is required in the meeting hall in ten minutes. Lateness will not be tolerated, given the urgent material we must discuss, and do not go unarmed – we are now officially at war."

xXx

It was with a frown on her face and her mind racing that Nemu entered the meeting hall, barely aware of the grim faces of the shinigami around her. What she was aware of, however, and had been since she had left the healers' tents, was Captain – no, _Jyuushiro_ – as he walked beside her, weapons out and his eyes sharp.

She had to admit, the man beside her had a certain presence in a crisis. He typically gave the impression that he was a simple, open and friendly character, and Nemu supposed that this was true of him to. At Jyuushiro's core, though, was steel. She'd glimpsed it periodically during the first war, but it had only really become clear tonight (or, rather, last night and this morning) when he'd taken charge and lead them all into battle. That Jyuushiro was commanding, fierce but controlled, and capable of almost anything in order to keep his charges safe.

She rather liked both these sides of Jyuushiro, but she had to admit that this latest version was rather thrilling to be around.

All in all, Nemu Kurotsuchi was something of a confused woman. She had spent several decades suppressing all feeling, only to have it all break loose in the space of a few years. This might have been alright, she mused, if she had continued feeling things at the same pace – she was not a changeable creature and had been able to deal with each sensation in a calm and measured fashion as it arose. Now, though…

_Now I have too many sensations to name, several of which I cannot even begin to classify. I have a sword spirit who mocks me but won't assist me, a best friend who has informed me I need to draw my own conclusions, and a sensei who is not a sensei, but not quite a friend either, who is stirring all of this up._

_It occurs to me that if I had trouble sleeping _now_, it'd make perfect sense – with all of this to work through, how can I rest?_

Shaking her head at Cap – no, _Jyuushiro's – _concerned gaze and attempting a reassuring smile, she took her place beside her real captain and Lady Yoruichi, who was currently in some sort of staring competition with the Captain-Commander. All noise died away as he began, in a grave voice, "Lady Shihoun, I do not recall requesting your presence."

Complete silence reigned, as the woman in question raised an eyebrow. "Then I can only assume you've sadly managed to overlook me. Foolish of you, given that this situation clearly requires all hands on deck." She broke off, motioning to the brightly clad woman behind her, who came forward, a wolf-grin on her face that extended all the way to her green eyes. Yoruichi nodded to her companion, and continued. "I've taken the liberty of inviting Kuukaku Shiba to the table."

The Captain-Commander narrowed his eyes. "You take too many liberties, Lady Shihoun. This is supposed to be a private, military debrief."

"It's a necessary evil", Jyuushiro's voice rang out, and Nemu saw him step forward, determination on his features. "If the information we have received through Lieutenant Schiffer's efforts is accurate, and I don't doubt that it is, Lady Shiba's connections to both nobility and the Rukongai are invaluable. We truly need all the help we can get."

"I can accept that reasoning, though I do not believe the situation to be so severe", the General growled out. "My issue is that Lady Shihoun's refusal to follow the proper forms and discuss this with me first shows a contempt for this organisation that I will not allow."

Yoruichi had the grace to attempt to look vaguely sheepish. "In peacetime, certainly, that would be the path I followed. Now, though, I judged it to be more expedient to act in this manner. I apologise for any offence."

The Head Captain inclined his head, though the expression on his face indicated that he was less than pleased, and turned his head to the slim, darkhaired figure next to Captain Kuchiki.

"I am also at a loss to understand the presence of an unseated officer at this meeting. Captain Kuchiki, would you care to explain your sister?"

Even those who didn't know Byakuya Kuchiki well could sense the way he bristled at the General's words, as he spoke in icy, measured tones, "Rukia requires no explanation that she herself cannot give. Even so, she is here as a representative of the Kuchiki clan and as occasional spokesperson for the Ryoka."

The unspoken ending to that statement was clear to everyone – _stick that in your pipe and smoke it._

Nemu couldn't stop herself from inhaling sharply.

_This isn't a meeting – it's a series of power struggles. I knew that the General's hold on some of the captains had been tenuous as of late, but I had no notion it could be this bad. Some of them are only just short of all out mutiny – not to the Gotei Thirteen, but certainly against the leader. If he falls, who then do we turn to? _

"Bickering is pointless", Captain Unohana pointed out quietly. "This meeting has a set purpose, and I can only suggest that we return to it."

"Indeed." The General's displeasure was clear, but he turned to Jyuushiro calmly and requested a description of their position.

"Certainly." Jyuushiro paused, clearing his throat before he began. "This initial skirmish was been successful for us. We have destroyed three vasto lorde and countless arrancar, though none of the new Espada were present. The Second have temporarily lost their captain, and bore the initial brunt of the attack – we may need to transfer some of the rank and file to keep them fully staffed, as their losses were heavy. For the most part, though, we can call this a victory."

"What I wanna know", broke in a harsh voice, "is why we weren't warned."

All eyes turned to Lieutenant Jeagerjacques, standing alone in his usual position as a leader of the Second Division, his bright blue gaze boring into Lieutenant Schiffer. Ulquiorra, in turn, looked up to face him, resignation on his face.

"Well?", Grimmjow continued. "Didn't they tell ya?"

The other Espada exhaled slowly, before replying quietly, "Yes, they told me. The problem was, they told only me. If I had warned you - "

"You bastard", Grimmjow hissed out, his hands clenched into fists. "You mean you fucken knew all along?"

"Think, Grimmjow!" Ulquiorra snapped back. "If you'd been ready to meet them, they would have known what I was. I'd not be able not warn you of any of their plans again – I had to keep this quiet."

"Bullshit!" Grimmjow roared back. "I don' - "

"Stop!" Nel's voice echoed through the now-silent hall, laced with pain as she stared at them both. "Grimm, just… please stop." The last word came out almost as a sob, as Ulquiorra flashed a reproachful glare at his fellow arrancar before wrapping his arms around his captain.

"Fuck this." Grimmjow muttered, stalking out of the room.

Ichigo Kurosaki ran a hand through his bright hair, his perpetual frown in place as he turned to Ulquiorra. "Shit, you know he doesn't mean - "

"I know", Ulquiorra replied, "and in an hour or two Grimmjow will know too. In the mean time, he's better off with Captain Soi Fon." He sighed, shaking his head before turning to the General. "May we also be excused? I have little to report. The consensus among the other side is that they need several days to regroup. Captain Urahara's explosives were quite effective, enough so that we shall have a reprieve of at least a week. The intention is to draw us over there with false confidence."

"I thank you for your input, Lieutenant Schiffer", the Head Captain replied. "Certainly, you may be excused."

As the two arrancar left, the General closed his eyes for a long moment, before fixing them on the crowd of miscellaneous allies assembled in the centre of the hall. "As for the rest of you, I will place you under the command of - "

"Sorry to burst your bubble", Shinji Hirako interrupted, in a voice dripping with false sweetness, "but we have already elected to place ourselves under the command of Lady Yoruichi Shihoun."

The Captain Commander turned to the woman in question, who shrugged. "Finding out now, myself. Can't say I blame them, though."

He sighed, before turning back to his old pupil. "You don't trust me." It was not a question.

The sweetness vanished from Shinji's voice, as he replied darkly, "Can you really expect me to?"

"I think it's a brilliant idea", Jyuushiro's voice broke in blithely. "After all, it helps take some of the pressure away from the Gotei Thirteen, and having trained troops to work with those of the noble houses is bound to help."

Nemu raised an eyebrow as she thought it over appreciatively.

_An excellent face-saver. It makes the idea sound appealing to all parties and less like a direct snub. Will the Head Captain take it?_

After a lengthy pause, he nodded. "Very well. In that case, Lady Shihoun, I would be grateful if you and Lady Shiba could spare some time now to discuss this with me. Are there any other pressing matters in need of discussion?"

Shunsui Kyouraku stepped forward, a grin on his face. "Well, if we're getting a reprieve, Nanao-chan and I are going to make the most of it. The wedding's in three days and you're all invited!"

As the rest of the meeting descended into congratulating the couple and discussing recent events, Jyuushiro made his way over to a pensive-looking Nemu.

"Penny for them?"

She looked up and gave a slight smile. "Thinking about tripods."

He raised an eyebrow. "The least stable of all political structures?"

She started. "How did you guess?"

Jyuushiro grinned. "I suspected you'd be a Frank Herbert fan."

Her smile turned wry. "Only the first book. After that, they begin to get a bit ridiculous."

"Fair enough." He looked around the emptying meeting room and frowned. "I can see why you'd be thinking in that direction, though."

"How long has it been that bad?" Nemu queried. "I knew that the situation was difficult with the Captain-Commander, especially given that he needs to balance out the Gotei Thirteen, the noble houses and Central 46 - "

"The tripod", Jyuushiro broke in.

"Quite. But that…" Nemu broke off, her eyes stormy with concern. "It felt like being in battle again."

"It did at that", he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "Still, at least nothing came to blows."

She made an impatient noise and shook her head. "Be that as it may, how are we supposed to defeat an enemy if we cannot even master ourselves and work together?"

Jyuushiro looked up at her then, and Nemu realised just how much the same question had been playing on his mind as he answered in a hollow voice, "I just don't know."

Instantly, she wished she'd never brought up the subject.

_It's the last thing any of us should be thinking about, not now, when we've won for ourselves some time. He'll dwell on it, too. If only I could think of something to change the subject sufficiently…_

Inspiration struck.

"I am surprised that Momo and I did not come up in the discussion. I would have thought that they would be reluctant to let us fight."

That got his attention. Jyuushiro shrugged. "Well, we haven't been kidding when we say we need all the help we can get. But you've proven yourself more than enough. Sure, the unseated rabble mightn't be aware of it, but the people who matter are." He considered this. "And, if they aren't, I'll damn well change their minds."

He hadn't intended the sentiment to be so vehement, but it was worth it to see her smile like that again, that little quirk of the lips that seemed to be easier for him to make appear each time they met.

_Oh, dream on Jyuushiro. Definitely time to get out before I do something stupid._

With an awkward wave, he trotted off, murmuring something about planning a buck's night, and Nemu was left with the strange impression of wanting to call him back, which was odd. She didn't need to talk to him and, while she enjoyed his company, she hadn't thought she would feel this bereft when deprived of it, however briefly.

Tucking her mussed hair back behind her ears, she shook herself out of her reverie and walked off.

_Curioser and curioser. _

xXx

**I'm not dead! And, while things have been moving slowly, they're about to get **_**very**_** interesting next chapter. The Frank Herbert reference involves the Dune books. **

**R and R, y'all!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I had a mathematical proof worked out in which I demonstrated that I am not Tite Kubo and therefore do not own Bleach, but Word doesn't have all of the necessary symbols. Curses – foiled again.**

**Sigh. Not mine.**

**Listening to: Silversun Pickups – 'Lazy Eye', The Silents – '23', and Foo Fighters – 'Everlong (acoustic)'.**

Chapter Ten (in which things get decidedly interesting)

Nemu hadn't thought it possible but, apparently, she was drunk.

She frowned as she squinted into the glass that had held her drink, feeling distinctly confused. It couldn't all be gone; she'd only just received it. Perhaps someone had taken it… Yes, that seemed to be the most likely solution to her dilemma. Blearily, she gazed around the bar for the culprit, only to be disappointed.

Nanao was resolutely not drinking, and instead seemed to have decided to capture as many of her bridesmaids' and friends' drunken antics on camera as possible. Nemu would not have objected to this, but the wicked grin on Nanao's face made her feel more than a little concerned.

_Shunsui clearly had been a bad influence on her. _

_If I can use the word influence correctly in a sentence, does this make me less intoxicated? Admittedly, I have not vocalised said sentence…_

Nemu made a vague attempt to form the syllables, before giving it up as a bad job and returning to the problem at hand – who had stolen her drink.

Rangiku-san was also clearly not the perpetrator – she was currently standing on the bar entertaining bar patrons with a rendition of some living world song originally penned by a member of the nobility. Nemu had her doubts, however, given the pictures that she had seen, that this Lady Gaga character was in fact of such refined blood.

_Then again, the limited gene pool associated with the aristocracy does tend to lead to the scions of such houses being more prone to insanity. _

_Certainly, it would explain the outfits._

Shaking her head in a misguided attempt to clear it, Nemu resumed her search, only to come to an awkward realisation.

_If all of the rest of our party are at the bar, singing along with Rangiku-san about telephones – an inadequate substitute for hell butterflies if I've ever heard of one – then the only person who could have logically drunk this is… well, me._

_Oh dear._

_Well, I suppose, if you eliminate the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth… And I am drunk?_

_I wonder if Jyuushiro reads Sir Arthur Conan Doyle…_

_Jyuushiro…_

He'd been a regular visitor to the lab the last two days, simply shrugging when he arrived and explaining that Rukia had taken over training duties for him, leaving him effectively useless. He was a little bothered by this, she could tell, but he'd clarified that his annoyance was centred on Captain Kuchiki's refusal to realise his sibling was so capable…

_Jyuushiro frowned, running a hand through his hair as he muttered, "I know he wants to keep her safe, but this isn't the way to go about it. Eventually she'll try to do something crazy to prove to him that she can handle it all, and that sort of stunt rarely ends well."_

_Nemu could see the logic to this, and replied as she continued writing the training roster, "You have to concede, however, that Kuchiki-san is possibly one of the few people who could engineer such a happening and do so successfully. She does know her limits."_

_He sighed. "You know that, and I know that -"_

"_But Captain Kuchiki decidedly does not", Nemu finished for him, before her brow furrowed in thought. "Is there nothing for you to do at the Thirteenth?"_

_He looked sheepish as he shot her a wry grin. "Uh, no. Not really. Rukia's too damn efficient – I'm almost superfluous to operations." Then, in a more subdued tone, he added, "If I'm bothering you, just let me know and I'll leave."_

_He should have been bothering her. Nemu usually preferred complete calm and quiet when dealing with the roster and everyone's various duty requests. Jyuushiro's presence did not lend itself to either of these things – he was outgoing by nature, though capable of silence, and, more importantly, Nemu could never quite summon her typical calm when she was near him. _

_And yet…_

"_You're not bothering me at all. I'd much rather you stayed – it gets dull with only myself for company."_

_The words were out of her mouth before she was aware of them, and she was left to marvel at her subconscious mind. She never usually cared whether her work was solitary or not, so it seemed strange, almost as though she wished to find a reason to keep him with her…_

_Jyuushiro latched on to her statement with a grin, and settled himself down beside her. "So, why are you here on your own, anyway? Where's Kisuke and the rest?" _

"_He's leading a joint training session over on the Shihoun grounds", she replied. "He decided that we needed to remind the troops that they are not only scientists."_

"_Fair enough", Jyuushiro returned, "but why are you exempt?"_

_A tiny smile broke through her expression of concentration. "Because I have an excellent sensei who ensures that I do not forget such things."_

"_I told you not to call me that", he muttered, only to be stunned into silence as her smile widened._

"_I never said I meant you."_

_He was taken aback for a second, before he spotted the laughter in her eyes and snorted in response. "Oh, very funny. Just for that, I'm arranging a training session at dawn."_

_Nemu composed herself, and turned her gaze back to her half-completed roster. "Whatever you say…"_

_The smile reappeared. "…Sensei."_

_In a movement too quick for her eyes, the paper on her desk vanished. Her head snapped up, the sudden reaction tugging strands of her hair loose from her braid. Ignoring this, she focused her attention on her target – one Jyuushiro Ukitake, currently grinning wickedly at her from the opposite end of the lab, and waving a certain roster in what could only be considered a taunting fashion._

_Nemu raised an eyebrow. "You cannot be serious."_

_She hadn't thought it possible, but his grin became even more wicked. "Can't I? One could argue that friends should be on first name basis. Since you won't call me by my first name, then it could easily be argued that we are not friends, in which case I'm here only in my capacity as sensei. If I'm just your sensei and not, say, a friend dropping by to talk, then we should be training. Consider this an exercise in shunpo."_

_She stood up, pushing back her chair. "I stand by my previous statement."_

_He shrugged. "Then we are at an impasse."_

_Nemu began to smile, with an expression that mirrored the mischief in Jyuushiro's face. "So it would seem."_

_She vanished, hurling herself after him._

_Five minutes later, Nemu could only conclude three things – captains should never be left idle, Jyuushiro Ukitake was a terrible distraction where she was concerned, and that the man in question was too damn fast._

_He also stopped far too suddenly. _

_She crashed into him, the impact knocking them both down onto what was, fortunately, a clear patch of floor. It was only as Nemu caught her breath that she realised just how very close her face was to Jyuushiro's, as he stared at her in some sort of impact-induced daze. She could see the flecks of green and brown that made up his irises, she noticed the faint suggestions of sun-derived freckles across high cheekbones and an aristocratic nose, and she could feel his body shift under hers, the muscles moving as he breathed. In turn, whenever she breathed she was greeted with the scent she associated with him, a mix of salty ocean air and the lean, bracing smell of pine needles._

_He felt warm, reassuring and so very… was solid the right word? No - it implied almost an excess of weight. Jyuushiro's muscled, athletic body was more… Firm. Yes, firm was the word. _

_Although, now that she considered it, firm had a few interesting connotations of its own…_

_She was clearly going to have to check the ventilation systems in this room – she felt far too warm and, now that she considered it, she really should have caught her breath by now._

_And possibly stopped staring into her sensei and friend's eyes. _

_And ceased all consideration of his body, even if - especially if such thoughts were positive. _

_And removed herself from on top of said body, no matter how much she enjoyed being there._

_Hastily righting herself, Nemu snatched up the roster from where it had fallen (She'd forgotten all about it. How… odd) and announced, "You may stay, on one condition."_

_Jyuushiro seemed to have recovered from his fall – his eyes had lost that glazed look - as he sat upright. "Name it."_

_She held up the roster. "You help me complete this abomination."_

_He grinned. "Well then, Nemu, I'll help on one condition."_

_She raised an eyebrow. "Name it."_

"_Stop calling me sensei."_

_A ghost of her former smile flickered across her face. "Very well… Jyuushiro."_

Nemu continued frowning into the glass. There had been nothing wrong with the ventilation in the lab, the check up she had hastily booked herself into had given her no answers about her body's reactions, and Chikyuu-Kosshi was generally being insufferable. One thought made it out of the intoxicated muddle of her mind.

_I really should have moved off of him sooner. Even if he did smell very, very good._

_I wonder what Jyuushiro's doing now…_

With a groan, she muttered out a curse to men who smelt too far nice, before letting her head slump forward as she rested it on the table in front of her.

Unbeknownst to Nemu, by her side a bemused Nanao Ise sat, shaking her head and marvelling at how damned often Shunsui was right about people.

xXx

The answer to Nemu's unasked question about Jyuushiro's activities was, in fact, sitting in a bar and fighting not to bewail the fact that he had offered to be the sober groomsman.

_Two millennia of chasing after Shun and keeping him out of trouble, and the one time I could get someone else to volunteer, I blow it._

_Too nice for my own good, dammit._

There were some upsides to being the one sober person present – he was going to be able to remember tonight, he wasn't going to humiliate himself, and he had managed to spend almost fifteen minutes laughing at an oblivious Shuuhei Hisagi as the man in question attempted (and failed) to pick up his drink.

On the other hand, it meant that his mind was fully functioning and staying fixed on its favourite topic – his attempts to court Nemu.

Admittedly, he was a little rusty when it came to such things (and Kami, did he feel old even owning up to that), but he was fairly sure that he was pursuing a woman who had no interest in him or even any idea he wanted her.

_Hell, she was practically straddling me on the lab floor and all she does is look at me strangely and fetch the roster. Meanwhile I'm left frantically trying to think about the time Shunsui tried to take a pole-dancing class in order to stifle any… reactions. _

_And, frankly, with that mental image in mind, I'm fairly sure I can never become aroused again._

Except, even as he thought it, Jyuushiro knew that wasn't the case. His initial attraction to Nemu may have been mostly the result of the personality revealed in their conversations, but he couldn't deny that he was distinctly physically attracted to her as well. Certainly, it had been difficult to forget such a point when she had fallen onto him, her body flush against his, those curves all too apparent, those red lips so close to his own –

_Shunsui pole dancing. Shunsui pole dancing. Shunsui pole dancing._

_Oh Kami, I know the mental image is effective, but why must it be so terrible? Did Shun really have to wear the Lycra, too?_

_Ugh. Sometimes, I hate my life. Between the deranged best friend, the squad I've been semi-retired from for 'health concerns', and the woman who has no idea I'm half in love with her… _

_Where do I go from here? I don't want her to think of me as her sensei or friend – or, rather, I don't want her to think of me solely as those things. So what do I do? Tell her?_

_Kami, no. Not without something to go on, anyway. _

_What, then? She's unlikely to respond to flirting; she'd recognise it for what it was, but even then she'd not respond to it. Nemu is too straightforward for that._

_Great. Where in Hueco Mundo does that leave me?_

With a sigh, Jyuushiro sat back and wished he could get drunk. After all, at this rate, perhaps things would make sense.

xXx

As they trooped out of the bar to a mix of jeers and farewells, Nemu could only wish that she could say this was the first time Rangiku-san had gotten her kicked out of a bar.

Tonight.

The woman in question, however, was clearly oblivious to the chaos she had caused, as she flopped down next to where Nemu had seated herself. The rest of the party were spread out along the road, indulging in conversation and, in one or two cases, regurgitation. Nemu sighed. She may have felt a little more in control of her actions than she had an hour ago, but she was still decidedly inebriated. All the same, she could at least admit that the woman beside her was much further along the path of drunkenness, and indeed seemed somewhat maudlin. Deciding to address this, Nemu delicately inquired, "What is the matter, Rangiku-san?"

The woman beside her exhaled loudly, and shook her head. "Nothing much, just… Love sucks."

Nemu blinked. "Does it indeed?"

With a wave of her hand, Rangiku corrected herself, "Oh, don't get me wrong, when it's mutual an' all that shit, it's fantastic. But unrequited love blows. Especially when you're stuck in the office with them all day, every day, and you're so damn nervous and on edge the whole time. Stupid butterflies in my stomach." That last part was muttered out darkly, as the older woman pushed her masses of red-gold curls behind her ears.

Nemu, on the other hand, was alarmed. "You've been eating hell butterflies? That can't be hygienic."

Snorting in amusement, Rangiku replied. "No, silly. It's an expression. It's that feeling you get when you're around someone you're attracted to." The blank expression on Nemu's face urged her on. "Oh, it's sorta like one part nerves and one part excitement. You feel all shivery – but good shivery, you know? – and breathless."

This… sounded familiar. Uncomfortably familiar, now that Nemu considered it.

_That couldn't be it… Could it?_

_This is not sounding as ridiculous as it should. I need to investigate further._

"Are there any other reactions involved in being in love?" Nemu asked with nonchalance she was far from feeling.

"Huh?" Rangiku looked at her blearily. "Whaddaya – oh, like what else you feel? Sure. You always love being around them, more than pretty much anyone else. You find yourself makin' excuses to keep hanging around them. You want them to be happy, no matter what, even if it ain't with you. And on those few occasions when they smile, and it's aimed at you, you just…" She sighed, clearly lost in reminiscences. "Melt."

Uncomfortably familiar had been right.

_Surely not. I wouldn't be such a fool._

_Would I?_

_Stop it. I'm drunk, she's drunk, and tomorrow, when I think this through properly, I'll come up with an equally logical explanation. _

Hastily excusing herself, she rose to her feet and went to find Nanao.

_After all, I could hardly fall in love with someone without being aware of my doing so and – _

Lost in thought, she had bumped into a person heading in the opposite direction and almost fell back, before feeling strong arms encircle her, pulling her close and back on her feet. Nemu fought the urge to groan – it was bad enough that her reflexes had failed her so, but her rescuer had an all too familiar scent of ocean air and pine needles – and she reluctantly looked up into hazel eyes that held a mixture of concern and amusement.

"Hello Nemu."

The tone of his voice, however, was pure amusement. Nemu elected to get in a minor hit of her own.

"Hello Sensei."

Jyuushiro looked down at the woman in front of him as she raised an eyebrow, as if daring him to call her on the use of the hated nickname. He was momentarily stunned by her uncharacteristically open teasing – Nemu was typically subtle – until he smelt her breath.

_Oh Kami, that explains it._

"We should sit down", he offered, as she wavered slightly, a vaguely disoriented expression on her face.

The eyebrow remained raised as she turned back to him. "You're still holding me."

Hastily retracting his arms Jyuushiro prayed he wasn't blushing. "Right. Uh, sorry. Still, shall we?"

As he strode toward the verge, he almost could have sworn that he heard someone mutter, "That was not a complaint."

_Huh… Nah, couldn't be. _

_Besides, after smelling Shun's breath, chances are I'm intoxicated too._

Carefully removing his jacket, Jyuushiro spread it out on the ground, sitting on half and motioning to Nemu to join him. As she flopped down beside him, stretching her long denim-clad legs out, he congratulated himself on that particular manoeuvre – not only did it make him look like a gentleman, but the size of the jacket meant that Nemu had to sit very close to him in order to avoid contact with the ground. And she was _very_ close, half leaning on him in fact, and her pretty dove grey shirt, that hugged her curves lovingly, was just low-cut enough so, at this angle –

_Eyes front. Kami help me, and give me the strength to be less perverted than Shun._

_Hmmm… That's not really raising the bar, as such, is it?_

He did smell good, Nemu conceded, and it probably wasn't entirely his fault. She was leaning on him slightly, but then he didn't seem to mind so she wasn't about to draw his attention to it and risk having to move. He was wearing living world clothes again, and the faded grey t-shirt advertising a led zeppelin, of all things, paired with fitted black jeans were once again doing odd things to her pulse.

_This does tally with Rangiku-san's description – the appreciation of physical appearance, and enjoyment of contact and company – _

_No, I refuse to think about it. It can't be._

_Besides, if anything, I should focus my attentions on appearing sober._

_Well, relatively sober. Attempting conversation would be a start._

Clearing her throat, she began, "I received your hell butterfly about the training session."

He raised an eyebrow. "Did you now?"

She nodded vigorously. "I did, and - ", she poked him in the shoulder with one finger, frowning, "I do not approve."

She was still prodding his shoulder, Jyuushiro noted with a grin. Nemu Kurotsuchi, he decided, was an adorable drunk. Try as she might to appear unaffected by the alcohol, the slight slurring of her words, the atypically expressive gestures and expressions, and the way her eyes would occasionally lose focus as she blinked were all pretty clear indicators that such was not the case. He also rather liked the fact that she was leaning against the shoulder she was poking, strands of her unbound hair trailing against his bare arms.

Still, as nice as these sensations were, a response needed to be forthcoming.

"Which bit don't you approve of?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I had previously assumed that your 'training session at dawn' comment was a joke."

She was still poking the same spot on his shoulder, and Jyuushiro decided that enough was enough. Carefully, he took her hand to prevent further arm abuse (that was his story and he was sticking to it). "Depends. What's my name?"

She actually snorted. "Not this again. Very well – _Jyuushiro_."

His grin widened. "Well then, I think I can look into pushing it back a few hours. How's noon?"

Nemu shrugged and sat up slightly. For a moment, Jyuushiro was sure she would remove her hand from his, but instead she brought it closer to her, resting it in her lap, and was now tracing the lines of his palms with her fingertips and studying it intently. "That will be acceptable."

He had very nice hands – long, strong and capable fingers and the calloused palms of a swordsman. They were the sort of hands, Nemu mused, that could probably do any number of interesting things…

It was far too warm again. The obvious solution, since she was outside, was to remove an item of clothing, but that thought only made her feel warmer. The second obvious solution was to move away from the warm body next to hers and into her own space, but Nemu liked that idea even less, and –

"You really are drunk, aren't you?"

She looked up into amused hazel eyes, only to realise that she had spent the last few minutes contemplating things about the man in front of her that were better suited to Rangiku-san's more adult living world magazines.

_Best not to think about. Damn Rangiku-san and her too-plausible theories. _

_It can't be _that.

Attempting dignity, she replied, "I am not. I am merely…" She cast her mind around, searching for a suitable description. "…Sobriety impaired."

As the man beside her made a pitiful attempt to stifle a laugh, Nemu sighed. "I will be hearing amusing recounts of this conversation for days to come, yes?"

Composing himself, Jyuushiro tried and failed to look apologetic. "Pretty much. If it helps, Shun's drunken antics will always eclipse yours."

With a groan, Nemu's head slumped onto Jyuushiro's shoulder once more. "It does not help in the least."

Still chuckling, Jyuushiro replied, "I have to admit, I'm surprised you can even get drunk. It usually takes a lot to knock you around."

He could immediately sense when her mood shifted, and turned his head to look at her face, pensive as she stared out into the night. Nemu, in turn, shifted to face him, one eyebrow raised. "Meaning that you thought that I would have been created to avoid such pitfalls."

Jyuushiro blinked. "What? No, I just - "

Nemu sighed. "I know what you meant. I'm sorry, I don't know what's come over me." Her face turned pensive. "Actually, I do – at least two bottles of tequila."

It was Jyuushiro's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Impressive."

"I thought so." She turned away, staring out into the distance once more. "My father did not give me a blanket immunity against poisons."

Jyuushiro blinked. "What?"

"Alcohol is a poison, in all technicality", Nemu clarified. "Given my purpose, I should have been made immune to all such substances. But he refused to discount the possibility that he might choose to be rid of me in such a fashion, so he only made me immune to specific, common poisons. His zanpakuto, for instance, could harm me, though to a lesser capacity than most."

He shivered. "Shit, I - " Words failed him and he shook his head. "You should just tell your detractors that story. I think they'd get why you didn't follow him and decided to work against him."

Nemu frowned as she turned to look at him. "I never really made the decision to work against him, although I would happily have done so."

Jyuushiro met her gaze searchingly. "What do you mean?"

She went quiet for a long moment, before continuing in an almost-whisper. "My father's betrayal was, to me at any rate, a chance to be free, but I did not expect it to last long. I was the creation of a traitor. Very few people realised that I was independent of him and capable of making my own decisions. I assumed that I would be put to death as a precaution against further treachery."

He couldn't stop the sharp intake of breath. "But you still chose to stay…"

A bittersweet smile crossed Nemu's lips. "It was the lesser of two evils."

It was instinctive, he'd tell himself later. Who could leave her there looking to desolate and alone, trapped in remembering the past? The obvious solution was to gather her in his arms and hold her as close as he possibly could without hurting her, all the while wishing her father was alive so that he could kill him again, more slowly, and murmuring apologies all at once.

And naturally, Jyuushiro did just that.

Nemu was feeling much better, and that had a lot to do with where she was right now. Speaking about it had helped lift a burden from her shoulders, but that was not the catalyst that had her almost trembling in her skin, as she felt what was almost… electricity in the air. Jyuushiro was warm, smelled even better up close and –

_Not thinking about it. Focus on something else – why he keeps saying he's sorry, for a start._

She was close enough to be able to whisper in his ear, "What do you have to apologise for?"

Jyuushiro drew back, still keeping his hold on her. "I should have seen it. I could have done something, anything - "

Nemu shook her head. "I'm not telling you this so that you feel guilty. Be realistic – I was under my father's jurisdiction – there was nothing you _could_ do. I just want you to understand." The smile was back, now more sweet than bitter. "It was you, after all, that gave me the first hint that perhaps that wasn't my fate."

"Me?" He was definitely bordering on speechless now.

She nodded, adding, "You did not look at me like a traitor when you broke the news. You looked… sad. Like you wanted to help me, but didn't know how. It made me think that perhaps I would live and, if I did, I would stay. It would be what _I_ wanted, for once."

As Jyuushiro was still staring at her with a faintly stunned expression on his face, she continued. "And you have helped me. I haven't been dreaming lately – well, at least, not about that. Talking to you… It helps."

You could almost fall in to those wide, deep green eyes, Jyuushiro decided, and just drown in them. Frankly, that was sounding pretty good right now. Realising that a reply was required, he cleared his throat and returned, "You… You amaze me."

Nemu raised an eyebrow. "That is not necessarily a positive comment."

"It is in this case." His reply was surprisingly vehement.

"Oh." She wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Glad to hear it."

He was still looking at her, though, and she had nothing left to say. Nemu wouldn't have minded, but there was an intent behind that gaze that had her heart hammering in her chest. She still felt like the air was electric, however mild the current might be, and she felt almost as though something momentous was about to – no, needed to – happen. She couldn't stand the wait, the build up, the anticipation, and yet she wasn't quite certain what she was supposed to be ready for. Jyuushiro was only inches away, she realised, but still not…

_Close enough? Oh no, that makes far too much sense. It can't be that, it just can't. I wouldn't be such a fool._

_I think._

Desperately needing to fill the silence, and yet not trusting her own voice, Nemu whispered as she stared up at him, "Hello."

He couldn't help it. Not with the way she was looking up at him, uncertainty and something else, something far more turbulent in her eyes. He couldn't help the smile that started to cross his face, couldn't help drawing that little bit closer, couldn't help tucking her bangs behind her ears and letting his fingertips skate across the smooth skin of her cheek, couldn't help the equally cautious "Hi", that slipped out of his lips…

That smile needed to be more tightly regulated, Nemu decided. It was very hard to think when he looked at her like that, a mix of anticipation and something she wasn't quite sure how to identify, but definitely liked. It drew her in, literally, she realised, as she leaned forward –

With exquisite care and precision, Jyuushiro leaned forward and closed the difference between her mouth and his.

It was tentative, barely a brush of the lips, but Jyuushiro felt like he was in the centre of one of Sogyo No Katawari's storms, all sudden stillness in the middle of a rush of electricity. He wanted more, wanted so badly that he ached. This was decades of loneliness and months of unresolved sexual tension finally coming into play and all he wanted was to ravish the woman in front of him and actually render Nemu Kurotsuchi speechless for once. But, he admitted with remorse as he drew back, he _was_ a gentleman and it was only fair to give her a chance to react, to decide if this was what she wanted. The sharp intake of breath before their lips met had not indicated an unpleasant shock, but he wanted to be sure that he hadn't just made the mother of all mistakes, wanted her to be sure, if she decided to respond, that it was what she wanted –

Apparently, one of the few functioning slices of his brain pointed out, as a hand wrapped around the back of his neck and pulled him forward again so that his lips crashed into Nemu's, someone was very sure.

Nemu was not thinking, at least, not further than _more._ This was what she had been wanting, what she had been waiting for. Shoving aside all thoughts of recrimination – _well, it seems as though I _am_ just that foolish – _ignoring all of Chikyuu-Kosshi's encouragement – **about damn time you ssstarted sssomething** – she moved her lips to mould to his, imitating his actions and letting her other hand fist in the front of his shirt.

She'd been absolutely right, she decided, about electricity. All of her nerve endings seemed to have a heightened sensitivity, and all of them were responding to the man in front of her.

Jyuushiro hadn't anticipated that _he'd_ be the one getting ravished, but he wasn't about to complain as he let his fingers dive into the soft dark clouds of hair that haunted his dreams. She tasted sweet under the tequila, and it felt so damn good, so damn right to have her here, like this. She'd shifted, too, and was now straddling him, as she –

"Jyuu-kun! Jyuu, where the hell are you? You've gotta see this - "

Shunsui's voice was far too close for anyone's comfort. Instantly, Nemu drew back, her eyes wide.

_It's all true. I want him. I want Jyuushiro. And it's not just want, that's the worst part. I'm actually – _

He spotted the panic in her eyes and recognised a woman about to bolt. Frantically hoping that some of his blood flow was still making it to his brain, Jyuushiro blurted out, "Nemu, wait - "

It was too late. She'd flashed away and disappeared, leaving Jyuushiro to groan out several curse words and lay back on the ground, trying to calm down.

_Well, shit. _

_Shit, shit, shit._

_Now what?_

As Shunsui rounded the corner, he was greeted with his best friend – only this was not the Jyuu-kun he was used to. This was Jyuu-kun straight from the academy days – wild-eyed and barely able to contain the storm of his reiatsu. The look he fixed Shunsui with was bordering on murderous.

"Uh, Jyuu-kun?"

He rose from his prone position, dusted himself off, and then strode toward his suddenly cowering best friend.

"Shun?" That tone was loaded with a calm that sounded positively dangerous in the current situation.

"Uh, yes?" Polite obedience was what was going to save him here, Shunsui decided.

"Since", Jyuushiro continued in that same terrifying tone, "you have ruined what was shaping up to be the best night of my life, you are going to be buying me a lot of drinks tonight, because, so help me Kami, I am getting hammered. Are we clear?"

He considered arguing, until he caught a glimpse of the lipstick stain on the corner of Jyuushiro's mouth, a deep red shade he knew was a favourite of a certain protégé of Nanao's…

Shunsui had a very clear idea of just what he'd interrupted.

Concealing his inner triumph – _damn, I'm good – _Shun nodded. "Sounds fair. C'mon Jyuu-kun, let's go get you wasted. Then maybe I'll get details?"

It was put forward as a question and shot down as such. Shunsui sighed.

_Baby steps, I suppose. Not everyone appreciates my genius, but Jyuu-kun…_

_He'll be thanking me soon enough._

A wicked grin on his face, Shunsui escorted his best friend to the nearest purveyor of cheap liquor.

xXx

**Housekeeping time! The line "If you eliminate the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth" is from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories. **

**As for Jyuushiro, I can totally see him as a Led Zeppelin fan. I have no idea why, I just do. I also now, as a direct result of this, have plans to write a one-shot at the beginning of Nanao's role as Shunsui's lieutenant, in which Jyuu and Shun skive off duty to go to Woodstock, and Nanao attempts to get them back to the Soul Society where they belong. Let me know if that sounds like a good idea, because it does to me, but my ideas are…**

**Well, for the most part, deeply concerning for all involved.**

**R and R, y'all! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: *Disclaims***

**So, seeing as a lot of you are really keen on the Shunsui, Jyuushiro and Nanao at Woodstock idea (so am I, frankly), it's on the list. It's a long list, though, and I'm not even going to try tackling it until this is done. For those of you who are curious, we're about two-thirds of the way through **_**this**_** part of the story (and for anyone still left behind, this is a part of a series which will continue on once this piece is done). I'm getting excited – all the good stuff's about to happen! **

**I think I'll make popcorn.**

**Listening to: Them Crooked Vultures – 'Mind Eraser, No Chaser', Radiohead – 'Talk Show Host', and Goldfrapp – 'Deer Stop'.**

Chapter Eleven

Nemu had _not_ slept well. Uncomfortable epiphanies, she'd found, would do that to you.

Last night had been… Well, if she was frank with herself, last night had been many things, from humiliating to intoxicating (in many senses of the word) to wonderful, and she blamed most of it on the alcohol. Clearly sobriety was unfashionable at those sorts of events – everyone she had come up against that night was at some level of drunkenness, and Jyuushiro could hardly be any exception…

Unless he had been, in which case, that opened up a whole new set of problems.

Nemu wasn't stupid. She did, however, sometimes need to think things over properly for a while. Kissing Jyuushiro had been a brilliant idea under the influence of alcohol and was still sounding pretty good now, but she had needed to think through the consequences of her actions. So she had flash stepped, very, very quickly to elsewhere.

Lady Yoruichi would have been proud of the speed she'd reached.

Perhaps, Nemu would concede, she had panicked. But, as she had looked over her options in the safety of her own home, panic may have been the best response. At least there was still room to draw back, room to pass it off as drunken foolishness…

_And so we have, once more, option the first – Jyuushiro was drunk._

_In this case scenario, he does not feel anything for me and responded out of instinct. Wasn't it Shakespeare who stated that alcohol increases the desire but takes away the performance?_

…_Best not to think about the performance aspect of all this._

Unfortunately, either her father had gifted her with a vivid imagination or she had developed one all on her own, and it was very hard _not_ to think of Jyuushiro in that capacity. Between the way those hazel eyes could inexplicably heat up, to those talented hands, to –

_Not the point._

…_What was the point again?_

_Yes, the case scenario. Well, if Jyuushiro feels nothing for me and was, as Captain Kyouraku puts it, plastered, then my best course of action is to act as though I have forgotten everything. After all, I was at least equally… impaired. It is plausible. In fact, even if he wasn't drunk but does indeed regret kissing me that may be the best course of action. The only situation where I would question that reaction…_

_Is if he meant to kiss me. If he feels for me what I feel – _

_Which is unlikely. There are better looking women in the Gotei Thirteen, and certainly less awkward ones. Jyuushiro seems to tolerate my company, but I must be realistic. If he hasn't found anyone to interest him in over a millennia of existence, what is the likelihood of that certain someone being me?_

_Diddly-squat, as Momo would say._

_Whatever that means._

That triggered a memory, her best friend talking with her at the bar as she unknowingly admired Jyuushiro.

**And I thought I had health problems. All that accelerated heartbeat and agitated breathing nonsense – no wonder Chikyuu-Kosshi was mocking me.**

**I've been positively dense.**

Said sword spirit was silent for once, which was a relief, but also brought her back to her main point as she thought harder about that night…

_There was definitely something going on here, and it wasn't like Momo to hide things from her. "Are you sure you don't know something?"_

"_Ahhh, let's just say this is something you have to work out for yourself." Momo was out and out grinning now._

_Nemu raised an eyebrow. "That's just ridiculous."_

_Her best friend chuckled. "I know it sounds like that now, but I don't want to influence you in anyway and put something into your head that isn't there. Feelings are tricky like that. It'll make sense when you figure it out."_

"_Still ridiculous", Nemu insisted. "I am perfectly capable of sorting through my feelings." Ignoring the snort that echoed in the back of her mind, she continued, "A hint?"_

_"Not telling", Momo sang, laughing. "If you haven't figured it out in a week, I'll help, but I think you'll get there. You're a scientist after all, and this is biology." She cocked her head to the left, grinning. "Or chemistry. Now go talk to him."_

Nemu's eyes narrowed as she picked up the phone. Unthinkingly she dialled and waited, until the target of her ire picked up the phone.

She didn't bother with a greeting, instead almost growling her message down the phone. "Momo! How in Hueco Mundo could you think that it was acceptable not to inform me that not only was I physically attracted to Jyuushiro Ukitake, but I was in love with him too? Did you not think that may have been useful information to pass on? Or did you just not consider the potential consequences of such an action at any point?"

A very awkward silence followed this, immediately proceeded by the sound of someone who was male, and therefore clearly not Momo, clearing their throat.

"Ah, Nemu-san?"

Nemu blinked.

_Frick._

_Frick. Frick frick frickfrickfrickfrickfrick –_

"Kira-san", she replied smoothly, "I was looking for Momo."

"I gathered", was his reply, a touch of amusement in his voice. "She's almost out of the shower."

"I see."

Further awkward silence ensued.

Kira cleared his throat again. "Look… As far as I'm concerned, if anyone else should ever ask me, this conversation didn't happen. Does that sound good?"

Trying to restrain herself from sighing loudly with relief, Nemu replied, "Perfect." She paused. "I knew I liked you, Kira-san."

"That's the spirit", he returned encouragingly. "Now, that little interlude aside, are you all right?"

"I - " Nemu broke off, considering the question. "I'm not sure. I think I will be, my head just - "

"I get it", Kira nodded to himself from his position at Momo's kitchen table, recalling the beginnings of his first and only love. "It can be something of a mind-blowing realisation." Grinning to himself, he realised just how surreal this conversation was. "So… You and Captain Ukitake?"

Nemu heartily wished that glares could be conveyed adequately over the phone. "My good opinion _can_ be retracted, you know. Is Momo out yet?"

He chuckled. "Fine, I'll put her on. But if you need a guy's advice, well, just know that I'm happy to be an option."

Before she could thank him, he handed the phone over to her best friend, who immediately burst out with, "I'm sorry! You just had no clue and I didn't think it was fair to drop that kind of bombshell on you with you at least figuring part of it out first, and - "

Nemu felt all her anger dissolve.

_My own stupidity is largely to blame here – how could I rely on someone else to inform me of my own feelings? Momo thought she was acting for the best and, if I am realistic, would I have believed her if she had told me?_

_Almost undoubtedly not._

"I'm sorry too", she broke in over Momo's flood of excuses and self-recrimination.

Her best friend exhaled in relief. "Whoa, I bet your head's in a mess right now, huh?"

Nemu grimaced to herself. "That's one way of putting it."

"So, what was your 'oh' moment?"

"Sorry?" Nemu was utterly lost.

Momo tried again. "What made you realise that was how you felt? I mean, with Kira, for me it was realising when I came out of everything after the betrayal that I'd been horrible to him. I'd accused his captain of tricking mine, I'd accused him of having a part in all of it, and yet he still stuck by me and tried to stay my friend no matter what. Once I was back to myself, I was so grateful I hadn't managed to spoil everything, because he's just amazing and - "

There was a curious noise and then Nemu heard Momo giggle in the background, "Kira, I'm talking about you, not to you! Now out, I'm trying to have a conversation with Nemu."

Breathless she regained control of the phone and continued. "Anyway, where was I?"

Nemu smiled to herself. "I can almost hear you blush over the phone."

"Shut up", Momo muttered, still unable to hide the glee in her voice. "It's not my fault the man knows how to kiss. Besides, it's time for you to spill – what made you realise?"

Nemu took a deep breath. "I kissed him. Repeatedly."

Stunned silence was her response, followed by a squeal. "Oh Kami! Go Nemu! What happened next?"

Nemu let said deep breath go. "I bolted, to put it frankly."

She could practically see Momo in front of her now, her friend's exuberant joy on her behalf fading into confusion as her brow furrowed. The response she received clearly indicated this.

"Uh, not to be rude, but why? I mean, c'mon – it's Jyuushiro Ukitake we're talking about. I may be off the market, but the man is gorgeous and possibly the nicest soul you'll ever meet. I mean, he gives out candy, writes children's books in his spare time, and still manages to make it look good, for crying out loud!"

"Does he really write children's books?" Nemu couldn't stop the tiny smile that crossed her face. _Why am I not surprised? Idealist_. "Still, he isn't entirely – what's the expression? Something about butter and its melting point."

Momo groaned. "Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth?"

"That one." Nemu's triumph over remembering the right nonsensical phrase gave way to annoyance. "Which is ridiculous. Butter melts at very low temperatures and the standard soul or human has a core temperature more than adequate for the job. The only mouth butter wouldn't melt in is that of a frozen corpse."

"Ah, Nemu?"

"Yes?"

"Why a corpse?"

"Normal souls cannot survive the freezing process."

"Oh… Nemu?"

"Yes Momo?"

"Ewww."

"Ah. Understandable." Nemu continued to frown. "Still, you see my point, don't you? There is more to Jyuushiro than mere niceness. He can take control and command, and that requires far sterner attributes."

She realised her mistake as soon as she heard Momo's sly chuckle. "Does he, now? I take it you like that?"

For the first time since her creation, Nemu was in a state best described as flustered. "That is not what I meant! Get your mind out of Zaraki District, I never even considered - "

"But you are now, right?"

There was a very lengthy pause, before –

"Momo, shut up."

_Apparently I do like that. Curses. Not thinking about this, not thinking about this, not thinking about this…_

She sighed. "It's a little more complicated than it sounds at first."

"Good, because right now it sounds like you hooked up with an amazing guy and ran out on him."

"Do you wish to hear my explanation or not?"

"Ok, ok, I'm listening." Momo was now clearly in BFF and mentor mode. "Start from the beginning and leave nothing out."

xXx

Jyuushiro woke up to several things – a blinding hangover, bright sunlight that was not at all conducive to helping with the aforementioned blinding hangover, the taste of Nemu Kurotsuchi lingering on his tongue despite his best efforts to obliterate it with bourbon, and Shunsui's face directly in front of him.

It was the latter that made him sit up too fast in shock and smack his head against the bed head.

"Fuck! Ow…"

His own voice was apparently too loud for him. He groaned, rolled away from the side of the bed his best friend was sitting next to, and tried not to think too hard as he rubbed the back of his head ruefully. He looked up at the sound of Shunsui's chuckle and attempted to scowl in such a way as to not disturb his delicate equilibrium.

"Shun?" He started and then winced. Apparently whispering was also too loud.

The fact that Shunsui simply beamed back at him, radiating good cheer and sobriety, did nothing to help his mood. His jaunty tones were also far from ideal.

"Good morning, Jyuu-kun! Sleep well?"

There was no dignified response to this, and Jyuushiro couldn't be bothered formulating one. "Get fucked. Quietly."

His so-called best friend snorted. "You're a class act, you know that? Anyway, I have some of the delightful Rangiku-san's hangover cure in the kitchen - "

Jyuushiro made a half-hearted attempt to get up, before realising that standing upright was beyond his reach and would be for some time. He cast a pleading look at Shunsui, who grinned back.

"Of course I'll get it for you… Once you've answered me these questions three."

Jyuushiro's eyes narrowed as he stated flatly, "You have got to be kidding."

"Nope!" A diabolical light entered his eyes as he called out in a singsong, "Staaaark! Come join the love!"

Jyuushiro grimaced as he pressed a hand to his temple. "Kami, less volume, Shun. And is this really necessary?" He addressed Stark as he padded quietly into the room, a grin on his face that almost matched Shunsui's.

"Yep." Stark pulled up a chair and lounged next to Shunsui. "As your BFF, as Shun terms it - "

"Damn straight!"

"Quite." Shaking his head of shaggy dark hair out of his face, Stark continued. "As your friends, we feel as though we have been left rather out of the loop in terms of developments in your personal life. Shun suggested that we correct this."

"Through incarceration and torture?" Jyuushiro would've raised an eyebrow if expressions hadn't been so painful.

"If necessary", Stark returned, with a wolfish grin. "Shun has been somewhat insistent…"

Jyuushiro groaned. "I get the point." Frowning to himself, he began, "I could just stay in bed all day until I recover and can get the stuff myself - "

"Ah, but you have a training session with Kurotsuchi-san at noon!"

The good news was, that when the blood drained from Jyuushiro's face, there was no longer anything to pound away in his head. However, Jyuushiro was not in the mood to look for silver linings. Frankly, he was in the mood to curl into a little ball and disappear, or possibly in the mood to commit a double homicide.

He distress must have shown on his face, because Shunsui's next point was, "And if you decide not to go to that, I'm sending Kiyone in to be a ministering angel. Kami knows, she's been champing at the bit all morning to come in and ensure you're ok."

That settled it – as nice as Kiyone was, she was much louder than Shun.

He held up a hand. "Fine. I'll go. And since I need help to do so, commence the humiliation as quietly as possible, would you?"

"That's the spirit!" Shunsui cracked his knuckles and drew his chair closer to the bed, peering at his friend's face in a manner that he thought conveyed penetrating insight.

Jyuushiro thought it conveyed gastro-intestinal distress.

"Question the first – did you _have_ to go on an all night bender just because I interrupted your make out session with Nemu-san?"

Jyuushiro gaped, blinking, as the two men (well, the arrancar and the shinigami) stared at him expectantly. Eventually, he found his voice.

"How – you – "

He collected himself.

"I don't know how you saw, but - "

He broke off abruptly as the two in front of him high-fived one another, a lapse that was one part confusion and one part pain at the sudden sharp noise.

"Ah!" Shun grinned triumphantly. "So you were kissing her!"

He glared at his two 'friends' balefully. "It's not nice to spring mental traps on anyone with this much of a hangover."

Both of his interrogators grinned in an entirely unrepentant fashion.

With a resigned sigh, Jyuushiro braced himself for the next onslaught. "I hate you both."

"Perhaps", Stark replied casually, clearly trying not to laugh, "but you still haven't answered the original question."

"Fine", Jyuushiro snapped, only to immediately regret it as it made his head throb. "It wasn't that you interrupted, it was that she took off instantly. No explanation, no nothing. Hardly a positive sign. Happy?"

"Ask me in two questions time", Shunsui replied. "Now, question the second – how do you feel about her?"

_And isn't that the million dollar question. Not fair, Shun, I haven't even figured it out for myself…_

_Except, I think, that maybe –_

_Just maybe –_

This thought process translated into arm flailing and incoherent half-syllables.

"I – no – it's just – gah!"

_Just who is Nemu Kurotsuchi to me? Because she sure as Hueco Mundo isn't just a student anymore._

The knowing smile that crossed both Shunsui and Stark's faces made him turn to them with a glare. "What? You don't know either!"

It was a childish accusation, but the fact that he was resorting to that didn't unnerve him anywhere near as much as the widening of the grins that it was aimed at.

"On the contrary", Stark murmured, "we have a pretty good idea. The question is, do you?"

He wanted to throw the unfairness of this questioning back at them, argue that he couldn't possibly think about topics this serious with a head like his, but then, in the back of his mind, it occurred to him that he did, indeed, know.

It was a knowledge mixed in with so many memories – with dark hair that floated like ink in water, with pale skin and red lips that kissed sweetly and passionately, with wide green eyes that couldn't hide everything, with a refusal to appreciate Russian literature, with determination and a fierce desire to prove something, with amused almost-smiles, with a dry sense of humour and a strange sense of wonder –

And, most obviously, with the way that desperate coil of _want_ that had crashed into Jyuushiro when he'd first really looked at her had been accompanied by another, one of sheer _need_ –

_Half in love – who have I kidding? There are no half measures about it._

With a strangled groan, Jyuushiro threw up his hands. "Fine. I love her! I'm in love with Nemu Kurotsuchi. Are you happy now?"

"Ecstatic", Stark drawled.

Shunsui elbowed him. "Sound more enthusiastic! I am. It's about damn time, Jyuu."

His response was a glare from their victim. "Shut up, Shun."

He simply smiled beatifically. "Not yet. Final question – what are you going to do about it?"

Jyuushiro took a deep breath and tried to fight the rising wave of nausea and panic.

"I have absolutely no idea."

xXx

**What are you waiting for? Jusssst enter the damn gate!**

With a frown, Nemu removed a hand from the gate to the Ukitake family grounds and glared down at the sword belted to her hip.

_You are not at all helpful_, Nemu thought back furiously. _I'm simply trying to recollect all of the components of the plan of attack I have created_.

A snort came, so clearly that she almost looked behind her to see if her sword spirit had materialised. **What does it matter? It's a ridiculoussss plan anyway. You are too quick to asssssume that his feelings and yours do not match up in any way. You undervalue yourssself – you always have.**

Nemu sighed, tucking a stray strand of hair behind one ear. _Perhaps you are right. Even so, this appears to be the best option I have. If I act as though I do not recall anything, then it removes all potential awkwardness out of the equation. It is the best route to take at this juncture. Besides, she added, if he truly wanted to kiss me, then he will do so again._

_I hope._

She could almost feel Chikyuu-Kosshi roll his eyes. **After you've essssentially rebuffed him? That would take a man with far more of a senssse of his worth than your captain.**

_Stop calling him that – he isn't my anything_.

**You just wissssh he was.**

_I -_

_Dammit._

_You are very fortunate that I cannot see you at this moment, as there are several choice gestures I would like to make to your face._

**I get the point. Sssstill, I don't like the plan.**

Making an impatient noise in the back of her throat, Nemu returned, _I needed your help a week ago – I have no intention of calling upon it now._

**Too bad, then**, came the smug reply, **seeing as you're working with sand again today.**

Nemu fought the urge to groan. Sand was not her friend. It was too loose to provide protection, not hefty enough to damage, and utterly useless as an attack unless she permanently aimed at her foes eyes or whipped it around at speeds too difficult to control with any accuracy. Given that they could very easily be fighting on sand at any time, Nemu was nervous. None of her techniques would be of any use on the battlefield. She could pull some rock up from the depths of the earth – enough to keep herself armoured – but the effort tired her and she couldn't attack with it. She'd almost resigned herself to requesting a station with the healers…

But then Nemu had had what could just be a very good idea.

It would require Jyuushiro's help, of course, but if she could pull it off, she'd be far from weapon-less…

So now she just had to concentrate enough on the task at hand rather than on her sensei, and pray she could make it work. It would, however, require her zanpakuto's cooperation.

_Just behave. You want to see use, don't you?_

The answer she received was something of a petulant growl.** Yessss.**

_Then don't be obnoxious. Honestly, why you –_

"Nemu."

She whirled around, caught unawares, only to feel her heart speed up as she faced –

**Your captain.**

_Shut up._

_…And he's not my captain._

Carefully, Nemu cleared her throat. "Jyuushiro."

_There, that was fairly neutral. Not cool, but not overtly enthusiastic. He's my sensei, we're just friends._

_What was it Momo said?_

_Ah – repeat until you almost believe it._

_He's my sensei, we're just friends. He's my sensei, we're just friends. He's my sensei, we're just friends…_

She looked guarded, Jyuushiro decided, trying very hard to keep breathing. Those expressive green eyes seemed almost shuttered, and there was a tension to her petite frame that he could not recall having ever seen before.

All in all, things didn't bode well.

Still, he wasn't going to let this early setback floor him. He'd thought quite a bit since Shun and Stark left, and had come to several conclusions. Firstly, he was indeed in love with Nemu Kurotsuchi, which meant that for the first time in his centuries of existence (he excluded all academy-based infatuations and a brief, but misguided, crush on Retsu) he was actually in love. This was a problem. Oh, not the feeling – if it had been at all reciprocated he would have spent at least the next century or two walking around with a dopey grin on his face. The problem was him – if he didn't fall in love easily, then he imagined he'd be just as slow to fall out of it, which lead him to one very clear fact –

Nemu Kurotsuchi was it for him.

Which meant he needed to do something about this, and now. He wasn't inclined to spend a millennia moping over 'the one that got away', or dancing around the object of his affections for a century like some people (Shunsui), and that left action as the one alternative.

All this was well and good. It just might have nice if he knew what action he should be taking.

With a deep breath, Jyuushiro decided to lay all of cards on the table. He steeled himself, a rueful smile on his face, and stated bluntly, "Well, that was an interesting night we had."

She couldn't read him, which bothered her. There was something, some undercurrent behind his typical cheerful self, but she couldn't seem to get a hold on it. Nemu gave herself a mental shake, marvelling at her own foolishness.

_There's little point searching for some sort of indication that he cares for me like that. I am an idiot for trying to find one, especially now that he's given me the perfect opening. I need to focus._

"Actually", Nemu began, hoping her voice didn't betray her, "I don't recall much of last night other than being manhandled out of several establishments. Apparently, I was intoxicated."

_There. Now, please take the bait and let me be able to stop thinking about this. Or rather, since I know that is unlikely to happen, at least let me push this to the back of my mind and pretend it doesn't matter that I love you and you –_

_Well, suffice it to say that you don't return the sentiment._

Jyuushiro was utterly taken aback. This turn of events hadn't even occurred to him, and Kami knew he'd spent most of this morning thinking through almost every possible way this confrontation could go. That Nemu might not even remember –

Except, for some reason, he didn't quite buy it. If she didn't remember then her manner was off for no good reason, and that was entirely unlike Nemu. It was worth testing, at any rate.

Equally casually, he returned, "Oh, is that all?"

His question may have seemed innocent, but there was something in his eyes that suggested that she was not out of the woods yet. With an air of unconcern she simply responded, "It is indeed. I'm almost concerned – I hadn't thought I'd been so affected."

Something occurred to her and she rushed to clarify, "By the alcohol, that is."

Jyuushiro raised an eyebrow and she fought back the urge to wince. Guilt seemed to quiver under her skin, but she held her ground. In the end, he simply shrugged. "You'd be surprised. After all these years, Shun still hasn't developed an immunity, you could hardly be expected to in one night."

She let out a breath. He was going to accept her story.

_So why don't I feel better?_

_Probably because, as much of a relief as this is, it means that it was all a mistake…_

_For him, anyway._

Jyuushiro smiled. "Anyway, just because you've had a rough night doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. We need to head in and get started." As he unlatched the gate, he nodded to her.

"After you."

xXx

Jyuushiro was not fooled.

He'd seen something flicker on her face as she'd denied all memory of last night, and he had a feeling that perhaps Nemu Kurotsuchi was, for once, being less than entirely honest.

Which bothered him.

As far as he could tell, there were two reasons why she'd pretend the kiss didn't happen – either she'd rather forget about it, or she'd been worried about his reaction and had acted in the interests of self-preservation.

Neither of these sat well with him.

_After all, I hardly wish to forget about it but, at the same time, I don't know what I could have done to make her feel concerned about my reaction._

Ignoring the little voice in his head that suggested that it may not be something he had done, but a lack of something, he continued to mull things over.

_Either way, whether she really forgot or not, and whether she is even vaguely interested in me romantically or not, what is there left for me to do?_

_I need to act._

_I can do this – I already kissed her once. Attempting to convey my feeling more subtly will be a piece of cake after that. Not that I'm scared or anything. Sure, this may be the first time I've felt something of this magnitude, and sure, all signs point to Nemu not being at all attracted to me…_

_Well, except when she's drunk. That kiss…_

_Deep breaths._

Breathing was doing nothing to detract from the memory of those warm, inviting and surprisingly eager lips, or of those delicate, capable hands and –

From her position on the beach, Nemu made a noise that, in a lesser woman, would be labelled a scream of frustration, hurling the sand she had been attempting to control back onto the beach. Jyuushiro raised an eyebrow. Displays of temper were most unlike Nemu…

_Which could just mean that last night has thrown her as much as it has me._

_Live in hope, Jyuushiro, live in hope._

_Kami, I'm such a fool for this woman._

Nemu cursed under her breath as she struggled to get a hold of herself.

_I am in a foul mood, and why? Because Jyuushiro didn't mean to kiss me?_

**You barely gave yourself the chance to find out before you blurted out that moronic sssstory, **came the petulant rejoinder, **sssso you have no one to blame but – **

_Now is not the time._

**Fine. But at leasssst concede that, perhaps, you might be wrong.**

_I wish I could. But all signs and probability itself points to this explanation. I've been dense enough in this matter – I will not continue that trend._

Shaking out the sand from her hair, she hefted her blade and frowned.

"Problem?"

_You don't love me. I would consider that a problem._

Pushing that singularly unhelpful thought to the back of her mind, Nemu sighed. "Of sorts. I can get the sand to the speed necessary for it to inflict damage, but it is almost uncontrollable. If I were to unleash it on the battlefield I'd most likely inflict as many injuries on allies as enemies. I'd like to blame it on a lack of concentration and focus on my part, but Chikyuu-Kosshi has indicated that this is as good as things will get."

Jyuushiro frowned. "Well, that's hardly ideal. What does that leave you with?"

"That's just it." She cast her eyes down to the sand, her expression troubled. "None of the other techniques I have used are effective here. I did have something of a tentative idea…"

"What is it?" Jyuushiro wasn't a fool. Tentative ideas ventured from members of the Twelfth were either terrifying, ridiculous or brilliant, and he knew which category Nemu fitted into.

_Then again, I am somewhat biased._

Nemu ran a hand through her hair, dislodging the last of the sand. "It's a foolish notion, and we'd have to stay working together for it to even happen, and I know that inter-squad movement is being discouraged on the battlefield - "

She broke off, seeing him smile at her encouragingly. It wasn't fair for the man to look so good when he smiled, Nemu decided. It made it very hard to concentrate. Mustering up her thought processes, she simply stated, "Glass".

He raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting for elaboration.

"When lightning hits sand", Nemu began, "it essentially forms molten glass, which would be a very effective weapon if I could still control it. Even if it no longer maintained such a high temperature and liquid form, glass is far more effective a weapon than sand – and at far lower and more controllable speeds."

He looked pensive, Nemu decided. Perhaps he still was concerned about working with her…

Jyuushiro shrugged, trying to conceal his inner glee.

_We'd get to work together even more, wouldn't we? It's an excellent idea as a weapon, and if it works…_

Aloud, he replied as he readied his two swords, "It's worth a try. Stand back."

She did so, planting her sword in the ground, ready to shield if necessary. Wind whipped through both her and Jyuushiro's hair, as he closed his eyes, concentration written all over his face. Suddenly, erupting from one of his swords, lightning struck the ground before them, leaving a bubbling, smoking mess of glass in a sand crater. Nemu sprang into action.

Reaching out with her power, she made her first attempt.

_If I can just get it to move, if I can control it, then we may have some hope…_

Almost infinitesimally, the glass pool quivered, and began to rise. Nemu couldn't stop herself from smiling.

Jyuushiro watched, fascinated. She never looked lovelier than when she was caught up in her work and new discoveries, he decided. That openness in her face, that sense of wonder –

_Because at this point, what I really needed was more things to love about her. And yet, I really don't mind._

_Might be an idea to stop grinning like an idiot while I stare at her, though._

_You know, just maybe._

Composing himself, Jyuushiro called out, "What about the temperature? Can you shift it from liquid and back again?"

Biting her lip in concentration, Nemu's eyes never left the ball of molten glass in the air before them, as it slowly started to solidify, and then slipped back into its original state. Exhausted, she let it drop back to earth, now a solid globe, where it embedded itself in the sand. Carefully, Jyuushiro picked it up, surprised at how warm it felt to the touch.

"Well, I think we can call that experiment a success. What about on your end?"

Nemu pondered this. "It can be almost as difficult to control as sand, but the rewards are infinitely greater. If you wouldn't mind continuing to be saddled with me…"

The question was implied, but Jyuushiro's mind was occupied as the Shunsui-corrupted portion of his brain pointed out the inextricable link between saddling and mounting. Hurriedly, he pushed that notion aside. He was too much of a gentleman to dwell on such a thought.

Much.

His response, then, was to blink and blurt out, "I'm good with that. Uh, we should work on this more. You know, fine tune."

He seemed flustered, which was odd, but Nemu elected to focus on the task at hand and slipped into her battle stance.

"Very well."

Two hours later, they were still on the beach, exhausted, sweat-soaked and duelling as Nemu shot shards of glass at Jyuushiro with limited success. The heat was becoming oppressive as they worked, with the afternoon giving no reprieve, and Jyuushiro had removed his shirt and was now working in his hakama.

This had not done wonders for Nemu's concentration.

She was relieved when he signalled an end to their work, sheathing Chikyuu-Kosshi, seating herself and attempting to compose her hair or, at the very least, remove the sand from it. So preoccupied was she with this task, that she only realised that Jyuushiro was coming toward her when he stood right in front of her. Nemu looked up at him, and immediately regretted it when her eyes didn't quite make it up as far as his face.

_Idiot. I know he's good looking, I know that I admire his physique clothed, and I know that he's currently left a good portion of it on display. I should be prepared for this reaction._

_And yet…_

_I thought the heat was bad before._

Try as she might, she couldn't seem to drag her eyes away from toned muscle under lightly tanned skin, and a body that seemed to radiate heat. The waves of the ocean beside her had been light background noise all day, but now they seemed to crash in her ears as everything seemed to shrink to this moment. She cursed the fact that, now that she knew exactly what it was, her attraction to Jyuushiro had only grown stronger. Her mouth felt dry, her whole body felt too warm and she fisted her hands in her sleeves to stop herself from giving in to that overwhelming urge to reach out and touch. She knew just where she'd start, too – with the stark contrast of black ink that was the tattooed kanji for thirteen, right over his heart. Nemu also felt the most inexplicable urge to lick her lips, which made no sense to her whatsoever until she realised that her hands were not necessarily the only things that she could touch with…

_No! I am undoing all of my work this morning. I need to appear indifferent, I need…_

_I need him._

With an immense effort of will, she moved her eyes upward, to stare into his face. There was something there, something she couldn't quite read accurately, and she couldn't help but wonder when Jyuushiro Ukitake, the friendliest and most open of all the thirteen captains, had become such a mystery to her.

Jyuushiro, on the other hand, was congratulating himself on a damn good idea. Sure, the heat had contributed to the original thought, but it had also occurred to him that there were two outcomes if he took off his shirt – either Nemu wouldn't care and he'd at least get some relief from the hot day, or she would care…

And that would be even better.

There was something there, even he could tell. She'd looked at him like she wanted nothing more than to return to last night (if she did, indeed, remember), which had done wonders for Jyuushiro's ego and made him very grateful that hakama had considerable breathing room, otherwise things would be a little tight right now.

It also meant that something else had occurred to him – this was a woman who wasn't accustomed to feeling anything. He'd almost forgotten how very closed off Nemu had originally been, she was so much more open to conversation with him. He could almost kick himself for not considering the possibility that maybe, just maybe, Nemu did feel something for him and was only hampered by her unfamiliarity with such a thing.

It was a theory that was rapidly beginning to make sense, and that wasn't just because he really, really wanted that to be the answer.

He hoped.

Which meant he needed to reconsider things. If he moved too fast, Nemu would startle again, but if he played his cards right…

_It's a possibility, certainly, and at this point, a possibility sounds fantastic._

_Now, to lay some groundwork._

He gave her a grin and put out his hand, ready to help her up off the sand. Tentatively, she took it and gracefully got to her feet.

"Are you sure you're willing to have me stationed with you in battle?" She liked fighting by his side, but after last night she didn't want to appear over-eager. "I'm sure I can find a place with the healers again."

His good-natured grin widened. "Don't worry, I'd love to have you there. We make a good team."

He was still holding her hand, but if he didn't mind the she wasn't about to draw attention to it. He seemed more assured now than he had at the beginning of the lesson, though she couldn't think why, and it was starting to remind her of elements of last night…

_Which I shouldn't be recalling, because I'm not supposed to remember it. Just what it Jyuushiro trying to achieve? I don't –_

Whatever thought had been about to cross her mind was utterly obliterated as he carefully leaned forward and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, his fingers trailing down the side of her face and along the delicate line of her jaw. All the while, his eyes remained fixed on hers, filled with the same heat she wasn't supposed to remember from the previous night.

Inhaling with a shuddering breath, Nemu suddenly came to a realisation.

_There is a scenario I overlooked after all – that Jyuushiro might not love me but still be physically attracted to me._

_Perhaps I should have given it more consideration._

**Still denssse**, came the hissed reply.

_Shut up. Busy._

She looked beautiful shocked, he decided as he withdrew his hand, but it was probably best to stop here before he became carried away. Nonchalantly, as though nothing at all unusual had happened, Jyuushiro added, "Anyway, I'll get the paperwork sorted. If anything's amiss, I'll let you know when I see you tomorrow."

Nemu blinked.

_What the –_

_Why does confusion have to reign supreme for me whenever we interact? Just once, I would like everything to make sense. I feel a bit like Alice, down the rabbit hole…_

"Tomorrow?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Big wedding? Wacky shenanigans? Shunsui attempting decorum for Nanao's sake?"

"Oh, of course." Well, now she just felt stupid. "It should be all of that and more, I daresay."

"I thought so. Anyway, I'm relying on you to keep me entertained while the two lovebirds are staring into each others eyes", Jyuushiro added with a grin. "I've never gone to a wedding with a date before and I have to say, I'm looking forward to it."

She'd forgotten that aspect of things. Before, having Jyuushiro as her date was innocuous enough, but now it hinted at something more between them and she could almost feel her cheeks flame.

_Definitely time to remove myself._

Wishing Jyuushiro a cordial (for her) farewell, Nemu turned on her heel and tried very hard not to look as though she were attempting to outrun her confusion.

Back on the beach, Jyuushiro couldn't suppress a smile. He'd actually managed to get Nemu Kurotsuchi off-balance.

At the very least, it seemed promising.

xXx

**Phew. Longest chapter yet, and they're only going to get more extreme. Things are starting to get very interesting, with Jyuushiro attempting to subtly win over a woman who doesn't actually need to be won over, and Nemu attempting to reconcile herself to the advances of a man that she assumes doesn't love her, but actually does.**

**What could possibly go wrong?**

**Anyhoodle, R and R, y'all!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Trust me, if I owned Bleach, real life concerns wouldn't prevent me from updating anywhere near as much.**

**So, that only took the two weeks (five months) I expected it to. Ugh. RL is a bitch.**

**Listening to: Elliot Smith – "Angeles", Radiohead – "Nude", and Martha Wainwright and Snow Patrol – "Set Fire to the Third Bar".**

Chapter Twelve

Jyuushiro knew very well it was a dream.

He was tipped off by several keys points. One, he could remember no clear beginning to this particular scene. Two, time didn't seem to have the right flow. Three, this dream involved Nemu Kurotsuchi in his bed, when he distinctly remembered that she hadn't been there when he went to sleep.

Unfortunately.

Still, Jyuushiro was in no hurry to wake up from this particular dream. Nemu might have been doing nothing but sleeping, but he rather enjoyed watching the delicate rise and fall of her chest, and the way faint expressions crossed her face when she dreamed.

_Which is just a little odd. I'm dreaming of watching the woman I love sleep – how creepy is that? I mean, she's clearly in my bed willingly, so it's not as though I'm stalking her or anything, but what exactly does it say about me if this is what my subconscious dredges up when it's let loose – _

"That you over analyse things."

He blinked back at her, his eyes drawn to the unfamiliar smile that crossed her lips. Shaking her head, she sat up, revealing a delicious expanse of bare back, and stretched in a move so unconsciously sensual that Jyuushiro was fairly sure his currently-sleeping self's mouth was watering too. Attempting to kick his brain into gear, he tried speech.

"Wha - "

He was cut off as, in a move so fast he missed it, he found himself straddled by what could only be described, from the feel of her under the sheet, as a very naked Nemu.

_Come to think of it, I don't seem to be wearing anything either…_

_I… think my brain just died. And very possibly went to heaven._

Delicately, she laid a finger across his lips, that same smile on her face. "Shhh. Sometimes, and I am loath to use this as a criticism, but sometimes you do think too much."

In a strangled voice at least half an octave above what it should have been, he replied, "Okay".

Her smile widened. "You know, _sensei_, I do believe there are other areas you could educate me in." Jyuushiro couldn't stop himself from gaping.

_Oh Kami. I'm going to kill Shunsui for ever telling me about role playing. I'm going to hell, aren't I?_

Carefully, Nemu leaned forward, her dark hair curtaining them from the world, and kissed below his ear, before gently scraping her teeth over the lobe. He shivered, unfamiliar with the surprisingly arousing sensation. She whispered, "Or, if you prefer, I could show you what I know first. Understanding a student's prior knowledge is important, after all."

_Of course, before I go to hell, I may as well enjoy my sins. Just have to remember to keep breathing. _

Nemu laughed, in a voice that seemed designed purely to tease lust-addled shinigami captains (as far as Jyuushiro was concerned), before whispering in his ear. "The choice is yours… Jyuushiro." She drew his name out like a caress. "Jyuushiro."

He closed his eyes, waiting for her next move…

"Oi! Jyuushiro!"

Startled out of sleep, Jyuushiro sat up, only to smack his head directly into someone else's – someone who definitely wasn't Nemu.

Groaning, Jyuushiro switched on the lamp to better glare at his best friend. "Shun, not that I don't appreciate your company, but what the hell are you doing here?"

Rubbing his forehead ruefully, Shunsui replied, "It's not my fault!"

Jyuushiro rolled his eyes. "Of course it isn't. I now eagerly await the explanation of why that is the case."

"It's Rangiku's."

With a raised eyebrow, Jyuushiro indicated that it was time for Shun to talk fast or risk being turfed out. Hastily, the other captain continued, "She was telling Nanao about living world wedding traditions, and apparently the groom isn't supposed to see the bride on the day before the wedding." The infamous pout emerged at full force. "So she booted me out right before midnight."

"That's all well and good", Jyuushiro returned, rubbing a hand over his face, "but how the hell did you get in?"

Shunsui snorted. "Jyuushiro, everyone knows where you keep your spare key; it's in that bizarre pottery creature you took from that garden in the living world."

Said pottery creature – supposedly called a gnome – was the result of a living world drinking binge with the man across from him. Jyuushiro wasn't quite sure why he'd picked it up, except for it's rather jaunty hat – he quite liked that.

Shunsui continued, "It's got to be the worst kept secret in the Seireitei, aside from Ichigo's feelings for Rukia and the fact that Iemura at the Fourth likes wearing women's underwear."

Wide eyed and horror struck, Jyuushiro replied, "Oh Kami. I didn't know that, and I certainly didn't need to."

"Anyway", Shunsui soldiered on, resolutely ignoring the now disturbed man in front of him, "I need a place to crash, and I was thinking…"

Jyuushiro snorted. "You were? There _is _a first time everything after all. Well, now that you've made it so I can never close my eyes without horrifying images coming to mind, I don't really feel like sleeping. You can take the bed; I'm going to shower and try to feel clean again."

His best friend sniggered. "I don't know about that – you seemed to be enjoying whatever you were dreaming about before I woke you up. Would that be a cold shower you're off to, Jyuu-kun?"

Having staggered out of bed, Jyuushiro didn't even bother to look back as he responded.

"Shun, I hate you sometimes."

He didn't have to look around to know the other man was grinning as he chuckled, "Atta boy, Jyuu-kun. Get some sleep. You've got a big date tomorrow. You gotta plan?"

He sighed. "Hell if I know. Use the right cutlery, don't dance anywhere near you since you're a disaster zone on the dance floor, don't stare at her like a lovesick fool and accept the fact that I will utterly fail at achieving that last one. I have no idea what to do, Shun. I guess I'm just going to treat this like a date and hope we get to talk properly about the other night. Because she does remember something, even if it's only a little. She's not been entirely comfortable around me since then, and I want to find out why."

As he padded off to the bathroom Jyuushiro pinched the bridge of his nose.

_And, most importantly of all, tomorrow I've got to be able to look her in the eye. _

_Kami, please don't let Nemu call me sensei. I don't think I can be held accountable for my actions if she does._

xXx

There was something very soothing, Nemu decided, about having someone play with your hair that she'd never noticed before.

_Most likely because such occurrences were decidedly rare until about a year ago. And, possibly, because my mind has never been in need of soothing as much as it is now. _

Nemu was confused, befuddled and puzzled. Momo would have called this 'confuzzled', but Nemu stuck to her guns and her knowledge of the English language and had long ago decided on the former definition of how she felt. It had been bad enough when she was trying to sort through her own feelings – a confusing and occasionally contradictory mass of sensations – but now that she understood them, she was forced to try and wrangle somebody else's. How in Hueco Mundo was she supposed to work out how Jyuushiro felt about her? Oh, she knew she'd had some very strong indicators that he wasn't indifferent to her, but nothing that strictly told her anything definite.

And Nemu wanted definite.

At least a definite answer would make it easier to decide on her course of action. If Jyuushiro didn't care for her, she would simply do her best to back quietly out of his life – there was no sense in prolonging the agony. If he felt the same way she did then she would feel comfortable confronting him. And if he didn't love her, but still happened to want her…

Well, she had no idea how to deal with that one.

Fortunately for Nemu, however, her hair was currently being pulled into place by the foremost relationship expert in the Seireitei.

"Rangiku-san?"

The hands in her hair stilled, as the woman behind her threw a glance at Nemu by way of a large mirror, the curiosity written all over her face a strong indicator that Nemu hadn't sounded quite so nonchalant.

"Yeah hun?"

Nemu took a deep breath.

_I don't need to tell her anything specific. Generalities will do. And nothing ventured…_

"You know a good deal about relations between the sexes, do you not?"

Her response was a giggle, as Rangiku shook her head, her strawberry-blonde curls flying. "I guess you could say that, though it ain't even been put to me like that. What's your issue? I think I kinda remember you talking about something on Nanao's hen's night, though conversation details are seriously hazy. Actually, to be perfectly frank, all details are hazy. You got man trouble?"

Without thinking, Nemu responded, "I don't even know if he's willing to trouble me yet."

The giggle became a laugh. "Hell, if everyone could tell that, half the angst would be taken outta the equation. Most of the time no one's quite sure what their prospective other half is thinking. You just gotta take a leap of faith."

Nemu had been afraid of that.

**Sssstill think you're being moronic.**

_In case you were wondering, which I doubt, you are the furthest thing possible from helpful._

**Remind me to thank Tobiume and her wielder for your newfound ssssense of hyperbole. I'm ever ssssso grateful.**

_Not listening._

Ignoring her sword spirit, Nemu ventured a second question. "May I put a purely hypothetical situation to you?"

She wasn't sure if she liked the knowing sparkle in those ice blue eyes, or the smile that was thrown her way. "Go ahead."

"Say you had recently made a male friend, through various ways and means, and found yourself with feelings for him that went far deeper than friendship." Nemu cleared her throat nervously. "Are you with me so far?"

That smile was still there. "Definitely."

Nemu continued. "Once those feeling became apparent to you, let us all say then that you noticed certain… well, behaviours that indicated some form of interest was reciprocated, though you had no idea whether the attraction on their end was purely physical or if your feelings were returned."

"Ok, I get you."

Further deep breaths were required. "Rangiku-san, what would you do?"

A contemplative pause followed this.

"I won't give you a definite answer, because what I would do and what y – I mean, the character in this scenario would do mightn't be the same. Different circumstances, personalities and whatever, yeah?"

Rangiku bit her lip, deep in thought, before beginning slowly.

"I guess it depends. I mean, if he feels the same, all is right with the world and y'all live happily ever after and get to nauseate us single folk. If it's just attraction on his end, though, you need to consider a few things."

"Such as?" Nemu was intrigued now.

The other woman sighed. "Hell Nanao would probably kill me for being so frank with you about this shit, but who cares anyway? Knowledge is power. Anyway, if he wants you, you gotta decide whether you're willing to take just that from him. If you're going to be able to keep the relationship purely physical and just leave it at that. Some girls can. I guess they argue that anything is better than nothing at all. Most girls end up getting hurt over it, though, an' it's no good going in and assuming you can change his mind about how he feels – that only happens in the sort of books that heavily feature words like 'seduced', 'playboy' and 'mistress' in the titles and have really interesting front covers."

"Right." Nemu's head was spinning. "And when you said purely physical, you meant - "

"Sex", the other woman replied frankly, "and usually a hell of a lot of it."

"Right", Nemu repeated, blinking.

Rangiku snorted. "Don't tell me you've never considered it."

"I've considered it", Nemu responded, half in a daze, "but I don't think I ever considered it so… realistically."

_And now I don't think I can stop! This is appalling – I have to spend all day with this man! How in the living world am I going to converse sensibly with Jyuushiro if all I can think about – _

Something else occurred to her.

"Of course, this is all _hypothetical_", she emphasised.

The expression on Rangiku's face clearly informed her that such protests would not wash.

"Would you accept confidential, instead?" Nemu amended.

The older woman grinned. "Totally."

With a sigh of relief, Nemu looked around the room. "Are all of the windows open? It feels far too warm in here."

Another laugh bubbled up from Rangiku's direction. "Oh hun, you kill me. You're as oblivious as he is – it's perfect!"

Nemu decided to take another gamble. "If you know who both parties are, then could you give me some more specific advice?"

Rangiku wrinkled her nose. "I don't like doing that, because I can't be in other people's heads. I know nothing about your situation for sure. Hell, I ain't even clued in on just how deep _your_ feelings go, let alone his." She paused, and then shrugged. "To hell with it. I'll give you advice, you just gotta promise me you'll use your common sense as well, in case I've read all of this wrong."

"Given that I'm in such a fix in the first place", Nemu replied dryly, "one could probably successfully argue that my common sense is somewhat wanting."

"Use Momo's then", Rangiku remarked with a grin. "Anyway, I've seen the way he looks at you. I say go for it. You might not think he returns your feelings, but I think he's definitely on the same page. If he isn't…"

She frowned slightly. "If he isn't, then he's not the man everyone thinks he is, and that I doubt. 'Sides, even if it all goes wrong and your heart gets broken into millions of pieces, at least you'll have tried. Maybe I'm too much of a romantic, but with all of the shit that's happening right now, I say seize happiness where you can. Kami knows, that's what Nanao's doing."

"Have you been taking my name in vain?" Nanao slipped into the room, eyebrow raised.

"Not us", Rangiku grinned back. "Where were you?"

"Sending a rather important hell butterfly", she replied crisply, before smiling. "I may need help getting into my dress."

Nemu smiled back, rising from her seat. "Everything I've read about weddings says that this is your day. I'd say your wish is our command."

Rangiku chuckled to herself as they swept out of the room. "And ain't that what every woman likes to hear."

xXx

Shunsui Kyouraku wasn't exactly the panicking type.

At least, that was what Jyuushiro had always assumed. However, he was currently being provided with very solid evidence that indicated, every once in a while, Shun was a bundle of insecurities, wrapped in an air of debonair cool, wrapped in a gaudily patterned haori his fiancée had given up trying to dispose of.

In an attempt to stop the mad pacing across the room, Jyuushiro spoke up.

"I don't see what the problem is. Surely you're not getting cold feet?"

Shunsui wheeled around to stare wildly at him, his black and gold patterned haori billowing when he moved, as Stark shook his head in the background.

"Cold feet? Why would I get cold feet? Nanao is perfect. She's beautiful, intelligent, talented, sexy as hell in those glasses, and she has exquisite taste in everything – books, films, music - "

"Meaning", Stark drawled, "She has the same taste as you."

Shunsui barrelled on as though the other man hadn't spoken. "So what in Hueco Mundo is she doing with me?"

"Slumming it?"

"You're not helping, Stark", Jyuushiro returned, trying not to smile.

"I mean", Shunsui continued to rant, "what if she doesn't show up? What if she comes to her senses?"

The two groomsmen paused, before Stark held up both hands and shook his head. Jyuushiro grumbled out something that sounded like, "Thanks a bunch", to which Stark replied with a mumbled "You're better at this sort of thing".

Slightly mollified, Jyuushiro began. "If she were going to come to her senses, she would have done so long ago, not today. And Nanao wouldn't just not show up. She'd tell you in person beforehand or send a note. She's not into humiliating you publicly unless you've done something really stupid. Which you haven't done lately… Have you?"

As this sunk in, Shunsui looked horror struck, and sank onto the couch with a whimper, head in hands. While Jyuushiro mentally reviewed what he'd said, Stark, from the safety of the doorway added helpfully, "Huh. You sure do have a knack for this, Jyuu-kun."

'Jyuu-kun' was not in the mood. "Oh, for Kami's sake Shun, calm down! At least you have a fiancée. I'm in love with a woman who kissed me and then pretended it never happened. How's that supposed to work?"

"Well, damn", Stark threw in, "I could've sworn the invitation said 'wedding', not 'massive self-pity party'. You're both decorated captains and grown men – could you at least try to act like it? Besides, your prospects are better than mine. I can't seriously attempt a relationship with the woman I want without having the entirety of the Eleventh after me. Especially Ken-chan."

Anxiety gave way to confusion, in Shunsui at least. "Stark, if we're acting like this is a self-pity party, did you just offer to host?"

As Jyuushiro rolled his eyes, a hell butterfly gracefully winged its way through the open window heading toward Shunsui, who immediately emitted a noise that would possibly qualify as a squeal, and tried to flee. "If this is Nanao-chan's break up message, I don't want to hear it and you can't make me!"

With a snort, Stark began to laugh. "I knew it. You were the man for the job all right, Jyuushiro. A raging success in fact."

With a groan on his lips and one hand massaging his temple, Jyuushiro muttered, "Just help me pin him down so he can hear it. It could be something important."

Several very embarrassing minutes later, they succeeded. The hell butterfly descended on its target, narrowly avoiding where Stark had thrown himself over the groom's legs and stopping just short of where Jyuushiro restrained Shunsui's arms. Abruptly, the crisp tones of Nanao rang out.

"Shunsui."

This greeting was immediately greeted with an audible gulp from the message's recipient.

Almost as though she'd heard, the next part of Nanao's message was her sighing.

"Allow me to make several things clear. First and most importantly, I love you. Our immortality had always seemed to me to be a curse; an endless stretch of time that simply leaves burnt-out husks and washes away what's important. With you, on the other hand, immortality has a purpose; it's new and exciting and I know that there is someone worth waking up to everyday.

For Kami's sake, don't let it go to your head.

I'm sending you this because I know you Shun, better than you know yourself. And I know that, under all the bluster and wacky shenanigans, lies a man with his own share of insecurities. Consider this my way of reassuring you that I want to marry you – in fact, I'd love nothing more than to do so.

So stop worrying, you moron.

If I have, on the other hand, misjudged you and you are about to bolt and leave me at the altar, just know that I will hunt you down and make you very, very, excruciatingly sorry.

All my love,

Your Nanao-chan."

The hell butterfly shifted its wings restlessly, before alighting and fluttering out the nearest window.

Silence reigned in the room.

Suddenly, and without any warning, Shunsui sprung up and dusted himself off, straightening his haori with a new grin starting to form on his face. Clearing his throat he murmured, "Right then. Don't know what I was worried about." Eyebrows raised, Stark followed suit, muttering, "Damn, that woman is uncanny. Bloody brilliant, but uncanny."

As Jyuushiro sat on the floor, shaking his head, the date-related panic that had left him at this diversion started to steal back.

_Calm down – it's not as though I've never conversed with her before. We've talked plenty of times, on any number of topics and it's always been enjoyable. Nemu is an excellent conversationalist, when given half a chance to demonstrate it, and has a quick and clever tongue..._

_For talking! Purely for – dammit. Just great. Apparently now that Nanao is making an honest man out of Shun, I have to be the pervert in the friendship. Kami knows, these days it wouldn't be too far a step._

_How the hell am I going to do this?_

A cushion to the back of his head ended this reverie.

"Jyuu-kun, fix your hair. It's time to get me hitched!"

xXx

Jyuushiro would have liked to remember Shunsui and Nanao's wedding in detail. After all, he'd been waiting for the event from the moment he'd first witnessed Nanao telling Shunsui off and, more importantly, the adoring expression on Shunsui's face throughout the aforementioned lecture.

From the moment that Nemu had walked down the aisle, though, Jyuushiro found it very difficult to concentrate.

Her long, dark hair was partially pulled back, allowing soft waves to fall to her waist. The dress itself was simple enough; a long column of violet with a reasonably modest neckline, but it clung lovingly to every curve and the jewel-tone of the dress made Nemu's eyes look brighter and her lips an even deeper red.

Was it any wonder, then, that Rangiku Matsumoto, the siren of the Seireitei, barely got a look from him and Nanao, only the most cursory of glances? Once he had safely ascertained, however, that the bride looked lovely in her delicately beaded dress, it was back to watching Nemu, who moved with a grace that made staring at her seem like the most natural reaction possible.

At least, until Stark nudged him and he realised that he probably looked a little silly.

Shunsui, mercifully, had not noticed, largely because he was staring at Nanao in much the same fashion. As she came to a halt beside him, Nanao took his hand, rolling her eyes when he flourished dramatically and kissed it, but retaining her broad smile nonetheless.

The ceremony, as Jyuushiro experienced it, passed by without incident, with the exception of Stark having to nudge him again and remind him to hand over the rings. This time, it wasn't Nemu-watching that was the problem, but his attempts to concentrate on _not_ Nemu-watching that had him distracted.

He also had to rule said attempts mostly unsuccessful, though he was fairly sure no one had noticed his fixation, including its object, who was blissfully unaware the entire time and smiling wistfully to herself.

In what could only be an entirely unrelated circumstance, Stark spent most of the ceremony shaking with silent laughter beside him. Jyuushiro decided that this was at some private joke, decided not to press the matter, and utterly failed to notice that the laughter became harder to conceal when he failed in his attempts to stop watching Nemu.

He also utterly failed to notice that, whenever it chanced that he succeeded in his quest to stop looking, a pair of deep green eyes would immediately fix themselves on him, only to shift when he looked their way once more.

xXx

The reception was a somewhat casual affair, held in less than casual settings. As Shunsui had pointed out to Jyuushiro, he didn't want a noble wedding. Unfortunately, Shunsui, while wielding a considerable amount of power, was not the head of his house. That frightful (according to Shunsui) duty had gone to another branch of the family, one that insisted that some of the forms be followed and the reception be held somewhere other than Shunsui's backyard or favourite drinking spot.

However, they could remove the wedding from Shunsui-related locales, Jyuushiro mused, but they sure as hell couldn't remove Shun from the wedding, which was why the largest ballroom in Kyouraku House was currently full of semi-tipsy and very relaxed shinigami and a few annoyed and prim looking nobles that claimed the Kyouraku connection.

Said ballroom also contained Nemu, a fact that Jyuushiro was all too aware of. She was currently dancing with Renji, and he was forced to remind himself that not only was Captain Abarai already in a relationship, but that said relationship was with a man, which made it highly unlikely that anything untoward would happen to make Jyuushiro take him outside later and 'deal with him'.

In any case, Senbonzakura would probably get there first.

Nemu had no shortage of dance partners tonight and Jyuushiro had not yet been one of them, a fact that currently had him staring morosely at his drink and trying to avoid all happy couples.

Given that he was currently at a wedding, this was no easy feat.

Everywhere he turned, someone was doing better in the romance department than he was. Whether it was Shunsui and Nanao, still dancing cheek to cheek despite the fact their wedding waltz had ended quite some time ago, or watching Rukia's face light up when Ichigo finally asked her to join him on the dance floor, it was just getting depressing and frankly –

"Dessert's out. You got the bags?"

The buffet table behind him was speaking. That… was just odd.

"Contrary to popular belief, Chiru, I am not a moron. I brought the napkins too."

Jyuushiro knew that voice all too well. Carefully rising from his chair, he walked quietly toward the table.

"Sweet, this is gonna be the candy heist of the - "

All speech was abruptly cut off, as Jyuushiro jerked the tablecloth up to reveal both Stark, his fellow groomsman, and Stark's partner in crime.

"Hi Shiro-chan! We were just, uh, liberating the candy." Yachiru grinned, pulling bubblegum-pink bangs behind her ears as she straightened her dress and rose from behind the table. Stark, looking decidedly guilty, followed suit.

Jyuushiro crossed his arms. "You know, the candy is supposed to be for everyone."

She shrugged. "They're all busy out there. 'Sides, Mopey-chan and I have sweet teeth."

As far as Jyuushiro was aware, Stark had a taste for sweet food that was no more extreme than anyone else's. He raised an eyebrow at his friend, which was met with a faint blush and a glare. With this new information, Jyuushiro turned back to Yachiru, who was clearly oblivious to their exchange and had used it as an opportunity to scoop more candy into the beaded bag on her arm.

Jyuushiro sighed. She might have grown up, but some elements of her personality had clearly remained unchanged.

"Fine, I didn't see a thing. Run along and _liberate_ the candy. Stark, you owe me."

"Figures", the former Espada muttered, as they both slipped away to the next bowl, further down the table.

Left to himself once more, he peered across the room and spotted Nemu dancing with Kira, and tried not to feel too jealous.

_After all, Kira is her best friend's partner. If he tries anything, Nemu will be the first to slap him down. Still…_

This train of thought almost distracted him from the familiar spiritual presence drawing alongside him, but not quite. He looked up, only to be shocked into standing.

"Head Captain!"

The older man sighed and gave him a weary smile. "Please don't stand upon ceremony with me, Jyuushiro. That's all anyone ever does these days." He settled himself into the chair next to his old protégé's and grimaced. "Not that I don't understand why."

Running a hand through his hair distractedly, Jyuushiro replied, "I see both sides of this, and far too clearly. Yes, you made some poor decisions, and yes, you would lose a lot of our trust over that. But you weren't the only one fooled. Everyone forgets that. You made the decisions that made perfect sense at the time, and we all went along with them. You have pressures on you that captains aren't in a position to understand and no one seems to remember that if not for you, we'd still be facing Aizen." Shaking his head, he muttered, "I'm certainly not saying I absolve you of everything, but we all share the responsibility of what happened the last few centuries, and seeing you made a convenient scapegoat gets old."

The Captain-Commander smiled sadly. "I appreciate your understanding. You see into the heart of things well, Jyuushiro. You always have. It's a worthy trait in one who would lead, and I have no doubt it will serve you well."

With a frown, he replied, "Well, now I'm just baffled. Shouldn't it have already served me well?"

"Jyuushiro", the Head Captain began, that same smile on his face, "it cannot possibly have escaped your notice that I am far from popular with the rest of our comrades. The time will come, and I have no doubt it will be soon, when they will follow me no more, or this war will claim my life. Who do you suppose would lead them then?"

Jyuushiro's mouth felt dry as he fought to speak. "You're talking about succession. Are you - " He cleared his throat and tried again. "Are you saying that you're naming me your successor?"

The older man chuckled. "No Jyuushiro, I'm saying that you don't need me to. They already defer to you in serious matters and follow your lead. You have that core of personal integrity that draws people to you and an understanding of humanity that surpasses most people's. Couple this with the fact that your are considerably powerful and one of the most senior shinigami… No, you don't need me to name you. You would be their first choice in any case."

His eyelids were working. Jyuushiro was quite sure of that, since all he could do right now was blink, but the rest of him was still and showed no signs of regaining the ability to move. As if he sensed Jyuushiro's discomfort, the Captain Commander turned away to smile at Shunsui and Nanao where they danced.

"I am happy for him, happy beyond words. I would have you let him know. Shunsui has made it clear he does not wish for my company overmuch, ever since the incident at Soukyoku Hill." The older man cleared his throat. "I would also have him know that it was never my intention to harm either of you that day. I simply could not let such a transgression go unnoticed."

His voice finally working, Jyuushiro croaked out, "I will. I don't know how much Shun will listen… I'll do what I can."

"Thank you." The Head Captain's smile had returned in full force, this time without its bittersweet edge. As he peered over to where Nemu was now laughing with Momo and Kira, he also added nonchalantly, "I am happy for you too, Jyuushiro. She is not the obvious choice but, now that I see it, I cannot think of anyone better suited to you. I'm glad for her sake, too – I never thought to see Mayuri Kurotsuchi's daughter laugh so freely."

Had his limbs been working as well as his voice, Jyuushiro probably would have been flailing right about now. As it was, all flailing was mental, and conveyed through spluttering and a strangled, "Wha – does everyone know? I haven't even told _her_ yet!" Calming down with several deep breaths and shaking his head as he sighed, Jyuushiro added, "I do like to see her happy. I think she is, but she rarely shows it so clearly. I wonder - " Looking around to spot the source of the group's mirth, he saw two things; the first Nanao standing back, shaking her head, and the second Shunsui and Captain Hisagi proceeding to compete in the most terrifyingly uncoordinated dance-off the Seireitei would have ever seen.

"Oh Kami. Please tell me someone is filming this. I want Shun to relive the horror so that he understands why we try to prevent this every time we go out."

The old man chuckled. "I wouldn't worry about that. I am fairly sure I spotted Isshin trailing about with a video camera. If you don't tell Shunsui, he will, and loudly, with as many spectators as possible." Carefully, he rose from his chair, the smile still lingering on his face.

Jyuushiro smiled back. "I'll see you around, Yama-jii."

With a grin at the rarely used nickname, the Captain Commander clapped Jyuushiro on the shoulder. "Thank you. Oh, and good luck", he added, signalling to some point over Jyuushiro's shoulder as he departed.

Jyuushiro waved him off, a faint frown of confusion crossing his features as he turned around in his seat.

_Good luck for wha… _

_Oh. Kami. _

"Hello Jyuushiro."

_Well, that's killed any chance I had of developing a coherent thought process._

Nemu was right there behind him, her cheeks faintly flushed from the effort of dancing, her lips parted and her green eyes watching him curiously. With the same light step she had used to such effect while dancing, she pulled out the chair beside him and settled herself in, a faint smile on her lips.

"I am afraid I have been neglecting my date."

One minute ago, Jyuushiro had been mentally grumbling a similar complaint, but now, faced with Nemu and seeing her happiness, it all seemed to fall away.

"Not at all. I was just discussing matters with the Captain Commander and I previously aided the side of the resistance in the war of candy subjugation", he pointed out, with a grin.

"Ah. Yachiru, I take it?" Her smile broadened.

"With a partner in crime." He shook his head, chuckling to himself. "So, how was the dancing?"

Nemu took a deep breath.

_I am doing better at this; my attempt to act as though nothing has happened. Certainly, we are conversing with more ease. But I am not happy with this. Perhaps Rangiku-san had a point – it would be better to take what I can, now. We could lose all of this so quickly. _

Quickly, she took up the conversation once more. "It was enjoyable, but not entirely." Clearing her throat and hoping for the best, she continued. "You see, I have not yet had the pleasure of dancing with you."

He met her gaze sharply and held it, the lights of the ballroom playing on the dual colours of his eyes, but not hiding the heat behind the look. She took another, shakier breath.

_I need to stay calm. I need to think this through. I need to be capable of rational thought._

_I need to dance with you. Jyuushiro, please._

There was a question in her eyes, though what exactly she was asking Jyuushiro hadn't the faintest clue. He did, however, know that the answer was probably yes, and would probably always be yes where Nemu was concerned. He wasn't sure how this factored into her plans to forget what happened that night, but frankly, he'd stopped caring the moment she'd indicted she wished to dance with him.

_I'm probably setting myself up for a serious fall here, but I don't care any more. I might not be ready to lay all my cards on the table, but I think tonight I can start to reveal part of my hand._

He stood up, and held out his hand with a smile. "For you, my lady, anything."

There was something to how he said that that had Nemu shivering, not with cold or fear, but with anticipation. Carefully rising, she took his hand and allowed him to lead her out into the masses currently located on the dance floor.

Once they reached a clear space he immediately drew her flush against him, curling an arm around her waist and taking her hand in his. It was intoxicating, Jyuushiro decided, having her this close to him, in his arms. As they began to dance she moulded to him, and the simple waltz became something much more heated, where each touch lingered and every step demanded more. He could feel her hand in his tremble slightly, and he took comfort in the knowledge that, perhaps, he was not alone in feeling this. In an effort to clear his head and attempt to ignore just how good her body felt partially entwined with his, he tried speech.

"So, given how many dance partners you've had tonight, how am I doing?" Internally he winced.

_Kami, bad choice of questions. Nemu is too honest and I'm probably about to hear something I don't like. Just please, Kami, if she prefers anyone's dancing, let it be Renji's – then I might still be in with a chance._

_I mean, I'd have the advantage of actually liking her gender, for a start._

She simply smiled in response, though her head was spinning. Jyuushiro was far too close for her to be able to think clearly, yet she was inclined to draw him closer still. She blamed his scent – he smelled far too good. It wasn't fair. However, in the interests of not giving herself away, it was time to answer the question he had put to her, a simple question that didn't have a single safe answer.

Steeling herself, she made an attempt. "It would be impolite of me to say that anyone but my date was my favourite dance partner. It also helps that it is the truth."

Nemu fought back the urge to wince.

_I did not intend that last part to be spoken aloud. I need to keep my head – who knows what else I might say? Stay calm._

Quickly, to cover her slip, she added, "I admit, I am surprised to have found so many dance partners. Most people still associate me with my father, and that link is hardly a flattering one. I had long since resigned myself to the fact that no man would ever consider me in a romantic sense when, perhaps, this is not entirely true." This was getting too personal, but the champagne Rangiku-san had given her earlier in the night did not seem inclined toward helping her stop this train of thought. Laughing bitterly to herself, she added, "Still, it would take a rather unusual man to be interested in me. I am hardly what could be called a catch."

She'd said something wrong, she knew it. He'd stilled entirely, and was now looking at her with a gaze she could not fathom.

"Why would you say such a thing?" The question was asked light-heartedly, but there was an undercurrent of something there that had Nemu choosing her words carefully.

Haltingly, she began, "My relationship to my father, the traitor, is hardly a positive connection. But in person I am blunt. I have never mastered the art of 'social dishonesty', as people call it. There is so much that I do not understand about other people, having never been brought up as one of them. I would be an embarrassment to a partner in social situations. Outside of my circle of friends, I am dreadfully uncomfortable in people's presence, and I know I spend far too much time in the lab dealing with bizarre and potentially alarming problems, my captain least of all. I - " She faltered. "I'm not real – I was created, and for a purpose. I was never meant to be like everyone else."

He was silent, and Nemu couldn't help berating herself internally as her head drooped; she couldn't meet his eyes.

_Well, that's done it. If he hadn't already considered these impediments before, he certainly will now. It is time to get out, before I give myself away and do something idiotic._

_Or, rather, more idiotic_.

She was jolted out of her thoughts by the hand that caught up her chin and forced her to look at him. Jyuushiro had a familiar expression on his face, one she had seen when he defended her in the bar that night the war became far too real and close. It stole her breath away and made her feel at once paralysed and… safe. She felt safe.

"I am going to make this clear once and for all", he began, his eyes boring into hers. "You are real. You're more real to me than most of the people in this room. If someone doesn't accept you as you are, that's their problem and you're worth better than that. You might have been created for a set purpose, but you've well and truly surpassed that." She hadn't thought he could get closer, but there he was. If he closed another two inches, his lips could meet hers…

"Nemu, you're lovely, honest, strong, witty and bloody brilliant." Jyuushiro suppressed a wry smile.

_So much for only some cards on the table. I might as well be honest._

Clearing his throat, he murmured, "Any sane man would want you."

Nemu blinked.

_I… I can't think. He's too close. This…_

_This is_ _all well and good, but one question remains._

_Are you sane, Jyuushiro?_

She couldn't bring herself to ask, not when he was right there, and looking at her as though she was something incredible. She wanted to lean forward and kiss him, make him feel as breathless as he made her, but –

A rolling boom of thunder startled her.

_Good. I need space. I need to step back and assess the situation_…

Easier said than done. Her voice no more than a whisper, she said, "Sounds like it's going to storm."

Suddenly, he frowned. "No, it - " He turned her around, to face the same, wide windows that he faced. Windows that looked out onto a sky filled with stars. "There's not a cloud in the sky."

Ice tinged her spine as a second boom sounded. "Then where's it coming from?"

He turned back and looked behind her, the colour leaving his face. "West Rukongai."

_It can't be, it's too cruel. Please don't let it be that._

"You don't think - "

"I do." Retrieving his zanpakuto from his side, Jyuushiro replied grimly, "I think they've finally brought the fight to us."

xXx

**So, it's good to be back. Now all that remains to be seen is if you think it's good for me to be back.**

**R and R, y'all. Now that I'm finally free of RL for a bit, the chapters should be pretty regular (and plenty of 'em). Think of it as my way of making up for the wait.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: There is only one owner of Bleach and, given that there are over six billion people on this planet, the likelihood of it being me is…**

**Infinitesimal, to say the least. **

**Bleach ain't mine. Just so we're clear.**

**Listening to: Kasabian – 'Underdog' and Queens of the Stone Age – 'First it Giveth'.**

Chapter Thirteen

Nemu didn't think – she just reacted.

When Nanao had designed the dresses for the wedding party, she had included one rather unusual feature in each gown – a split down the side of the skirt revealing a concealed zanpakuto and quite a bit of leg. Nanao had wanted to be prepared and, as she had pointed out repeatedly, they were all on high alert. A wedding was no reason to relax protocol.

Of course, Rangiku had immediately announced that she would probably be using this design feature a little differently during the reception, but the central idea had remained.

Nemu had never been more grateful for Nanao's insistence on following protocol.

Carefully unbuttoning her dress, she watched as Jyuushiro's eyes widened in surprise.

"Uh, ok", he stammered. "Not the reaction most people would expect, but I'm sure I can roll with it - "

Ignoring him, she undid the final button that sat mid-thigh, feeling the skirt part and allow her to retrieve Chikyuu-Kosshi. As she held the weapon aloft, she heard Jyuushiro break off mid sentence and mutter, "Well, that makes much more sense."

She frowned. "What were you expecting?"

He completely ignored her question, in favour of surveying the room and failing to dispel the faint blush rising on his cheeks. Panic reigned, with shinigami scrambling toward exits and searching for back up weapons. From just behind her, Nemu heard someone step forward, and whirled with Jyuushiro to meet a pair of commanding black eyes, set in an aged face. Nemu blinked. In all her years as a shinigami, she had never been anywhere near this close to the General, and it was more than a little daunting, especially given the circumstances.

"Sir", Jyuushiro nodded, one hand on his sword hilt as he shrugged off his jacket.

The Captain-Commander returned the nod. "They have picked their time well. We need to move quickly. I need you to take the lead here – I have to return to the Seireitei and mobilise the rest of our forces. Do what you can to keep Shunsui and his bride out of this."

"Understood", Jyuushiro replied curtly, striding off toward his best friend.

Nemu watched him go, with a constricted feeling in her chest that she recognised dimly as fear. She wasn't afraid for herself, not anymore, but now… There were so many people she cared for now, she realised. So many she wouldn't be able to bear losing, and Jyuushiro most of all.

Belatedly, she realised that the Captain-Commander had not yet left, and was watching her intently, black eyes seeming to see right through her. She fought the urge to shiver, and stared back, steeling himself. Abruptly, a bittersweet smile crossed his face as he reached out and patted her shoulder.

"I never fail to be thankful that I made the decision to let you stay among us", he began, his gruff voice more emotional than she could ever recall hearing it. "Of late, I have had even more cause to feel so." Squeezing her shoulder before releasing it, he nodded to Jyuushiro. "Take care of him."

Nemu fought the urge to blink. "Of course I will, I - " She cut herself off, surprised at what she had almost let herself reveal.

Apparently, she shouldn't have even bothered. His smile warmed. "I know." Without giving her the time to react, he flashed out, leaving her almost gaping after him, attempting to collect her thoughts.

xXx

"No! I am a lieutenant of the Gotei Thirteen – you promoted me yourself, even if it was just to hit on me - and I have served with distinction in that role for fifty years. I don't give a damn if it is my wedding day – I'm going out there and making sure you don't get yourself killed, you idiot!"

Somehow, Jyuushiro didn't think that getting Nanao off the field was going to be easy. Shunsui certainly wasn't having any success.

"Nanao", his best friend began, "I know I ask a lot of you, but I need you to do this, please. I don't want to see you get - "

"I am a shinigami, Shunsui", she replied tartly, "it's part of the job description. I would love to be able to tell you to stay out of this for your own safety, but I'm at least mature enough to know I can't change what we are."

"You know I can't do that - "

"Precisely! So why in Hueco Mundo do you expect me to be able to do the same?"

It was time to step in. Jyuushiro cleared his throat, drawing the attention of both parties. "Actually, neither of you are going out on the field today and - "

That was as far as he got. Immediately he was greeted with both his best friend and his best friend's new wife arguing their cases and, try as he might, he couldn't get a word in edgewise until –

"SILENCE!"

Quiet spread throughout the room, as everyone turned to face Nemu who, with a zanpakuto in her hand, was suddenly looking rather intimidating.

And, according to the less advanced part of Jyuushiro's brain, kind of hot.

Pushing that thought to the back of his mind, he recalled something. "Amplifiers in your design?"

She nodded, a faint smile flickering across her face. "Indeed."

The corner of his mouth twitched upward. "Thanks."

Turning to face the gathered crowd, he took a deep breath. "The General has left me in charge of the group stationed here while he rallies the rest. I won't lie to you – things look serious. They couldn't have timed this attack any better if they tried."

His gaze went to Shunsui and Nanao. "Don't think you're getting a free pass because today's your wedding day. This could get very nasty and I need you to do three things – cover the Fourth, prepare to cover our retreat and prepare to provide reinforcements. I'm sending any other members of the Eighth with you, as well as anyone who's imbibed a little too much." That, he decided, should smooth any ruffled feathers. Shunsui and Nanao still looked less than pleased, but at least they were now focusing their attention away from the battlefield.

Jyuushiro continued. "The Fourth need to head back to the Seireitei and get ready for what's probably going to be an impressive onslaught. Lady Yoruichi, what is the status of your group? You may dispense them as you see fit."

The noblewoman looked around. "All present and accounted for except for Lisa, who's escorting a drunk captain home. All right, then! Ryoka, with the healers, Vizard and Isshin with me or Jyuushiro – take your pick. The family guard are with Captain Soi Fon. I would like to request that Kisuke and the Twelfth work with Kuukaku Shiba on the grounds that they both like exploding things."

"Done", Jyuushiro replied, with a regretful look at Nemu, who was beginning to make her way over to the group. Kisuke shook his head. "I insist that my lieutenant continue working with the remainder of the force – you may need someone with our squad's expertise in there."

"Very well", Jyuushiro replied, trying not to sound too thrilled. "There remain only two more obstacles to overcome. Captain Soi Fon, are you sufficiently recovered to go into battle?"

The petite woman nodded, which was greeted with a growl from the man next to her. Her eyes narrowed. "I am capable, no matter what my lieutenant suggests."

"I would suggest", Jyuushiro responded delicately, "that you utilise your bankai abilities before things get too hectic in order to minimise numbers and conserve your strength. Now, Captain Tu Oderschvank - "

"For the love of Kami-sama, just call me Nel", she muttered. He grinned. "Fine, Nel. I need to ask, though – does Lieutenant Schiffer have any orders pertaining to this fight?"

Nel froze, her eyes losing their spark. Her lieutenant and lover's role as double agent had never had her approval. "You will have to ask the lieutenant himself - "

"I have not." Ulquiorra walked forward to stand beside Nel, his bright green eyes upon her all the while. "I pass information only. If they have any complaint about casualties at my hands, I will simply remind them that they requested I maintain a believable cover."

Nel still looked less than pleased, but there was little Jyuushiro could do about that now. If they were lucky enough to get through this, he could apologise for bluntly bringing up something that upset her, but until then…

As his hand unconsciously reached for Nemu's, who took it and held it tightly, Jyuushiro hefted his zanpakuto. "We move out, then. Explosives first to thin the numbers, and then move in on my signal."

He took a deep breath and squeezed Nemu's hand.

"Don't hold back. We fight to survive."

xXx

It was like staring into the sun, Nemu decided as they raced toward their destination. The sheer wave of spiritual pressure that had been unleashed made the air feel thick, even hostile. They passed through the Rukongai, ignoring the thousands of souls fleeing in the opposite direction. If the shinigami succeeded, the civilians would be out of the line of fire. If they did not…

Well, it wouldn't matter where they ran.

Nemu took a deep breath, her hand still in Jyuushiro's as they flashed toward their destination. It was time to think.

"Jyuushiro?"

He turned to look at her, slowing his pace slightly. "Hmmm?"

She had to ask. "What's the worst case scenario in terms of what we're facing? I just…" She trailed off, unsure of how to proceed.

He smiled sadly. "You just want to be prepared? Fine, but it isn't pretty. From what we've gathered, they could have almost ten vasto lorde at their disposal. They still have seven Espada left, though, and we know for certain that two of them are serious threats. In other words, we're - "

"I do not think it will be as bad as that", Ulquiorra broke in from behind them. "Yes, I sense vasto lorde, but only three or four, and they would not have deployed their full strength yet. Any Espada I sense are far weaker than the originals, with one exception – Yammy Rialgo is here."

Jyuushiro swore to himself, as Nemu replied, "Who is capable of taking him on?"

Ulquiorra shrugged. "I honestly cannot say. I certainly had the wisdom never to attempt it myself."

"Comforting", Nel muttered dryly, from where she strode next to them. "Ulquiorra, can you scout for the General's group? We need to know how far away they are. I can see the cero flashes up ahead – are we close enough to give the order to loose projectiles? I can sense none of ours, yet."

"Almost", Jyuushiro replied, lifting his hand to signal. He could feel the hum in the air as shinigami, Vizard and the odd arrancar charged their weapons and began to shift into their various release forms. As yet another explosion flared, lighting the district around them, Jyuushiro unsealed his zanpakuto, holding both blades at the ready.

"STRIKE!"

Cero, kido, explosives, fireworks, lightening and several very large boulders hurtled toward the clearing up ahead and made an impressive impact, highlighted by the animalistic screams of their targets. The resulting explosion seemed to burn white-hot, but there was still movement toward their position. Suddenly, a hulking giant broke through the trees that stood between the shinigami and the clearing, a giant that seemed to grow larger with every step he took toward them.

"Awww, shit," Grimmjow muttered. "Yammy got bigger _again_."

"That could be a problem", Stark conceded. "And – BALA! Get out of here!"

Sure enough, the massive ball of energy streaked toward them, scorching the grass it flew over. There was no time to react, as Jyuushiro held both his swords up, hoping for a miracle –

That came in the form of a massive rock wall that appeared between Yammy and his foes. Jyuushiro struggled not to gasp as the blow hit the wall with a mighty crash, shaking the ground so hard people lost their balance.

Miraculously, the wall held.

Jyuushiro whirled to face Nemu, who stood there, her sword planted in the ground and her expression white and strained. "I can't hold for another", she whispered, "he's far too strong - "

Jyuushiro didn't need to be told twice. "Everyone! Drop back to the trees! I'll cover you," he called, as he hefted his swords. A barrage of lightening rained down, blinding their foes, as he grabbed Nemu and all but carried her out of the line of fire. She was gasping for breath. "He's as strong as you, I think", she began, attempting to regain her feet, as Jyuushiro watched Yammy from the safety of the trees, "but it is different. He is all brute strength, whereas your power has a little more depth to it." Carefully she rose, picking up her zanpakuto once more. "All the same, I would not like to see you face him alone."

"Duly noted", Jyuushiro responded quietly, "but at this point, I see little choice in the matter - "

Out of nowhere, great tongues of fire shot across the ground, enveloping Yammy where he stood, as a familiar figure strode forth, robes dispatched and revealing the physique of a considerably younger man. "Deal with the rest", the Captain-Commander called out. "This one I will handle."

Jyuushiro started forth, out of his hiding place. "But - "

Black eyes turned to meet hazel. "Go, Jyuushiro. Now."

So they ran, launching themselves on the field of battle with a ferocity that startled their opponents. Nemu stayed by his side as he moved, plunging her sword into the earth and letting loose a torrent of rock wherever she stood, her movement swift and economical. Her dress was torn and smeared with gore, but still she persisted, to the point of loosing her sword from the ground and fighting in close quarters to keep him protected. She whirled through battle; striking down any who came near them with a grace that Jyuushiro decided was far too distracting for close-quarters fights. But still their enemies came on, unrelenting.

He caught glimpses, here and there, of Rukia and Ichigo taking on one of the vasto lorde with a good deal of success. He was also fairly sure he spotted two members of the Eleventh furtively glance about, before both unleashing what could only be bankai upon their respective vasto lorde opponents.

Jyuushiro blinked.

_The Eleventh really is a bit of a madhouse, isn't it?_

Almost as if on cue, Kenpachi Zaraki streaked by, his sword in hand and a grin on his face as he roared out, "Which mother fucker has the balls to take a free shot?"

Jyuushiro was going to guess no one. Kenpachi would find an opponent the way he usually did – by not offering them any choice in the matter.

Without warning, Ulquiorra landed beside them, only to narrowly avoid being taken out by Nemu, who stopped Chikyuu-Kosshi just short of his throat.

He blinked, before recovering himself. "Excellent reflexes, Lieutenant Kurotsuchi."

She gave him a faint smile, before nodding to Jyuushiro. "You can thank my sensei for that."

"Remind me to do so." Ulquiorra remarked in a wry tone, as he blasted the area around them with bright green cero, removing any immediate threats.

Electing to ignore _that_ name, Jyuushiro queried, "What news?"

"It goes our way", Ulquiorra stated. "Though, it was close for some time. There is still a vasto lorde about. It has taken out Lieutenant Kotsubaki of the Ninth and is currently being engaged by Shinji Hirako and Hiyori Sarugaki. It should be dealt with soon. Casualties among the rank and file have been heavy, though not as devastating as we feared."

Jyuushiro nodded, as he swiftly dodged a cero. "That is probably all we could have hoped for. Espada?"

"Wasn't Yammy enough?" Nel called out dryly, as she rode down an arrancar trying to shoot cero at the group. She spun; lance in hand, ready to meet her next opponent.

"Yammy, obviously", Ulquiorra continued. "Wonderweiss has taken to referring to himself as Primera, but isn't present. The Seventh was here – no one I was familiar with. Grimmjow dealt with him, removed the arm that this Espada's marking was on, and has proceeded to 'pimp slap' any enemies he meets with it. At least, this was according to him – I did not wish to ask for clarification." A slightly pained look on his face, the former Espada continued. "Any attempt to make him cease such tasteless behaviour will not be met with obedience – he is still unhappy that you allowed Captain Soi Fon onto the field."

"And she would have been unhappy had I not allowed her on", Jyuushiro pointed out. "The difference is, she's the captain. And a trained assassin who knows where I sleep."

"Touché", Nemu replied, an amused smile on her face, before she turned to question Ulquiorra. "Any other Espada?"

At this, he frowned. "No, and that puzzles me. Yammy was never sent out without a sufficiently powerful keeper – usually me – he's not bright enough to keep himself out of trouble and is far too impetuous."

"He's the more powerful", Nemu said slowly. "Lieutenant Schiffer, does Wonderweiss strike you as someone able to tolerate a person of lesser intelligence being more powerful or highly ranked than himself?"

Ulquiorra's eyes widened. "No. Indeed he does not. Are you suggesting - "

"He may wish to be Primera in position, as well as name", Jyuushiro breathed. "Shit. What does that make this, then? A distraction?"

"No." Ulquiorra's response was unequivocal. "He is no fool. He wouldn't expend a useful ally so, not unless there was a good cause. For that same reason, he wouldn't bring down Yammy himself, even though he's probably capable."

"So he's been sent here for a good reason", Nel broke in. "A specific purpose – one worth losing him over."

"But what that could be…" Nemu trailed off, deep in thought.

Jyuushiro frowned to himself, before asking, "What about the Captain-Commander?"

Ulquiorra shook his head. "There's no telling how that fight will end. Once I would have backed the General over anyone, but he has aged, whether we want to believe it or not. And now…"

"That settles it", Jyuushiro replied. "We have got to provide support. Things are almost cleared up on our end, and we're better served…" He cleared his throat, trying again. "If the worst does happen, we need to be on hand to contain Yammy." He paused, staring down at the zanpakuto in his hands.

"It may be unnecessary", Nemu said softly, "but it is the right move to make."

Looking up once more, he met her eyes, and nodded.

"Let's go."

xXx

It became even hotter as they approached, the air even thicker with reiatsu.

Nemu surprised herself by being able to keep up with the other three, especially given that the other three consisted of two captains of the Gotei Thirteen and an ex-vasto lorde. She could only suppose that all of her extra training with Jyuushiro had paid off – while it was getting harder and harder to move so energetically, at least she had no difficulties breathing.

_At least if all else fails, Jyuushiro has made me a more capable shinigami, even if he does not wish for my romantic companionship._

**Any other time,** her sword spirit broke in, **I would be very grateful that you were recognising your feelingsss. Now, however, issss not the time!**

As much as Nemu would have preferred not to admit it, Chikyuu-Kosshi had a point – she couldn't afford to be distracted. Jyuushiro, on the other hand, was not helping matters. After all, if a man continued to look far too good even when his white dress shirt was torn, bloodied and smeared with grime (much like the rest of him), as he strode around purposefully, a determined light in his eyes and weapons gripped at the ready in both hands…

Nemu blinked, unsure of how to finish that sentence.

_Huh. I appear to have lost my train of thought. No, that was it – how am I supposed to remain entirely focused? _

_Hmmm… Perhaps Chikyuu-Kosshi has a very good point._

There were fewer and fewer beings present as they headed toward the centre of combat, but not so few that they could afford to relax their guard. One opportunistic arrancar elected to take advantage of Nemu's distracted state of mind, and dropped from a nearby tree, sword outstretched and ready to bite –

Only to be met by someone white-haired and furious.

Jyuushiro roared as he let fly with both swords, his first strike biting into the arm that held the weapon, leaving his opponent to drop it and howl in pain. Said howl was short-lived, though, as Jyuushiro's second sword slammed into the creature's belly, emerging through the other side as the arrancar twitched its last. Jyuushiro wasn't inclined to stop there, though. He whipped his weapons away from his one-time foe and planted them in the ground, before striding over to where Nemu was, her face shocked and pale.

Without thinking, he grabbed her by the shoulders, not even stopping to consider as the words streamed from his mouth. "What the hell where you doing?" He shook her once, almost as if he were hoping to jar some sense into her. "You could have been killed! All it takes is one lucky blow! You can't afford to be that distracted, and I can't afford to lose - " He broke off, partially collecting himself before he continued. "Just please, please be more careful."

Jyuushiro didn't care if he was begging and sounded more than a little hysterical. He just needed her to listen and keep herself safe, even if it meant she thought he was a little mad. "Please, Nemu, promise me you'll be more careful."

He looked terrified of something, she decided, something out of his control. His eyes seemed even more changeable than they were ordinarily, and the expression on his face was so close to pleading that she couldn't stop what she did next. Carefully laying her free hand against his cheek, Nemu softly replied, "I promise. I will not be so distracted again."

Despite his agitation, Jyuushiro couldn't help the thrill that went through him when she touched him. It felt like his whole body was crying out for him to draw her closer, to explain just why she made him so crazy.

_She's right there. I could kiss her – if she really did not wish for it to happen again, I could plead battle adrenaline and at least I would have gotten to taste her once more. Who cares if we're in battle? Who cares if we're needed elsewhere? Who cares if Nel and Ulquiorra are right there? It would only be for a moment – _

_Hang on._

_Nel and Ulquiorra. Right there._

Reluctantly, Jyuushiro drew back, uttering a soft "Thank you", doing his best to avoid the knowing look in Nel's eyes and the confusion in Nemu's. Retrieving his zanpakuto from where they stood, he strode forth, not waiting for the others to follow him.

Nemu followed in a daze.

_That was not all in my imagination, I know it. It couldn't have been – not with Nel looking like that at me and then at Jyuushiro. _

_There was something actually there. _

_No, I need to focus and put all these thoughts aside. I will make a promise to myself – if we get through this night, I will not hide from this anymore. I will confront Jyuushiro and follow whatever this is between us wherever it leads. Even if it is only brief, I love him too much not to at least try._

_Now, to survive tonight…_

xXx

When they finally burst through the trees, what greeted their eyes was a scorched world, in which two combatants, one an old man and the other a veritable giant, did ferocious battle.

Whenever the two opponents' blows met, it felt like one of Jyuushiro's storms to Nemu – the deafening thunderclap of impact and the blinding flash of power accompanied each attack. It was unclear who was ahead. Yammy seemed to lumber far more slowly than Nemu recalled, and he bore considerable scorch marks, but his blows still rocked everything in his immediate vicinity. The Captain-Commander was still able to fend off these attacks, and his flames had not diminished, but he was moving stiffly, as though he was fighting not to show he was wounded. It was a race so close that it was impossible to call – both fighters were equally matched in power – and it remained only to be seen who could outlast the other.

Beside Nemu, Jyuushiro inhaled sharply. "What _is_ he doing? I haven't seen him come this close to losing control of himself in over a millennia!"

Suddenly, Nemu saw what he meant. The General's flames, which usually flowed straight and unerringly tall, were flaring out across the landscape, almost in any direction they chose. She was forced to re-assess the fight; the General might once have had the staying power to face anyone, but now…

"Ulquiorra", Jyuushiro began slowly, "just what have you told then about the Captain-Commander?"

"Nothing that he did not authorise me to tell, I assure you", Ulquiorra replied sharply, bristling.

Jyuushiro raised a hand in pacification. "You misunderstand me. I just want to know if you told them of his injury."

"I did", Ulquiorra admitted, frowning. "I still fail to understand why he was willing to let me impart such a thing, but I suppose he felt it could not be concealed. He never did regain full movement of his arm after he defeated Aizen."

"What did you tell them about the current political situation here?" Nel broke in abruptly, her grey eyes fixed upon the fight before them.

"Again, only what I was allowed to. And it could not be hidden that our relations with the Head Captain were, in general, strained. He informed me that I was welcome to point out the current instability if it would help me retain my cover, which it did."

"Ok", Nel turned to face them, dawning horror on her face. "We have an Espada sent out to perform an important task, we have an enemy who knows our General is not at peak capacity, and we in a political situation that could potentially become a whole lot nastier if, say, a leadership dispute became a part of it."

"You think they're after the General", Jyuushiro replied slowly, his eyes widening.

"As horrible as it is, that does make sense", Nemu added softly, "they would have to assume that we would descend into power squabbles and attacking each other. They would see it as allowing us to complete their objective for them."

Jyuushiro's mind was racing, through strange little occurrences at meetings, to actions that didn't make complete sense to, finally, a conversation at a wedding that felt as if it were almost a lifetime ago. There was only one horrific conclusion.

"He knows", Jyuushiro whispered.

"What do you mean?" Nel replied, eyebrows raised.

"The General knows what's going to happen", Jyuushiro replied. "He set this up. That's why he let such damaging information through. That's why he's been talking to me about succession. He's planned for this. He's going to - "

Four pairs of eyes turned, horror-struck, to the battle in front of them.

"He wouldn't", Nel whispered, to herself more than the others. "Would he?"

Jyuushiro wasn't going to wait to find out. He launched himself forward, only to be met by a wall of flame and an echoing voice.

"Go back, Jyuushiro. This is my fight."

"Don't do this!" He screamed back. "We need you here!"

"I have reached the end of my strength", the Captain-Commander's voice replied, "I am no longer the leader that the Gotei Thirteen needs or deserves. It is time. Think of this as my atonement, if you will."

"Take good care of them all, Jyuushiro. They need it."

Several things happened at once. The flames flared even higher, and more uncontrolled as Yammy started to scream. Nemu grabbed Jyuushiro around the waist and called to Nel and Ulquiorra to gather around, as she pierced the ground with Chikyuu-Kosshi and buried her face into Jyuushiro's back.

Jyuushiro's last sight, before the protective rock wall shifted into place, was of a flame-wreathed old man, reaching for a burning giant.

xXx

After what seemed like an eternity, Nemu let the barrier fall away, boulders crumbling to dust as she released her hold on them. Slowly the group untangled themselves from one another and stood forth, staring at the heat-seared landscape.

"He's gone", Nel murmured. "I didn't think it was possible, and yet…"

Jyuushiro felt something lightly touch his cheek and flinched back, only to find Nemu there.

"I'm sorry", she whispered, "but - "

It was then that he felt it, the tears streaming down his face that he hadn't noticed until she attempted to wipe them away. Struggling for words, he tried to tell her it was all right, that he would be all right, but his voice didn't want to cooperate. Instead, since words seemed to be beyond him, he drew Nemu into a tight hug, inhaling the soft scent of her hair and wishing for something, anything that could change what had just occurred.

Ulquiorra scanned the horizon, his green eyes troubled. "They've all gone. I don't understand - "

It was then that Jyuushiro finally spoke, drawing back from Nemu. "Because we were right."

"They got what they came for."

XXx

**Before anyone throws anything – I never promised no character death!**

**Things are about to get rather intense in a variety of ways, so hold on to your headwear kiddies – only three chapters to go by my calculations. **

**R and R, y'all!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: *disclaims***

**Listening to: Angus and Julia Stone – 'And the Boys' and Radiohead – 'All I Need'.**

Chapter Fourteen

It was a drawn and haggard group of shinigami, arrancar, Vizard and humans who assembled in the meeting room that night, each attempting to avoid looking at the obvious empty spaces in the room.

Nemu found this all too easy. Jyuushiro was the focus of her attention, his even paler than usual face and grim countenance saying what his now-dry eyes couldn't. He wasn't the only one grieving, either.

In complete disregard of protocol, Shunsui was holding Nanao close to him, his large brown eyes melancholy and distant. Kenpachi had clearly given up any attempt to conceal his romantic relationship from Yachiru and was now holding an openly weeping Retsu, who was also being held by a clearly accepting Yachiru. The older Lieutenant Kotetsu was consoling the younger, who stood far too still and looked shaken and lost. The mingled Kurosaki and Kuchiki families, with a certain additional Abarai, were conferring quietly in the corner in a very subdued fashion, and the vast majority of the Vizard were now staring awkwardly at their feet.

It was Nel who finally broke the silence, her red-rimmed eyes defiant. To her, the Captain-Commander had been the man who offered her a home and purpose once more, when she had finally remembered just what she had lost. She mourned him, but she knew what needed to be done.

"I know", she began quietly and evenly, "that this is not what anyone wants to hear, but it is necessary for us to relate what happened tonight so that everyone here understands what our enemies intend."

Taking a deep breath, she continued. "The Captain-Commander, before his death, authorised several pieces of information he wished to be passed on to our foes, including the nature of his injury and - "

She broke off, fighting the sob in her voice, before Ulquiorra laid a hand on her shoulder, and stepped forward, his fingers reaching into his eye. "It is easier if I show you", he simply stated, crushing his eyeball in hand and allowing the particles to flow throughout the room.

The numb and sorrowful group watched mutely, as Jyuushiro, Nemu, Nel and Ulquiorra fought, discussed their enemies, reasoned out the purpose of the attack and witnessed the General's sacrifice. When the scene had finally played out, silence rang throughout the room, only to be broken when Orihime cautiously walked toward Ulquiorra and tapped him on the shoulder. As he turned to her, she gave a small smile despite the sheen of tears in her eyes. "I can heal that for you now and save you the trouble of waiting."

He blinked his good eye. "Oh. Thank you. It would be much appreciated."

As her hands began to glow, Shunsui shook his head. "They were fools, then. Our problems with the Captain-Commander aside, we are a united group. They might have expected us to end up divided over this, but I think it's clear to everyone who the successor is."

To Jyuushiro's surprise, no one argued. Equally to Jyuushiro's surprise, everyone in the room seemed to be looking at him. Suddenly, a conversation at a wedding, one that seemed almost a lifetime ago, rather than yesterday, jumped into his head. In all honesty, he hadn't thought much of it at the time – he wasn't the sort to over-rate himself. But now…

_Jyuushiro's mouth felt dry as he fought to speak. "You're talking about succession. Are you - " He cleared his throat and tried again. "Are you saying that you're naming me your successor?" _

_The older man chuckled. "No Jyuushiro, I'm saying that you don't need me to. They already defer to you in serious matters and follow your lead. You have that core of personal integrity that draws people to you and an understanding of humanity that surpasses most people's. Couple this with the fact that you are considerably powerful and one of the most senior shinigami… No, you don't need me to name you. You would be their first choice in any case."_

His eyes wide, he looked up at Shunsui, who grinned and murmured, "Better you than me."

_Looks like the old man was right, after all._

"B-but what about Retsu? She's the senior captain!" Jyuushiro stammered, his mind racing.

Wiping her tears away, Retsu shot him a brief smile and shook her head.

"Well Byakuya, then. He's nobility."

"And _your_ old pupil", the man in question replied dryly. "I would recommend putting me in charge only if you wish for the Rukongai to riot. They are not exactly the Noble Houses' strongest supporters."

Jyuushiro was still reeling. "Well, what about Shinji?"

"Hell no!" Shinji's reply was emphatic and unequivocal, as he fixed his trademark grin on his fellow captain of old.

"I…" Jyuushiro looked around, to find a sea of faces smiling indulgently at him. "I'm not well, you know", he muttered.

"You've been fine for ages", Shunsui pointed out with a diabolical grin. "And besides, outside of wartime concerns, this is a desk job. Isn't that right, Lieutenant Sasakibe?"

The older man smiled. "It is. Why, may I ask, are you so reluctant to take on the job?"

"I'm not an idiot", Jyuushiro shot back, "I know just how much hard work and responsibility this entails."

"Let's see", Isshin began, ticking off points on his fingers, "You're one of the most hard working and responsible shinigami around, you have power, seniority and a wee bit of a noble background on your side and, oh – you also know what the job involves. But hey, don't take my word for it - let's put it to a vote. All in favour, raise your hands."

As Jyuushiro scanned the crowd, every hand was raised. He finally locked eyes with Nemu, who gave him a gentle smile as she raised her hand in the air, only to have her smile turn amused as she lifted her other arm, too.

Jyuushiro couldn't help but laugh to himself, the pain and bitterness receding for a moment.

_Well, Yama-jii, looks like you got what you wanted._

"All right, all right!", he exclaimed, as the amused crowd lowered their hands. "I'll do it. But I'm taking a mental health day every few weeks."

"Seems fair", Lieutenant Sasakibe replied, his smile unabated.

Shaking his head, Jyuushiro crossed the floor, to take the place of his mentor and teacher, his heart lighter than it had been all day. He took a deep breath as he reached the spot, before turning to face his peers.

_My subordinates now… Kami, this feels surreal._

There was one thing, however, that he felt was necessary to do before he could call himself Captain-Commander. Clearing his throat, he waited for them to still and attend to him. It didn't take long.

"Before we begin, I would like to take a moment to remember a great man." Jyuushiro cleared his throat, hoping to finish what he wanted to say before any of the Vizard could protest. "I will not say he was a perfect man. I will not say he was without flaw, and I certainly won't say he never made a poor decision – a fact that several of us here can very easily testify. But that does not diminish his achievements – the creation of both the Shinigami Academy and Gotei Thirteen, the maintenance of these institutions for centuries, and his willing sacrifice in order to assist in the survival of these things we hold dear."

With a deep breath, Jyuushiro continued. "I will forever remember him as a man torn between many, some almost oppositional, forces, and fighting to win through to find what was best for everybody. I will remember him as a man who, when he did not choose what ended up being the right path, was more than willing to atone for his actions. Most of all, however, I will remember him as the man who is the reason that the gifted and determined individuals in this room have banded together to ensure our survival. I would ask for a moment of silence to remember him."

They all gave it, even the Vizard, though Hiyori looked mutinous. As the seconds ticked by, Jyuushiro bowed his head and surreptitiously scanned the faces in the room.

_A powerful bunch, and all good people to have at your back. Well, perhaps not Kenpachi – he'd ditch you if he thought whatever you were fighting against was too weak to be a challenge – but in that case you probably could handle it on your own, anyway._

_Yes, these are all good people and I need every last one of them._

_But how many will be standing by the time we end this?_

As it did all too often, Jyuushiro's gaze drifted to Nemu, who stood there solemnly, her gaze troubled.

_Just please, Kami, do what you like to me, but spare her. That's all I ask._

_Well, if you've got room for two more, Shun and Nanao would be nice._

He lifted his bowed head, drawing everyone's attention back to him once more. He fought back a grimace.

_I'm going to have to get used to that._

Doing what he could not to let his discomfort show, Jyuushiro turned to Yoruichi and her team of Vizard and Ryoka. "I understand completely if you're still intending to work as an independent unit - "

The noblewoman snorted. "You, I can live with. Run your orders by me if it makes you feel more comfortable with it, but as far as I'm concerned, you're our commander now." As her team nodded their agreement, Yoruichi grinned wickedly. "We may have discussed this contingency before. I'll be glad to be rid of the responsibility of leading this lot."

Jyuushiro shook his head. "The first this occurred to me was yesterday. Did everyone but me see this coming?"

Awkward silence greeted this, as smirking shinigami avoided his eyes.

"You know what – I don't want to know." With a sigh, Jyuushiro returned to the issues at hand. "Very well. The first thing I wish to do is put to you a plan I have regarding the Rukongai."

It had been a pet project, an idea he had considered when things began. The worst that could happen now, he reasoned, was that it could be shot down. At least he would have tried.

"Every year we search the Rukongai for souls who are able to become shinigami. Some we don't find in time. Some we don't find at all, and some fall just short of the mark. What I am about to suggest is a time-consuming and desperate effort, but I believe it is going to be necessary."

"We need to train and arm the Rukongai. All of them."

Silence reigned.

"I was not jesting before", Byakuya began quietly after some time, "when I pointed out that the nobility are not popular in such places – I will admit, in many cases with good reason. In doing so, you would bring us within a hair's breadth of a rebellion, one that could easily flare up once the war has ended."

"I know", Jyuushiro replied evenly. "Believe me, that thought has crossed my mind repeatedly. But I believe we're more likely to face an open rebellion if we abandon them to fend for ourselves in this fight."

The head of House Kuchiki sighed. "I cannot deny there is logic in what you say in the short term, but it does not lessen my concerns for the future."

"Many of which I believe can be allayed if we start working with the people there now", Jyuushiro continued stubbornly. "We take from them each year those who attract hollows, you are sickly with hunger or voraciously eating everything in sight, but at the same time, we take away family members, and potential protectors. Isn't it time we offered them aid and recompense?"

"They'll be killed", Retsu broke in softly. "They don't have the power - "

"They are getting killed", Shuuhei pointed out bluntly. "Each of the assaults we've faced has begun there, and the civilian casualties have been impressive – and not in a good way. Unless we're planning on conscripting them, which I doubt would go down well at all, at least they'd be given a choice and a fighting chance this way."

"I like it", Shunsui piped up. "It has all of Jyuu-kun's usual idealism, tempered with an approach that's actually sensible."

"Are you trying to help him?" Nanao muttered. "Because I genuinely cannot tell."

"Are there any further bombshells you wish to drop?" Captain Hitsugaya did not sound as withering as he usually did when confronted with something he felt was foolish, and Jyuushiro took it as a positive sign. He smiled at the younger captain.

"I would ask that the Sixth and the Eleventh work together in interdivisional pairs to complete this task."

Silence reigned once more. Captain Hitsugaya blinked. "Well, it would certainly give them a chance to view the full spectrum of personalities", he eventually replied.

"I'm in!" Yachiru nodded enthusiastically. "So long as Mopey-chan's my partner."

"Have no fear, Yachiru-san", Byakuya replied smoothly, the faintest of smiles on his face as Stark avoided his eye contact. "I would not inflict you on any other member of my division."

As Byakuya received a crude gesture from the pink-haired young woman as his response, Jyuushiro considered his next step.

_They took the idea better than I had expected. Even Byakuya didn't dismiss it outright in the end. They know how badly we may need this…_

_Which brings me to the next problem we must tackle._

"However", Jyuushiro called out over the rising tide of voices discussing recent developments, "there is a matter I wish to attend to first, before we turn to the Rukongai."

"We have met our opponents' attacks each time, and managed to win through. But each time we have been the ones reacting, forced to be on the defensive."

"I want to strike first for once."

There was quiet again, but this time, there was no mistaking the mood behind that quiet. It was a brooding determination that told Jyuushiro he wasn't the only one interested in really fighting back.

Further down the row, a former Espada cleared his throat.

"If I may", Ulquiorra began, continuing once Jyuushiro motioned for him to continue, "I doubt you all wish to attack Las Noches front on. We have met, I would estimate, a quarter of their fighting force so far, and that in numerous engagements rather than all at once – such a frontal assault would be nothing but a massacre for us."

"Gosh Ulqui", Grimmjow muttered, "how do you always know just what to say t' make me feel better? It's like fucken magi – ooof!"

As Soi Fon retracted her elbow, Ulquiorra continued as though he had never heard Grimmjow speak, a tactic he knew would annoy Grimmjow almost as much as Grimmjow's interruptions annoyed him. "As I was saying, Las Noches is not an option. There are, however, smaller, easier targets. One in particular…"

"The Eighth Espada has a heavily guarded laboratory located just outside the menos forest. It is believed he is attempting to re-create the Hougyoku, though the chances of him actually succeeding are infinitesimal. Still, it is a possibility that cannot be ignored."

"How heavily guarded are we talking?" Soi Fon looked suitably intrigued.

"At least one other Espada, two vasto lorde and almost five hundred at various other states of evolution."

"You're not kidding", Ichigo muttered, shaking his head. "Why so many?"

"Wonderweiss is aware that while they have the numbers, we have the power, especially with Yammy gone", Ulquiorra remarked dryly. "While he himself will be a challenge to take down and I still know nothing of the Second and Third Espada, for the most part, we outclass them. He wants to rectify that, and the only way to do so - "

"Is to create more arrancar and hope for some to be Espada-level", Jyuushiro finished, his mind racing.

_It is a potential source of trouble that needs rectifying… But Akon wants Nemu dead. Maybe if she were to stay behind…_

One look at the fiercely determined expression on her face, and Jyuushiro knew that the order to remain in the Seireitei would not be obeyed.

_Dammit. Still… If we were to take him out now, that would be one major source of concern off my mind. He would go after Nemu, but I would be there to protect her._

_I cannot be a fool about this. She will almost inevitably have to face him at some point. At least this way I can pick the time and place, and be there as back up._

_Hell, I might even be lucky enough to get there first._

His eyes upon the battle-ready troops before him, Jyuushiro made his choice.

"Very well. Now, we need to hammer out a plan, because I want this to happen quickly – they aren't going to get a chance to bounce back after yesterday, not if I have anything to say about it. I refuse to go down without a fight."

A united team at last, they began to plot.

xXx

Hours later, night had fallen and Nemu sat silently in her room, contemplating the step she was about to take.

They had, in the end, finally decided on readying themselves to strike tomorrow morning. Nemu had all but begged her captain for busy work to keep her mind off what she was to face, but the Twelfth were more than ready for the assault and Kisuke Urahara could not offer her anything sufficiently active to distract her from her thoughts. So it was, then, that she sat and contemplated what she would meet in battle the following day.

_Akon._

_He never did particularly like me – I can only assume that time has failed to heal that wound. At least I feel as though I can face him now, though whether I would actually emerge the victor…_

_Well, that is certainly up for debate._

She shivered, and flinched, surprised at herself.

_I suppose that, for the first time in decades, facing my own mortality stings. Before, I had no friends, no captain I could admire without fear, no dreams of my own._

_No one I loved._

_Now, though, I can't bear the thought. For the first time, my survival matters to me – not only mine, but that of others. We have already lost many – how many more will die in the course of this war? How many tomorrow alone?_

_It could be any one of us, too. Yesterday taught us all of that; a harsh lesson, but one that we perhaps needed to learn. It could so easily be me tomorrow, or Jyuushiro – _

_No, don't. Don't even think about it. I can't – _

She shook her head, rising from her bed and walking to the kitchen. She grabbed a glass from the sink and filled it, before exhaling sharply and leaning forward to rest her head against the cool metal of the cupboards above the bench – the same pose she had used to take after a nightmare.

_I cannot think about that. It will drive me mad._

_All the same, it is a possibility…_

She drank, trying to turn her thoughts to a different path.

_It is pointless to speculate. In any case, I am more likely than Jyuushiro to lose my life in the coming conflict. I lack his experience and power, and I am a target for one of the Espada in particular. It would be a shame to die now, though, with my promise to confront Jyuushiro about my feelings unfulfilled._

_Wait…_

Nemu's eyes widened, as she considered her words.

_We have twelve hours until we mobilise. I have time. He has indicated that, at the very least, he is attracted to me and even if that is as far as things go, I would at least get the chance to kiss him once more._

_And if he loves me too…_

So many memories flashed into her head – Jyuushiro telling her about exceeded expectations, Jyuushiro defending her against both arrancar and her fellow shinigami, Jyuushiro holding her close as they danced, his lips against hers –

Not pausing to think, Nemu grabbed her keys and quickly checked her reflection in the mirror. She looked tired and pale, and was wearing her shinigami uniform from the meeting earlier but, if she had read everything correctly and if she knew Jyuushiro the way she thought she just might, he wouldn't care. She stood just outside her door and steeled herself, ready for action.

_I can do this. I'm a grown woman and a shinigami lieutenant._

_Besides, even if he doesn't love me back, I will still have taken what happiness I can before I die. And if he does…_

_Well, then I will have something else to fight for._

Taking a deep breath, her hand on an oddly silent Chikyuu-Kosshi's hilt for reassurance, she walked out of her front door.

xXx

After the meeting, Jyuushiro had stayed behind to talk to the various people who had approached; and Kami, there had been plenty. It was a taste of the workload he was going to have to face in his new role, but Jyuushiro had to admit, he was a social being by nature and he enjoyed being able to find out what was happening in each squad.

Right now, however, he was grieving and exhausted.

Eventually he had escaped and had ended up crashing on his couch, too tired to take the extra steps into his bedroom. He'd woken up at dinner, not hungry enough to eat, and had instead poured himself a scotch on the rocks, straight from the bottle of single malt that the Captain-Commander had sent for his last birthday. He sat on his couch now, staring into his drink and watching the patterns the melting ice made on the surface of the alcohol and feeling decidedly empty.

_It appears that I'm all mourned out._

_Well, then – here's to you, Yama-jii._

He sipped at his drink and wished for company. Shunsui would have been nice, but he had a new wife to attend to and, even if he had been here, would have been just as depressed as Jyuushiro. No, the person he really wanted around had deep green eyes with flecks of light, like the sun breaking through a deep forest canopy, with clouds of long dark hair, pale skin and a tendency to call him sensei when she wanted to taunt him subtly.

As he stared into his drink, the thought popped into his head once again.

_I wish Nemu were here._

A knock on the door shook him out of his reverie as he blinked in confusion.

_Could it – no, I'm not that much of a moron. Probably just Sasakibe with an update on plans_.

Rising from his chair, he placed his drink on the coffee table and walked down the hall, considering the identity of his late visitor.

_It could be Ulquiorra back from reconnaissance. Or Shunsui – he might have managed to get kicked out of the house already. Byakuya wanting to talk about plans to keep Rukia away from the firing line, that's always a fun conversation. Maybe even Kiyone. We lost Sentaro last night, and for all their posturing, they were two of a kind. I should mourn him too, but everything is too much right now. Later, when we have time, perhaps…_

_Hell_, he thought as he reached for the door and started to pull it open, _it could even be Retsu about to fight me for the Head-Captaincy. Kami only knows, I thought it would've gone to her, though she doesn't seem to mind how – _

The door swung open, revealing Nemu standing there, her hair unbound and floating in the light breeze.

_Or it could be the person I wanted to see most of all._

"Hi", he began with a faint smile, only to be cut off abruptly.

"Jyuushiro, I need to ask you something." Her voice was low and urgent, her eyes betraying her nervousness.

He didn't stop to think. "Of course. Whatever you choose."

She took a deep breath. "You once told me that any sane man would want me, so I need to know." Her gaze met his, and he almost got the feeling that he was seeing right into the heart of Nemu Kurotsuchi. There was an intensity to her that had Jyuushiro feeling off balance and a little light-headed, as he waited for her to continue.

"I have to know – Jyuushiro, are you sane?"

Jyuushiro blinked. He tried blinking again, and then settled for staring at Nemu while trying to sort out exactly what she was asking and preventing himself from gaping like a complete idiot. Like lightning, the thought hit him.

_Oh Kami. She knows, doesn't she? Knows, or at least strongly suspects. Why else would she be here?_

_Think, Jyuushiro, think. Nemu isn't the confrontational type – if she's here asking me this, there's a good reason for her to do so, it wouldn't simply be idle curiosity or an urge to put me in my place. Maybe she even – _

_No, there's no point in hoping too much yet._

_Either way, this is the woman I love._

_I owe her the truth._

"I'm sane", Jyuushiro replied softly, before giving her a rueful smile. "Far too sane for my own good, actually. And, well, quite a bit beyond sane."

_There. It's out. Now I just have to live with it._

She was far too silent, staring at him with wide, uncertain eyes that offered no hint as to how she felt at this confession. Without meaning to, Jyuushiro found that he had to keep talking, since it now appeared to be a choice between him babbling and her rejecting him.

"You have every right to be angry with me, it is hardly the way a sensei is supposed to conduct himself toward a pupil. I should have resigned working with you the second I realised but… well, I enjoyed your company far too much at that point and I didn't want to lose it. I understand completely if you don't ever want to talk to me again and I'll respect your wishes – I love you too much not to, and - "

Abruptly she started, the sharp intake of breath accompanying it a clear indicator of her surprise. "You…" Her voice was tremulous. "You _love_ me?"

Jyuushiro fought not to wince.

_Ah. She hadn't suspected that far._

_Dammit, there's no help for it now. I'll just have to bear this as best I can, and pour myself another scotch when she leaves. _

_Maybe three. This hasn't been my week._

"I do", he admitted at last. "I know that can hardly be what you were wishing – I am aware that my age and health are hardly - "

So caught up in defending himself and ending this conversation as quickly and painlessly as possible, Jyuushiro had been unable to bring himself to look at Nemu, who was still staring at him wide-eyed, her mind racing.

_Jyuushiro…_

_He loves me. He loves _me.

_I…_

Slowly, her mouth curved into a wide smile as she watched the man in front of her fumble verbally. When she saw an opportunity, she struck.

Jyuushiro was cut off, by a single slim finger pressed to his lips. Somewhere along the line, Nemu had gotten a lot closer. The digit stayed firmly in place as she began to speak.

"My sword spirit once accused me of not seeing myself clearly, when I felt I was unworthy. It seems to me that you have that same propensity. And yet, Jyuushiro, you seem to see me more clearly than almost anyone else. You see me, and you do not judge, you do not try to hide away from parts of me that are, shall we say, less than flawless? You accept me, as so few do, and you speak to me as an equal. You defend me from our enemies, even from our fellow shinigami when necessary, and you are far too good looking to be ignored by, as you would say, any sane woman. You are enjoyable to talk to, to spend time with, and you kiss well enough for me to be able to overlook a foolish appreciation of Russian literature. Though, on review, I will concede to you Turgenev as well." She smiled wider and took another step closer, taking away the finger that kept him silent. "If anything, it is by far stranger that you return my feelings for you than the fact that I feel that way too."

Jyuushiro blinked, trying to process everything he had just heard. He felt light headed, almost as though he couldn't breathe, but he knew this was no attack. Sickness had never made him feel like this, a heady mix of elation and anticipation. "Wait. You – you love me?"

There was amusement in Nemu's eyes now, where before there had been uncertainty and the weight of secreted emotions. Carefully, still not quite trusting all of these new discoveries, she let her right hand drift up to rest against his sharp cheekbones.

"I do", she replied quietly, her gaze gentle as she looked up at him. She cocked her head, regarding him, and laughed softly. "What a pair we make. Apparently we have both been a little blind."

Jyuushiro brushed her hair back from her face with one hand, resting it behind her head as he wrapped his other arm around her waist, drawing her in closer until they were nose to nose. With a grin, he replied, "I swear, everyone else figured out how I felt before I did. Still, even if we make a silly pair, I quite like the pair part of that equation."

"Likewise", Nemu whispered, as she tilted her head, her eyes fluttering closed when her lips met his.

It was both like and unlike their first kiss. That same undercurrent of raw desire was present, but tempered with sober caution and an urge to take the time to explore. Slowly, Jyuushiro coaxed Nemu's mouth open to meet his more fully, allowing them to taste one another properly as Nemu fisted one hand in the front of his haori. Even if Jyuushiro's eyes had been open, he suspected he would have been blind, blind to anything but Nemu and the way she fit against him so perfectly, the way she whimpered softly when he first tasted her, the way she slowly grew in confidence, teasing his bottom lip between her teeth when they eventually pulled apart.

As Jyuushiro opened his eyes again to stare at the woman in front of him, her dark hair mussed where he had run his fingers through it, and lips swollen where they had met his, there was really only one thing to do.

"Uh, could you pinch me or something? It's just, these days, when this sort of thing happens it pays to check that this isn't a dream." He paused, considering. "It also pays to check that Shun isn't around either, come to think of it."

She laughed. "I can assure that I don't sense Captain Kyouraku's presence. As for any allegations about dreaming…" Her smile turned faintly mischievous as she pulled him closer. "I will do what I can to convince you otherwise." She stood on her toes and brushed her lips against his once, before settling into a heated and languid kiss.

_Well, _Jyuushiro thought to himself, _that's one way to convince me. But I'm not letting that crack about Russians pass._

He withdrew from the kiss, his eyes dancing as he pulled away. "You know, Nemu, I really think you should consider re-thinking your opinion on Russian authors."

"Jyuushiro", Nemu admonished, her lips attacking his, speeding up the pace of their kisses. Exploration gave way to desire, and when the two of them next drew back, they were both breathless, though Jyuushiro was still able to continue, "What about Chekov?"

Nemu's lips grazed his throat, as she slipped the captain's haori off his shoulders, letting it pool on the floor. "Yes to the plays, no to the short stories." They stepped over the garment as they worked their way down the hall, wrapped up in their strangely perfect dialogue of words and kisses.

"Pushkin?", Jyuushiro tried again, drawing himself to his full height and setting his mouth beyond her reach.

She shook her head. "For someone reputed to be a gentleman, you are a shameless tease."

He grinned. "Yep. So, Pushkin?"

Her response was to leap, her hands on his shoulders and her legs resting on either side of his hips. As her lips met his, the impact had him stepping back, bumping into the seat of his couch and falling to sit on it, Nemu on top of him. She laughed as they sat there, recovering their breath, but Jyuushiro went quiet. He had been sitting in here without light as night had fallen, but the brightness of the moon meant that there was plenty of light shining through his windows, throwing Nemu's delicate features into sharp relief. She was breathtaking like this, he decided, as he let his hand come up to cup her cheek, his thumb tracing the corner of his lips.

Nemu, in turn, felt her breath catch as she caught sight of the almost worshipful look in his eyes, giving in to a long-held urge to let her fingers roam over those sharp, aristocratic features. She held his gaze and realised that she still couldn't correctly classify the colour of his eyes, sometimes too green, or too brown to be strictly hazel. More to the point, for the first and perhaps only time in her life, she didn't mind.

_It is Jyuushiro._

_And that is more than enough. _

It was hard to believe that this wasn't a dream, Jyuushiro decided, but it felt all too real and that meant that he needed to have something clarified.

His voice barely above a whisper, Jyuushiro began, "Look, I'm happy to move at your pace with this. We can wait - "

Nemu shook her head. "Jyuushiro, we have waited months, as far as I am concerned. I have no interest in waiting any longer now", she looked down at him, her smile widening, "that I have you where I want you."

It was getting very hard to think clearly.

_And I had a point. I know I had a point._

_Somewhere… Ah yes, that was it._

"It's just", he continued, "that I suspect your own experience has been limited by circumstance and - "

She raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "Am I not demonstrating a satisfactory skill set?"

"Wha – no! No, that is _not_ the case", Jyuushiro hurriedly supplied, before noting the glint of laughter in her eyes. "Dammit, it is not nice to tease. I just meant - "

She relented, and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "I know. However, I have completed considerable reading on this subject of late. It has been most illuminating and enjoyable. That being said, I have no doubt my sensei can offer me a more complete education."

He was definitely blushing now. "Ok, please, I am begging you, don't call me that."

She pulled back, amused. "So that was where the objection to the nickname came from? Interesting."

"I – uh – no comment?" Jyuushiro attempted, not quite meeting her eyes.

Her lips were against his ear again. "Very well. I will not call you sensei", she murmured as she let her teeth graze his ear lobe. The strangely erotic sensation had him gasping in his seat, pulling her closer so that their bodies met at every point, and almost missing when she added, "In public."

Attempting to breathe normally, Jyuushiro muttered, "And again – you call me the tease? That seems a little – mmpf!"

She was kissing him again, her clever hands untying the knot that secured his uniform and leaving Jyuushiro certain that not only could he get used to this, he damn well intended to. He could feel strands of her unbound hair trailing along his throat as she shifted, exposing his torso and sliding his shirt off his shoulders before she gave him a quick smile that could only be described as wicked.

Faster than Jyuushiro was able to process the thought, Nemu was eye-level with the division tattoo over his heart, her tongue deftly tracing the lines of the kanji and leaving Jyuushiro unable to do anything but groan and rock his hips up against hers, a move that won an answering gasp from her. Nemu looked down, noting the distinct bulge in his hakama, and smiled. "So – satisfactory?"

"I'll give you satisfactory", Jyuushiro returned, groaning as he reached for her, only to have her lift herself off his lap gracefully, standing in front of him. With a sensual smile on her face, Nemu shook her head.

"No, Jyuushiro. I am not finished yet."

Before he could enquire as to what she was planning on finishing, she had begun stripping off, deftly and quickly removing her uniform and leaving her pale skin exposed to his hungry gaze. It was all Jyuushiro could do to stay in his seat – she was perfectly formed, with ripe curves seamlessly teamed with a slender waist and long, shapely legs. He didn't bother to hide the approval on his face, and she smiled in return, motioning to his hakama.

Jyuushiro didn't need to be told twice. He shucked his pants, leaving him as naked as she was, and sat back in his seat almost holding his breath as she walked forward to straddle him again. His skin seemed to burn where it made contact with hers, and yet he craved more of that same contact, needed it in a way that made his head spin. He moved, swiftly and certainly, trailing fingers up her thigh until he met her sex. She gasped and stilled, relaxing as he murmured soothing words and carefully sliding his fingers against her clit. She stilled again, but this time it was not out of shock, as a pleasurable shudder ran through her and she breathlessly demanded, "More."

Jyuushiro couldn't say no to her at the best of times, and he certainly wasn't about to start now. He teased her mercilessly, though, slowing just when she demanded he speed up, shifting his fingers when she begged for him to stay and softening his movements when she wanted more. When she finally came, it was all encompassing, her senses overloaded with sensation and her body taut as a wire, a pleasure all the greater for having been delayed. Again and again pleasure overwhelmed her, as Jyuushiro sat back and watched Nemu, her head thrown back and her long, pale throat working to release coupling cries mingled with his name.

Nemu felt boneless and utterly complete, as she curled closer to Jyuushiro and tried to get her breath back. Beneath her, he spoke softly, "We can stop here, if you want. You're probably tired, and - "

As she shifted and felt his arousal against her, suddenly tired was the last thing Nemu felt. She looked up at Jyuushiro and shook her head with a smile, enjoying the way his eyes went darker and he started to breathe erratically.

"Ok, then, we can move this into – _shit._"

Nemu wasn't interested in a change in locations either, as she took hold of Jyuushiro's arousal and carefully, ever so slowly, lowered herself onto him. It felt strange to be stretched so, and a little uncomfortable, but Nemu was shocked by how right it felt, as though this was right where she was supposed to be. As she readied herself to move again, Jyuushiro caught her hips. "Kami", he breathed, "please don't move. Not just yet."

She honoured that wish for all of a few seconds, before her lips quirked into a slow smile. "I think you'll find", she pointed out as she started to move, "that my name is Nemu, not Kami. Though I am decidedly flattered."

Jyuushiro swore, crushing his mouth against hers and wrapping his arms around her and thrusting up to met her every move. Their lips stayed connected throughout, swallowing their moans and cries, their tongues mimicking the more intimate dance that was taking place. Cradling her as she moved, Jyuushiro let his hands trace the delicate contours of her back, slipping one hand around to cup one of her breasts as she raked her nails down his back. It was slow, languid and heady, as Jyuushiro was determined to draw out and savour each sensation, a decision that Nemu seemed to fully support, if her reactions to his touch were anything to go by. As the pressure began to build, Jyuushiro's movements sped up, as Nemu finally broke away from their kiss, her teeth finding his throat muffling more insistent noises. It didn't take long before Nemu stiffened again and called out his name and Jyuushiro, awash with the sensation of her tightening around him, followed her over the edge.

They sat on the couch, entwined, with foreheads resting against each other, and their ragged breaths and swift heartbeats moving as one.

xXx

Later, as they finally lay on Jyuushiro's bed, having made it there by way of some interesting deviations against walls and in showers, something occurred to him.

He slowed his fingers as they ran through Nemu's hair, and softly queried, "Do you dream anymore?"

He felt her lips curve where they were rested against his chest. "Not in the way you mean. I still dream of you, but _those_ dreams stopped the night I talked to you about them."

He grinned up at his roof, tightening his hold on her slightly. "Dreaming about me? What are those dreams like, I wonder?"

Nemu laughed softly. "If you must know, I could have easily mistaken tonight for a dream."

"That makes two of us", he conceded. Carefully, he turned his head so that he could kiss her forehead.

Nemu stirred and curled in closer. "We should sleep. We need to be ready for tomorrow."

"I know." He had been trying not to think about it. If anything were to happen… "Stay with me."

She looked up at him, and pressed a swift kiss to his chest. "Always. Until death."

As she settled herself back against him, he could have sworn he heard her add, "And beyond, if I am to have any say in the matter."

With a smile on his face, Jyuushiro drifted off to sleep, determined not to think of tomorrow until it happened.

xXx

**This was written and waiting to be posted more than two weeks ago, but then there was this thing with a flood and a giant ark and - well, you know. Fortunately, me and mine are all right, though it was close for a bit and fairly hectic. Finally, however, here we are!**

**Now, onto the chapter itself...**

**Well, that was a long time coming – for author, readers and characters alike, it seems. This may seem a bit sudden, but after all the UST in the previous dozen chapters, the turmoil they've all faced and Nemu's decision to seize happiness where she can – well, this was the logical way I always saw this happening, otherwise they'd be dancing around each other forever. And, since they're basically immortal, it really would be forever.**

**Anyhoodle, on to Jyuushiro's plan for the Rukongai – this won't be covered as much in this story, so much as in the next one. Five points to whoever guesses which bizarre pairing that one will involve (It shouldn't be hard). **

**In the mean time, stay tuned, because it sure as hell ain't over yet.**

**R an R y'all. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Today's disclaimer is brought to you by the letter 'Q' and the number 8.**

**Uh, not mine…**

**Listening to: The Dresden Dolls – 'The Mouse and the Model', Crystal Castles – 'Baptism', and Manchester Orchestra – 'I've Got Friends'.**

Chapter Fifteen

Jyuushiro awoke the next morning to find his bed empty, though the space beside him was still warm. Blearily he sat up, wiping a hand over his face as he scanned the room.

It didn't take long to find her. Nemu was staring pensively out the window at dawn-tinged sky, her hands currently occupied with tying her zanpakuto to her side. The pink-gold colour of the sunrise seemed to make her delicate features all the more striking and, as she frowned to herself, Jyuushiro finally shook himself out of just sitting there admiring her and asked, "What's the matter?"

She turned to face him, a rueful smile gracing her lips. "I had hoped to let you sleep for a time longer. We do not need to make a move for an hour at least, and you shouldn't be disturbed just because I cannot rest."

He shrugged and stretched himself out. "I'm up now, in any case, and I doubt I'll get to sleep again even if I try. Why are you awake?"

She curled her arms around herself and stared out the window again. Finally finding her voice, she replied, "I couldn't stop thinking about what we face today. I just - " She broke off with a sigh, and looked down at her sword. "I had to do something." As long arms encircled her from behind, she started, and then settled back into the embrace as she exhaled slowly, letting Jyuushiro's presence soothe her. Sweeping her hair away from the back of her neck, he placed a lingering kiss between her shoulders.

Softly, his mouth just behind her ear, he murmured, "It'll be all right."

"You cannot know that", she countered, shaking her head. "We could lose everything in this fight."

"Risk is a part of life", Jyuushiro replied. "If we lived terrified of taking any chances or fighting for anything important, we wouldn't really live at all. We've already lost people in this fight, but we're still strong and we've been, for the most part, successfully fighting so far. I want to believe that will continue. And, if it doesn't…"

She turned in his arms to face him as he trailed off. "If it doesn't?", Nemu queried.

He smiled down at her. "Well, then at the very least I'll die a very happy shinigami. And I have you to thank for that. It's actually a shame that you've gotten dressed, seeing as we have an hour to ourselves."

Nemu's eyes widened, as she gasped out, "Now is hardly the time!"

His face turned grave, as he released her, only to take hold of her hands. "Nemu, this is precisely the time. Even if I believe we are unlikely to come to grief out there today, in any case I want to go into battle with your scent on my skin, with your taste on my lips. I want to have that tangible reminder of what I'm fighting for, even if it seems strange or poorly timed. I've only just found this…"

Nemu gave him a gentle smile as she leaned into him once more. "I understand that feeling, at least. You'll stay with me in battle? I might need your help with some of my techniques."

"Of course." There had never been any question of it.

Her smile changed into a very different expression, and her eyes seemed to spark. "Very well. Now, I believe you requested a reminder…"

xXx

Some time later, the two walked out onto the streets, the air of tense anticipation having clearly made its way through the Seireitei. The shinigami they passed were jumpy, and yet strangely unobservant, their attention on an event yet to occur and completely unaware of the fact that the new Captain-Commander was currently hand in hand with the Lieutenant of the Twelfth Division.

They had briefly discussed the hand holding issue on their way out and, somehow, 'you are the General and should behave with decorum outside this room' had lost to Jyuushiro's 'screw that', despite the fact that he suspected the former had been far more eloquently argued. But then, he decided, he suspected that Nemu's heart hadn't really been in it. As pleasant as that thought was, the relatively carefree feeling that had accompanied Jyuushiro since he awoke was fading fast, and the closer he came to where the six squads they were taking in were stationed, the tenser he got.

The Second, the Third, the Eighth, the Tenth, the Twelfth and the Thirteenth, with him along for the ride to command and provide firepower. The names and numbers rolled through his head as he pondered, approaching his destination. They were all necessary, and all had been spared recent major losses, though Captain Soi Fon was still only just recovered from serious injury. He was still reluctant to have her on the field, but they needed at least two arrancar to open garganta for them, and adding the Seventh to the list could potentially expose Ulquiorra Schiffer, their resident double agent. The remainder of the squads were to stay behind, guarding from any further assault and being prepared to send reinforcements.

No, he had made the right decisions. They had all pitched in, and the results were two strong fighting forces, more than capable of handling most of what was thrown at them. However, even if they had all participated in the decision-making process, his had been the final word, and it was on his shoulders that he would rest the blame for any loss of life.

_I suppose it is something a Captain-Commander must get used to over time – though given that I'm only the second in history, who knows?_

_And yet, I don't want to get used to it. I never want to see people as numbers rather than personalities. Maybe that's where Yama-jii went wrong – he stopped counting the cost of his actions. I can't protect everyone, no matter what course I take, and it's foolish to attempt it, but at least I will remember the price we pay. _

Stepping into the training grounds they were to leave from, Jyuushiro confronted his troops, from the Thirteenth, currently manned by Rukia and Kiyone, to the Third, armed , ready and awake, despite Ichigo's scowl. The Fifth and Sixth were not present – Jyuushiro had had an argument on his hands with both Byakuya and Renji over that, but he had eventually convinced them that both himself and Ichigo would be sufficient protection for Rukia. In any case, judging from the waves of power that seemed to be coming off her as she moved, Jyuushiro doubted that she needed just as much protection as her family wanted to think she did.

There were others, of course. Shun had refused to be kept back again, his status as a newly married captain aside, and Nanao had been equally vocal about not being left behind. Grimmjow was glaring at anyone who even looked like jostling a just-recovered Soi Fon, Kira was rapidly and quietly talking to Rangiku, her customary good-time girl attitude nowhere to be seen. Watching their exchange silently, Toushiro Hitsugaya stood utterly still, his eyes fixed on his lieutenant in particular as she furiously gestured at Kisuke Urahara and his team, as they readied their explosives.

Ulquiorra had been able to give them information on the building's structure, and the Shiba/Urahara fireworks had been designed especially to take on the very solid rock wall that encircled the laboratory – if they didn't take it out, the swift and deadly attack they had planned could potentially become a drawn out siege. Jyuushiro could only hope that he had thought of everything.

_Though you can never cover every contingency. Have I rushed this? Are we prepared enough to face them?_

With one last comforting squeeze, Nemu let go of his hand to temporarily join her squad, as he took his place at the head of the group, ready to address them.

"Do not treat this as a revenge attack."

Well, that had certainly got their attention. You could have heard a hell butterfly flutter through the crowd, who were now utterly still, with all eyes fixed upon him.

_I really am going to have to get used to that, aren't I?_

Taking a deep breath, he continued, "I know it is tempting. Believe me, I have wanted to strike back myself. But we need to do this as soldiers of the Gotei Thirteen, not as individuals with their own personal grudges and agendas to push. We need to put aside our anger, however justified, so that we can fight without our judgement becoming clouded. I know we can do this – we are the warriors of the Gotei Thirteen. We fight now for survival most of all, so that we can uphold what is important to us."

He flashed them a quick smile, before drawing his zanpakuto. They seamlessly followed suit, soul steel flashing in the dawn light. "You have your orders. When the garganta opens, the Twelfth go through first and check our location. If we're in the right position – and since we only have Lieutenant Schiffer's instructions to go on, it is a possibility that we may not be – stand back and let the explosives do their work. If not, we move out in formation. I cannot stress this enough – don't get in front of the Twelfth, because it will be painful. We need that wall down."

Kisuke Urahara's grin would have been positively terrifying if you were the enemy it was aimed at. "I wouldn't worry about that. These should pack sufficient punch for any wall."

"Just what I like to hear", Jyuushiro responded with a quick grin. "Lieutenant Jeagerjacques, are you ready?"

The blue-haired arrancar gave a mock salute. "Always, Cap'n. An' I wouldn't be too worried about locations. Ulqui gave me some seriously intense directions. Che, it's like the little bastard doesn't expect me to be able to follow a basic fucken map."

Everyone tactfully held their silence. While Grimmjow was not directionally challenged (as some had described Yachiru) or even intellectually challenged in any way, Ulquiorra wouldn't trust his almost-friend to find his way out of a paper bag. It was no reflection on either of them; it was just one of the many odd features of their almost-friendship (they didn't call each other friends, but how else would you describe two men who spent a good deal of time in each other's company willingly and liked to go drinking together?).

Rolling his eyes, Grimmjow carefully tore open the divide between worlds, taking care to widen the portal enough for all of them to see through. A wide expanse of sand greeted their eyes, the chill reaching them where they stood and a pale moon illuminating the ground before them. In the distance, however, stood a white structure, gleaming in the moonlight as a clear target.

Grimmjow smirked, muttering to himself, "Right on. That'll show the little fucker."

Jyuushiro wasn't about to wait. "Kisuke, get your troops in there. I'd request that your lieutenant remains with me for the time being. I could use her techniques here."

Captain Urahara raised an eyebrow and looked between the two of them, a sly smile crossing his face. "Well, well, well, what have we here?"

"Oh, for - " Jyuushiro fought back the flush he knew was rising in his cheeks. "I meant that her sword can work with sand."

"Whatever works for you", Nemu's captain returned, eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"How badly do you want your research budget cut?", Jyuushiro muttered.

"Go-ing", Kisuke sing-songed with a grin, flashing through the portal to give the orders to set up their projectile.

Jyuushiro turned to Nemu. "Ready?"

Chikyuu-Kosshi was in her hand and ready to strike. "Of course", she replied smoothly. "I know what I will face today. You needn't worry about me letting my guard down now, I assure you."

He smiled. "Good. Stay close to me."

"No argument here."

Turning on the spot, Jyuushiro called out, "I need you all to be ready to move when the explosion happens. It should be any second - "

"NOW!" , came Kisuke's voice through the garganta. There was an unearthly howl of wind a spiritual pressure that had all of them gasping for breath, and then a great crash, the light from the impact explosion temporarily blinding them. Then –

"CHARGE!"

They hurled themselves through the barrier, flashing across the sands, as Jyuushiro hung back, waiting for the garganta to close. But something wasn't quite right…

The wall was still up.

Jyuushiro swore, turning to Kisuke. "What the hell happened?"

"I genuinely don't know", the other captain replied, confusion and curiousity warring on his face. "Perhaps it is reinforced from behind. We'll have weakened it, certainly, but - "

"Shit, shit, shit!" Jyuushiro stared out at the terrain. Shinigami were already engaging with hollow and arrancar opponents. Shunsui had thrown himself and Nanao into battle with a figure that clearly had Espada level power, while Ichigo Kurosaki was demonstrating his usual tactic of more power than sense, and appeared to be battling two vasto lorde at once. Everywhere there was fighting, from the rank and file, to Grimmjow covering Soi Fon as she used her Bankai to continue hurling projectiles at the wall, the recoil sending her shooting backward. "We'll be routed if we retreat now, won't we? Fuck!"

_I've failed them all. Oh Kami…_

"Jyuushiro", Nemu's voice, unusually insistent, pulled him out of his horrified thoughts. "Jyuushiro, what is that wall made out of?"

"Ulquiorra said some kind of rock. It shouldn't have been able to stand against that blast – I don't know of anything that could other than seki-seki, and they shouldn't have that here. Kami, dammit, I - "

"Jyuushiro!" Fierce green eyes met his. "Focus. I need you to get me to that wall."

"What? You - " Suddenly, it dawned on him. "Chikyuu-Kosshi! Of course! What about from here?"

Nemu shook her head. "I tried that already. I can feel it, the wall that is. It has been considerably weakened. It really just needs that extra push, and I can give it that, but I'll be much more effective closer."

"Done", he replied quickly. "Kisuke, can you and your squad - "

"We'll help you get there", Kisuke replied, his usual eccentric nature suddenly grave and determined. He stepped forward to quickly hug Nemu. "Be careful. You're my favourite lieutenant, and I'd hate to have to train another."

"You always have been sentimental", Nemu pointed out dryly, as he released her. Abruptly Kisuke reverted back to his usual smiling self. "See? That right there – how could I possibly replace you?"

As she nodded and scanned the terrain, Kisuke leaned over to Jyuushiro and whispered, "If anything happens to her, I'm holding you personally responsible. That goes for off the battlefield too. And I feel it's only fair to warn you – I learnt some interesting things in the Maggot's Nest."

Jyuushiro blinked. "That… seems fair. I appreciate the warning."

Kisuke grinned. "That's the spirit! Let's roll!"

They raced across the sand, striking down enemies where they crossed their path, and attempting to win through to the wall. Zanpakuto flashed, swift and deadly, cero and kido flew across the landscape, incinerating what they touched, and still they came on, determined to get there. A wave of Menos and Gillian swept down to block them, only to be driven back by a cruel rain of lightning, their outraged screams echoing as they were torn to pieces. Jyuushiro, it seemed, was resolved not to hold back, and his blade ripped through the remainder without halt.

As Kisuke's sword decapitated yet another arrancar, he pulled out another of his strange globes, grinning as he lobbed it ahead of them, where there was a particularly thick knot of hollows heading their way. "Duck!", he called out cheerfully, as Jyuushiro swore and dragged Nemu behind him as the blast rocked them backwards.

"Warnings are supposed to give people enough time to react, dammit!" Jyuushiro was less than impressed. Kisuke shrugged. "We're all here, aren't we? Nemu, you've got a clear shot. We'll keep them off in the general area, if Jyuushiro will consent to watch your back right here."

He nodded his acceptance as Kisuke and his squad separated, forming a perimeter. Still, Jyuushiro kept his weapon ready – there was no telling what might get through. Meanwhile, Nemu was scanning the wall in front of her, her hands running over the surface, finding flaws that Jyuushiro couldn't even begin to see. Nodding to herself, she released her sword, planting it close to the wall.

"It is doable", she murmured, "though it may take a minute or two. Cover me?"

"You don't even need to ask", Jyuushiro replied, his gaze roving over the terrain, seeking any potential problems before they could come anywhere near the woman her loved. She stood there, her hair lifting slightly in the faint breeze, her face a picture of concentration. Without warning, the earth around them began to shudder.

"That's a good sign, right?" Jyuushiro called out, trying not to sound too concerned.

"The best", Nemu replied, her voice sounding a little strained. "Just keep watch – this is going to attract some attention."

"You don't say." The voice, just behind Jyuushiro, was low and deadly, cold malice ringing through every word. Jyuushiro didn't need to see the way Nemu stiffened and paled, her eyes wide, to guess who had approached them. He turned swiftly, lofting both of his weapons.

"Akon." It wasn't a question.

The ex-shinigami smiled, the expression void of any warmth and more than a little unsettling. The partial mask covering his forehead and horns gleamed in the moonlight, contrasting eerily with pitch-black hair and eyes. "You may stand aside. My business is with the failed experiment behind you."

Jyuushiro barely stopped himself from growling out his response, his grip on his zanpakuto tightening. "You'll get to her over my dead body and, if you call her that again, I will personally ensure that you die screaming."

He got a raised eyebrow and a smirk as his response. "Is that a promise, captain? If so, then this should be interesting. I look forward to seeing the expression on her face when I kill you."

"Jyuushiro", Nemu whispered.

"Concentrate on the wall", he replied quickly. "I'll handle this."

"We'll see about that", Akon chuckled, raising his weapon and disappearing in a burst of sonido.

Jyuushiro wasn't fooled. He'd fought Yoruichi before, if only in a friendly spar, but one thing it had taught him was how to deal with a swift opponent. He might not be able to match the Goddess of Flash for speed, but he could always see her coming. He slid to the left, bringing up both swords to crash into Akon's zanpakuto, as the Espada reappeared, striking out at Jyuushiro's torso. He screamed with rage at being countered so easily, only to kick out, narrowly missing taking out Jyuushiro's knee, and lurched back, sword still up and ready to strike.

Jyuushiro didn't leave him waiting. As lightning flared, forcing the Espada to leap away from where he was standing, Jyuushiro followed the blast instantly, swords flashing as they met Akon's blade. The three blades met, sparking on impact as Jyuushiro disentangled one weapon, backhanding Akon as he did so, leaving the arrancar to fly through the air, scrambling to his feet once he hit the ground.

From his resting place some feet away, Akon's eyes narrowed as Jyuushiro wheeled to face him. "Very well, Captain. If you refuse to go quietly…"

"Ensnare, Kyoufu-Shokkou!"

Abruptly, Akon's zanpakuto seemed to shimmer in the air, transforming into a thin, almost whip-like blade. Jyuushiro wasn't fooled by the weapon's pitiful appearance. Captain Soi Fon had given a most detailed description of the capabilities of this sword – any cero blast channelled through that blade would cause the muscles it touched to seize up and cease moving. Jyuushiro had no intention of being paralysed, and he threw himself to the side as Akon released a first web shaped attack, one that could have stopped his legs from taking that leap, had it made contact with his skin.

His response was a barrage of lightning, one that had Akon dodging hurriedly, unable to entirely hide the expression of panic crossing his face as he sensed the sheer power behind those blasts. He shot his webs at his opponent, but Jyuushiro easily avoided them, his concentration fixed on his opponent.

_He's hopelessly outclassed and he knows it_, Jyuushiro thought with smug satisfaction. _This shouldn't take too much longer. The reports were right – for the most part, the new Espada are certainly not on a par with the old._

His attack had driven Akon against the wall and, with a grim smile, Jyuushiro closed in, his swords at the ready. Akon hefted his blade, clearly ready to make one final attack –

But it wasn't at Jyuushiro that he aimed his blade. Jyuushiro was right – Akon had known he was outclassed. Instead, his blast was fired in the direction of the pale, dark-haired woman with her sword planted in the sand and her attention on the wall…

Jyuushiro didn't think. He hurled himself between Nemu and the paralysing cero, just as the wall finally began to crumble, knocking her out of range in the process.

He wasn't able to get himself out of range.

He felt the last tendrils of the attack sink into his skin, fixing in place his main sword arm and shoulder, his neck muscles and part of one leg. The worst, though, was the way his chest seized up, lungs fighting to take in enough air, paralysed at only a fraction of their capacity.

_NO! My body can't take that sort of strain, no matter how well I've been lately! I need to breathe! I need – _

_Nemu._

Almost as if in answer, his view was suddenly blocked by a protective wall of boulders, shifting into place to conceal him from any enemies. He knew she was trying to save him, but every fibre of his being rebelled.

_NO! Nemu! I need to see her!_

Nemu had felt the attack but, focussed on the necessity of bringing down the wall, she had dismissed it. Jyuushiro could protect her. Those webs might stop the body from moving, but they couldn't halt the flows of spiritual pressure that ran through her. She would be able to function enough to complete her task. She had counted on Jyuushiro to understand that and act accordingly. She had not, however, counted on him abandoning the fight to protect her.

Nemu stood there, fighting not to scream, fighting not to ignore the battle about to take place, in favour of rushing to Jyuushiro's side. She could hear him breathe rapidly, but it wasn't healthy, the way his breath caught and whined so loudly that she could hear it through her barrier, the way he seemed to be fighting for air.

Akon offered her a razor of a smile, as he moved to stand between her and Jyuushiro. "I have halted the movement of his lungs. Don't worry, they still have enough space to take in air – just not much of it. That shouldn't be a problem unless…" His demeanour took on a mockingly sympathetic air that sent chills running down her spine. "Oh, he has an existing medical condition, doesn't he? What a shame."

His grin widened as he added harshly, "Just how long do you think he'll last? He's never exactly been what you could call healthy, has he? My money's on - "

Nemu could hear nothing but her own heart pounding and Jyuushiro's strangled breaths as she launched herself at Akon, blade whipping through the air. She didn't recognise herself. This torrent of rage coursing through her veins wasn't her, and nor was the enraged scream that tore from her lips. She didn't plan, she didn't consider, she just struck. He countered her easily, his smirk growing until she shot kido at his feet, forcing him to leap back behind some of the rubble that had once been a wall. Nemu saw her opening and planted her sword in the ground, the bricks strewn across the sand hurling themselves after him at her bidding. With less than an inch to spare, she ripped Chikyuu-Kosshi from the ground and flashed aside to avoid his attack, throwing another kido spell at him in order to obscure her movements.

The distraction didn't last long, as cero whipped past her, almost grazing her leg as she leapt away once more, this time aiming herself at him, and bringing up her zanpakuto. He only just was able to stop the blow, scowling as he did it and holding back her blade her blade with his. For an instant they balanced there, sword to sword, before Nemu punched her father's acolyte in the face, disengaging her blade in the process. Once again, his attack only just missed her, but as she whirled in fury ready to face him while he laughed, she stopped herself, and flashed away, behind a larger pile of debris.

_What am I doing? I cannot let myself attack in a blind rage._

_But I cannot calm down. Jyuushiro. He attacked Jyuushiro. I want to rip him limb from limb, I want – _

_No, I must focus. If I cannot calm down, I must enrage him, too._

_And I know just how to do it._

Another explosion hurled her out of her hiding place, but she landed on her feet, springing to the side in time to avoid another cero web. Swiftly she raced across the sand, finding one of the few parts of the wall she had not utterly shattered and ducking behind it. Throwing kido out repeatedly to stop him approaching, she took a deep breath, ready to begin.

From the other side of the barrier, Akon chuckled. "Really? We're going to play hide and seek? This is the best you can do." It was a statement, not a question.

_Well, he's overconfident. That's a start._

The Espada continued, cold malice infusing every word he spoke. "You always a failure, weren't you? Little wonder, then, that Mayuri-sama couldn't stand the sight of you."

"I was never a failure." The words came, more clearly and confidently than she had thought they would, and without the hitch that came whenever her mind turned back to Jyuushiro that threatened to obscure her words.

_Please, just let this work._

_Hold on, Jyuushiro._

"I won't argue that my father didn't hate me – I know that all too well. But I was never a failure." Her voice became stronger, her eyes widening as several pieces of the puzzle fit into place. "He was an objective man in the end – part of his scientific mind. Even if he despised me, he still recognised my strength. He ranked me higher than you."

The voice that answered her was fighting back pure venom. "I would recommend, for your sake, that you stop there."

"He didn't hate me because I failed. He hated me because he made me too well." So much made sense – the way he had kept her from her weapon, the way he had been so determined to beat out any personality or independent thought from her, the way he had never quite trusted her, even though she had been unfailingly loyal. "He made it almost impossible for me to succeed as a lieutenant, and yet I did. Why would he do that to a loyal experiment? Surely he'd want me to operate at peak efficiency?"

"If you don't shut up now, I will ensure you do so permanently!" Blasts rocked around her, but the wall that had been so hard to tear down still held.

_It is working. He's losing control, and when he does…_

_He only needs to make one mistake._

"He was afraid", she called out, her eyes flashing as she remembered. "He was afraid of my strength and potential. He knew I might one day be his equal, but he needed me too much to dispose of me. So he tried to push me down so far that I could never rise."

_But I have. _

_I have._

_Come on, Jyuushiro. Just a little longer._

"Mayuri Kurotsuchi was a coward and a bully", Nemu threw out mockingly, "and you are just the same, Akon. Captain Soi Fon told me about her time with you, and - "

She had no opportunity to finish. She hadn't shot a kido spell at him for some moments, and that lapse was more than enough. With a feral roar, Akon launched himself around the edge of her hiding place, and she was only just able to throw herself out of range. The force of her jump away unsteadied her momentarily, but that was all it took for her to find herself facing down his cero web. Without thinking, Nemu planted Chikyuu-Kosshi in the ground and called rocks from the fallen wall to her, forming the four-walled shield she used when sparring.

_No! What am I thinking? Captain Soi Fon said these blasts could rip right through rock. I'll be paralysed, a sitting duck, and - _

The thud of the cero's impact almost knocked her off her feet. She steadied herself behind her barrier, only to stop, her eyes wide.

_Except I can still move._

_What – of course! When I work with the rock, it becomes infused with my reiatsu. That must be what's stopping his attack from working._

_But he doesn't know that._

Carefully, Nemu let a few pebbles fall away from her shield, allowing her to see her opponent.

Akon still looked furious, but rage now mingled with triumph. "Caught in your own trap. How delightful." He hefted his sword and let it return to its sealed form. "I don't think you deserve to be killed with my zanpakuto's true form. To do so would be to acknowledge you as an equal and, well…" He motioned to the rock in front of him. "There you are."

_Just come a little closer. That's all it will take, and then – _

_Don't think about him. He will be all right. Focus on this._

_Just another two steps._

"Still", Akon continued, stepping forward, "I do pride myself on being able to finish the work Mayuri-sama began and - "

He stopped short, as the apparently solid walls of rock surrounding Nemu began to cave in on themselves, forming solid armour that encased her whole body –

Up to and including the hand that now gripped his throat.

With her other hand on his sword arm, Nemu let the rock fall away from her face, her deep green eyes surveying her opponent, who stared at her in shock and fury. "I was ranked ahead of you for a reason, Akon." She spoke softly, but there was steel in her voice. "I warned you, and now you know. And you're lucky that I am merciful enough to make this quick."

Faster than he could see, she released his throat, pulled back her hand and punched. She let all of her reserves of reiatsu flow into her fist, determined to end this once and for all. The impact was jarring, rock falling away from her arm, but she strengthened her armour, and punched again.

This time, the blow went home.

Akon's skull crunched under her fist, damaged beyond even his repair skills, and the spiritual pressure of the blow left kido burns where she had struck. She felt that last flicker of his power attempt to heal and then disappear, sinking away as the body of the former Third Seat of her division hit the ground, a bloody mess in the place of a face.

Nemu staggered back, blind to the gore spattered across her face as she let her rock armour fall away. She felt nauseated, desperate and strangely free. She was, she realised as her eyes widened. The last truly tangible link between her and her father was gone. That chapter of her life was now over, and she was ready to start another, ideally with –

Forcing herself to keep moving, despite her exhaustion, Nemu made her way through the battlefield, determined to reach Jyuushiro.

He wasn't far. The mound of rocks that kept him protected fell away as she approached, revealing a man with eyes closed, all too pale and still, and Nemu found herself holding her breath out of fear.

_Please let him still be alive. Let him have held on, please, just – _

She heard the sounds of him fighting for air before she noticed the movement of his chest. With a strangled sob, she sat down next to him, brushing the hair back out of his face.

Jyuushiro's eyes opened and he attempted a smile, despite the blood on his lips. "You're - " He struggled for more air, before continuing, " – all right."

She was crying, which was odd, because Nemu was certain she hadn't been created to do that, either. Than again, she was more than she had been created to be – she knew that now.

"Of course I am", she whispered, trying to smile back. "I had an excellent sensei."

Behind her, she felt a familiar reiatsu, as Shunsui Kyouraku flashed behind her, his eyes wild. "I felt - " He stopped short, seeing his friend on the ground. "No. Oh, fuck no."

"Get Lieutenant Jeagerjacques, and quickly. We need the garganta to get him to the Fourth." Nanao's voice was clear, though shaky as she laid her hand on her husband's arm. "It's his best chance."

Watching his friends flash away, Jyuushiro fought to speak as he caught hold of Nemu's arm. "St – stay - "

"You do not need to keep asking me to stay", Nemu replied, her fingers curling around his, "my answer will not change."

"Just breathe, Jyuushiro."

"Please, breathe."

xXx

**Before y'all start hurling things at me, just remember, I like happy endings.**

**Or at least bittersweet ones. I just can't be a complete downer. **

**R and R, plzkthnx.**

**Cheers!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, canon would be a whole new world. On the other hand, don't you wish that Kubo was a freak like me?**

**Listening to: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – 'Love Letter' and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros – 'Home'.**

Chapter Sixteen

What finally woke Jyuushiro up was the sand.

It was all wrong.

Without even looking, he could tell this wasn't Hueco Mundo, which made no sense. While he hadn't expected to be left there, and he wouldn't have been at all shocked if he had awoken in a room at The Fourth instead, he couldn't think of anywhere else where he would be lying on a whole lot of sand.

The fact remained, however, that whatever patch of sand he was on, it clearly wasn't in Hueco Mundo. This sand felt alive, and warm as though the sun had shone on it…

He opened his eyes with a snap, before cringing and blinking at the sudden brightness.

_That clinches it – Hueco Mundo doesn't have a sun or a sky anymore and it never should have. But where the hell does that leave me? I'm not in The Fourth or back on the battlefield… Except I don't feel like I should be either of those places. _

Gingerly, Jyuushiro sat up, noting the ease with which he moved and breathed, and the loss of the bruises he had earned both on the field and the night before. His eyes widened as the realisation hit – he was in some sort of spiritual dimension. It was obvious once he thought about it – he wasn't in the Seireitei or Hueco Mundo, this didn't look like any of the terrain in the Rukongai, and if he'd been reborn in the living world, he wouldn't still look like his usual shinigami captain self.

_Well, it wouldn't be the first time I've been injured and ended up in a place like this. The only difference is, it's usually the inner world of my zanpakuto…_

_This is utterly unfamiliar to me._

Gone were the typical crashing waves and towering cliffs, and in their place were wide expanses of warm red-bronze sands that extended into the horizon, broken only by the monolithic boulder that provided him with the modicum of shade. It was alarming, to say the least. As harsh as the terrain was, Jyuushiro couldn't deny feeling as though he was welcomed here, but even with that sensation at his back, the thought that this was the world of his sword spirit, that his soul had undergone such a massive change, was more than just a little unnerving.

It also didn't make sense.

Shaking his head, Jyuushiro got to his feet, stretching out and revelling in the feel of muscles that definitely did not feel as though they had just emerged from battle. The sun was moving, shrinking his patch of shade smaller by the second, and this problem clearly required that he have somewhere to sit and think. Edging around the rock and keeping to its shadows, he reached the other side only to gasp in wonder. Before him was a lush, green oasis surrounding a clear shallow pool of water. Desert trees and shrubs crowded around the water source, blooming with fragrant flowers that Jyuushiro was fairly certain he'd never seen in his life, however long it had been. Carefully, he knelt by the water, dipping his hands into the cool liquid and splashing his face in the hopes of clearing his head and cooling down – the oasis was relatively cool, but it _was_ relative to a desert. With a sigh he shook off his hands and sat back against a tree, ready to begin puzzling out his situation.

_I'm almost two millennia old – my personality is fixed; barring, perhaps, massive trauma, my soul wouldn't undergo a transformation of this magnitude. I know that these sorts of environments can change with emotional turmoil or fulfilment, but not to this extent. The underlying framework is always the same – the details are what is altered. But this… this is completely different. It's like being in someone else's inner world._

_Wait… Someone else's?_

_Could that even happen? I wouldn't think it possible… _

"You'd be sssssurprissssed."

The voice was deep, echoing almost from the land itself, but it wasn't the surprise of the sudden statement that had Jyuushiro turning where he sat, only to squeak and fall backwards.

Coming face to face unexpectedly with an immense serpentine dragon will do that, even to a decorated shinigami captain.

Bronze coloured eyes, in a shade almost identical to the sands that surrounded them, were regarding him with a mixture of concern, annoyance and… yes, it was definitely amusement. He was amusing the dragon. Jyuushiro came to the realisation that this had been a very odd week for him, as weeks went, which was saying something.

He was, after all, friends with Shunsui.

The dragon snorted and shook its head, before adding, "I'm sssorry if I ssstartled you."

Feeling that some sort of face saving attempt was required, Jyuushiro straightened up and replied, "Not at all. The noise was, uh, wheezing. I have a respiratory problem."

With a small growl from the back of its throat, the dragon settled itself down beside him, looking slightly disgruntled. "Sssso I have heard."

Now he was just baffled. Jyuushiro blinked, running through his list of acquaintances likely to know a dragon. Other than Toushiro, who was the master of a very different species of one, it was not really a list, so much as an endeavour in head scratching. He gave up. "Heard? From who?"

The rumbling growl emanating from the beast deepened, and Jyuushiro was left wishing that he had a weapon in this world because his companion certainly sounded cranky. Eventually, the creature settled, and simply grumbled, "Those bratsss of yoursss."

"Brats of – you mean Sogyo?" Jyuushiro's eyes were wide. "You talked to Sogyo no Katawari?"

"Unfortunately." The dragon shot him a look that Jyuushiro swore was a glare. "It would not kill you to teach them sssome mannerssss. My missstresss may call me obnoxioussss, but at least I don't pull on tailssss."

Jyuushiro's confusion showed no signs of abating. "Your mistress has a tail?"

He'd never had a mythical creature roll its eyes at him before. Apparently, it was a day of firsts. With a huff, the dragon surveyed him for a long while, before deigning to reply.

"No, and that wasss not the point. To think sssshe calls you an intelligent conversssationalisssst."

With that, it was Jyuushiro's turn to become annoyed. "Look, you'll have to excuse me, but the last time I was properly awake I was almost dead. Now all I know is that I'm in a zanpakuto world that's not even my own, my body is Kami knows where, and I'm being insulted by a dragon. If you don't like my conversation, either bugger off, or tell me how to wake up properly so I can get the hell out of here."

There was a lengthy pause, before –

"I would love nothing more than for you to wake up properly, as you sssay."

Jyuushiro bit back a scathing reply about non-helpful cryptic dragons. There was something in the tone of voice, something that spoke to the concern in the creature's eyes that stopped him. Before he could query any further, the dragon continued.

"The oassssissss has bloomed sssslowly for a time, until a few days ago, when it became what you ssssee here."

"It's lovely", Jyuushiro offered, not quite sure how to respond.

The creature nudged him forward to the tree with its snout. "Look clossser."

He did. It took him a few seconds to realise what the dragon was talking about, but once he saw it, he paled, realising the significance of what was in front of him. Slowly, but surely, the leaves on the tree were rotting from within. Once he knew what he was looking for, he saw it everywhere – the oasis was dying.

He did not even want to consider the pain someone would have to feel for their inner world to be like this.

Jyuushiro wheeled around to face his companion. "What happened here?"

The dragon stared back at him sadly. "I think you may already know the ansssswer."

"Oh for - " His angry exclamation trailed off, as Jyuushiro stopped and considered the facts. "I'm not awake yet – there would have to be a reason for that. Am - " He stopped, his voice refusing to work as an idea occurred to him. Slowly, he whispered, "Am I dying?"

"It is a posssssibility", the dragon replied gravely. "My missstresss fears it is ssso, and now our world is disssintegrating around ussss. I ssssummoned you to our inner world, rather than your own, to make the ssssituation clear to you – more than your health is at sssstake. You need to gather your sssstrength and fight for our sssurvival, for both your own sssake and the sssake of my wielder."

Jyuushiro froze as the last piece of the puzzle slipped into place, and whispered, "Chikyuu-Kosshi?"

The dragon stilled for an instant, before craning its neck forward to stare directly at Jyuushiro. Its hot breath fanned the hair back from his face, and Jyuushiro couldn't help trying to recall anything he had ever read about the diet of dragons – the teeth that were currently inches from his face looked many things, and none of them were vegetarian. Slowly, the dragon nodded, drawing back.

"Perhapssss sssshe did not overessstimate your intelligence after all."

He could feel his heart beating so hard he was surprised it hadn't damaged a rib. It had been awful enough to witness this dying world when he hadn't known who it belonged to, and now that he did…

"What happens to Nemu if I die?" Every fibre of his being felt as though it were straining to hear this response, as though his whole existence depended on this answer. He felt sick with anticipation.

_Please let it be temporary. Please don't let this be a permanent affliction – I don't want even the tiniest part of her to die._

_Not over me._

The dragon huffed, its sigh almost blowing Jyuushiro off his feet, before it gazed at him solemnly once again. "We will live, in theory. Thisss world will become desert once more – no life, no sssshade. We sssurvived like thisss for mosssst of our life, when the massssked one held usss captive, but it wassss not living. At leassst we will not be parted again, but I fear that knowing what truly living can be like will make the return to thissss sssstate more painful."

"Mayuri Kurotsuchi has a lot to answer for", Jyuushiro murmured, trying to fight the rising tide of panic. "But surely it wouldn't stay that way forever."

He felt pinned by the gaze this statement met with. "We are not a changeable sssoul. That events have altered usss at all is nothing sssshort of miraculoussss."

"But if I fail - "

"Then don't." Chikyuu-Kosshi continued to watch Jyuushiro steadily, before adding, "You have sssaved our livessss on many occasions. Sssssurely you are able to ssssave your own as well?"

_So much is at stake here – it could all go so horribly wrong and I don't even know where to begin._

_But I can't fail her. _

_I can't lose her, either, not now that we've only just found each other. So, what do I do? How do you wake up from your inner world? You close your eyes and let it call you back. Chikyuu-Kosshi said I should gather my strength… The strength of any shinigami lies in their soul – and their soul slayer._

Casting out his senses, Jyuushiro could feel a faint pressure, one he knew too well to mistake.

_I can reach Sogyo from here. I think I may just have a plan. Our zanpakuto are the links between our physical world and our inner world. If anything can bridge this gap and guide me from one to the other, it's Sogyo. All I need to do is stay strong and focused enough to keep the transition going._

It was a long shot, but it was the only one he could take. Laying down in the withering grass, Jyuushiro closed his eyes and simply stated to his companion, "Keep an eye on things, and don't wake me unless the oasis catches fire. I have places to be."

_And zanpakuto spirits to call_.

The last thing Jyuushiro heard before he let unconsciousness take him was a snort, and someone muttering, "Definitely underessstimated your intelligence. I'm beginning to sssee why ssshe thinks ssso much of you."

xXx

"No way in hell!"

Retsu Unohana sighed. "Shunsui, I dislike the measure as much as you do." Motioning to the assembled ryoka, vizard, captains and lieutenants in the hall, she added, "We all feel the same way. But the fact remains that we can not continue to be leaderless at a time like this – we need an interim general."

Lifting red-rimmed eyes to meet hers, Shunsui simply shook his head. "I can't and won't step into Jyuu's place. I'm all wrong for the job, and we still don't know if it _is_ hopeless case. In any case, you'd be a better fit."

"No." The reply was unequivocal. "My place is with my squad."

"Well so is mine", he shot back.

"Leave this." The commanding tones of Byakuya Kuchiki left no room for disagreement. "We can function well enough as we are in the short time before we know whether or not we will require a new captain-commander. There is little point in us squabbling amongst ourselves until then."

"Yer takin' this coolly, Kuchiki", came the mutter from Kenpachi.

Grey eyes flashed, as the captain in question bit out, "Jyuushiro Ukitake is the man who acted as my mentor, the captain of my sister's squad and my own supreme commander. I refuse to let everything he worked for fall apart because I am unable to wait until it is necessary to grieve. He is not dead yet."

"I hate this", Nel cried out. "Can't we at least try to be civil and professional? It's bad enough that we may be losing another leader…"

"Amen to that", added Shinji from his perch on a table in the corner. Carefully he rose, stepping forward to stand among the captains, his eyes on one of his old compatriots in particular. "Retsu, just how bad is it?"

As everyone in the room held their breath collectively, the senior captain began to look shaken and drawn for the first time since the meeting had been called to order. Slowly, she replied, "Orihime and I… We've done all we can. His body is stable – at least, as stable as it ever is. We simply can't wake him. There's nothing more we can do; the rest is up to Jyuushiro himself."

"That settles it, then." Nanao's crisp tones rang out from where she stood next to her husband, her voice at odds with the exhaustion in her face. "Jyuushiro will not go down without a fight. I, for one, am not about to give up on him."

"Che, no point in hangin' around waitin' then", Grimmjow shrugged. "Question is, what the hell can we do in the meantime?" He raised an eyebrow and looked at his captain questioningly.

Soi Fon sighed, rubbing her temples. "We'll keep our squad on surveillance. They may try something in the manner of retaliation. We left no survivors, so I doubt they realise we're weakened, but we can hardly guarantee that _and _they still would have to have realised that their missing laboratory and Espada are our fault. Lieutenant Schiffer, have you anything else to report?"

The arrancar in question shook his head. "I have yet to make contact with any of them since this incident. From what I know already of their forces, I am aware that this is a severe blow to their plans, but not one severe enough to obliterate any attempts at revenge. They would have to be concerned, though. They have but two Espada left, and five vasto lorde at most, though they can still harass us with the rank and file."

"We remain very firmly on our guard, then", Yoruichi added from her position near the door. The former exile was clearly still not entirely comfortable in this hall, where she had once stood as a captain. Turning to face Soi Fon, she added, "I'll send my family's forces over to you if you think you'll need the numbers, Bee."

As the younger woman flashed her mentor and friend a grateful smile, Byakuya added, "I would also be willing to begin liasing with the Eleventh in order to begin work on the Rukongai project."

Beside him, Stark raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think you were interested."

"Captain Ukitake had a point, as much as I wish he did not", the noble replied cautiously. "Arming the Rukongai is starting to look more and more as though it is our best option and I do not intend to drag my heels about the business."

"And by liase, you mean - "

"Sending you off to talk to Lieutenant Kusajishi." A ghost of a smile appeared on Byakuya's face. "I have no doubt you will come up with something of a plan between the two of you."

Across the room, Yachiru smiled slightly. "Hangouts with Mopey-chan – just what the doctor ordered."

"Quite", Byakuya responded. "Indeed, given how often you spend time you are meant to be working in the office, conversing with one another outside of said office, very little will change, other than the fact that I will require progress reports every week."

"I'm not sure how to take that", the ex-Primera muttered to himself.

Toushiro Hitsugaya growled out, "This is ridiculous. We have to focus on what's needed here – an understanding of our position and what we've just faced. What I still don't understand is why Captain Ukitake still felt it was necessary to take to the field."

"We should just be glad he did", Kisuke pointed out. "If it hadn't been for him, we would never have broken through the wall and been victorious."

"You call this a victory?" Lisa's drawl was more than a little bitter.

"It will be if he survives." Ryuuken Ishida's quiet comment was unexpected and, to some, unwelcome.

"_When_ he survives", Rukia replied sharply, from her place at Kiyone's side. The lieutenant seemed a shell of her typically boisterous self, and simply clung to her sister Isane, who was starting to resemble a ghost, with her pale hair and tired face.

"That still doesn't answer the question", Captain Hitsugaya ground out, his bright eyes looking from one face to another. "Why was he out there?"

"Jyuu doesn't back down from a fight", Shunsui broke in. "He wouldn't just sit on the sidelines when something he thought was precious was in the firing line, whether it was an ideal or - "

"Something more tangible", Rose threw in, his eyes shrewd. "Or, dare I say it, _someone_."

As they let this sink in, one quiet voice cut through the silence.

"Where is Nemu?" Momo stood within Kira's embrace, a breach of protocol that no one had bothered to correct, her dark eyes concerned. "I've looked everywhere – her place, the Twelfth, the bar – but no one has seen her since she came back through the garganta with Captain Ukitake after the battle. I even asked at the Fourth, but they said she wasn't admitted as a patient."

Retsu sighed tiredly. "You asked the wrong question. Nemu arrived unhurt with Captain Ukitake. Despite our best efforts to convince her, however, she has simply refused to leave."

Silence reigned as they all took this in. Eventually, Kisuke shook his head. "There's not a great deal of point continuing this meeting. All the salient facts have been introduced – Captain Kurosaki will be out of commission for a week, Captain Ukitake for an indeterminate period of time, we have walked out of the battle having dealt our enemy a major blow, and that another one of our own has achieved Bankai. We know what we need to do now – try to hold ourselves together and keep ourselves fighting. There's little point talking it over any more, is there?"

With a nod of her head, Retsu replied, "I couldn't have put it better myself. We'll know where we stand better by tomorrow – whether or not he survives the night will determine the rest." With a wan smile that failed to hide the tears in her eyes, she waved a hand in dismissal. "Back to work we go."

Shunsui watched them as they filed out, until a delicate hand rested on his shoulder and a dark head leant against his arm. He sighed heavily. "Well, Nanao-chan, that went better than expected."

"Then I would have hated to see expected", she replied softly. "Are you all right? Well, relatively speaking."

Smiling sadly, he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. "With my lovely wife by my side, I'm a lot better. I just - "

Suddenly, he cut himself off, eyes wide. Nanao straightened up, her gaze concerned and fixed on him. "Shunsui, what - " Her own expression turned shocked as she watched a true smile creep across his face. "What is it?"

"I can probably sense it better", Shunsui murmured, his grin unabated. "I've known him longer, and the Fourth is quite a distance away But, in the meantime, let's just say that I don't think Jyuu's going to make us wait too much longer."

As the alarm faded from her face, Nanao's smile began to match that of her husband's. Turning to face the direction of the Fourth, she replied, "Is that so?"

xXx

Nemu hadn't slept in three days.

She had gone that long without sleep before – experiment-watching, punishment and, more recently, her nightmares, all came to mind as examples. This, however, was different.

She was living this nightmare.

She had carried Jyuushiro back to the bridge between worlds, only to refuse to relinquish her burden until she had arrived at the Fourth. It had been for the best – no one else could hope to move as quickly as she could, or shoulder the weight so easily. She had kept carefully out of the way in the back of the room as the healers had worked through the night, assisting where she could. In another life, perhaps, this could have been her squad – she could see details the others missed and not a single change in Jyuushiro's condition ever escaped her – but now all the help that Nemu could provide was of the most basic order, and she wanted to scream at how useless she felt.

Now she sat, curled up on the chair by his bedside, waiting for the slightest hint that Jyuushiro would wake, trying not to give into despair, and very rarely succeeding. That fact that he had yet to wake had baffled Retsu Unohana herself – his body had stabilised in the face of incredible odds, and yet that had been the extent of its fight. In the end, the consensus of the healers had been to leave him monitored and hope; they were out of ideas.

Nemu had stayed through it all, though the concerned shinigami of the Fourth had tried to get her to leave and sleep, or at least eat. None of that interested or appealed to her now. Instead, she watched as Jyuushiro, too still for sleep, lay on the bed, his breathing faint but mercifully even and without the hideous rasp that she had heard when he was last awake. Any triumph she might have felt about her victory was gone – if Jyuushiro died, it would not matter is she had succeeded, only that she had done so too late. All of her hopes, all of her plans, all of _her_ was caught up in the pale figure on the bed in front of her; Nemu couldn't have left even if she had wanted to.

Absentmindedly, she slipped her hand out of his, brushing his hair back from his face before letting her fingers trail down, stroking across Jyuushiro's cheekbones. Nemu smiled sadly to herself as she noted how the harsh light of the room made the freckles across the bridge of his nose stand out against his pale skin.

_Or perhaps it is not the light, but how bloodless his face looks._

_I cannot think about this. He will wake._

_He has to. I need him to…_

Tentatively, she stretched out protesting muscles, suppressing a grimace.

_Apparently even I cannot endure contorting myself in this chair night after night. There are some things I am just not strong enough to face._

As she watched the almost imperceptible rise and fall of his chest, Nemu fought back tears.

_This is one of them. I feel as though I am falling apart. I would give anything to bring him back – take his place if necessary, though I would like to at least see him awake again._

**Wallowing in ssself pity, I sssee.**

The voice of her zanpakuto spirit shocked her out of her reverie.

_What else would you have me do_, she thought back bitterly. _I am no healer, and even they have admitted that they can do no more here. All I can do is stay by his side._

There was a lengthy pause, before Chikyuu-Kosshi responded slowly.

**That isss not all. I have ssspoken to him.**

Nemu almost fell off her chair.

_What? How?_

**That does not matter. What isss important issss that he wantsss to make his way back to you. He is presssent in the inner world, but in thissss world he feelssss lossst. Call him back.**

_He cannot hear me, how would I – NO! That isn't safe!_ Nemu couldn't hide the horror from her voice. _Captain Unohana even warned me to keep my spirit regulated. He's weak now – the force of my reiatsu could make things worse. It was one thing when he was about to die and had a team of healers standing by to bring him back, but even then they were careful not to expose him to the brunt of their reiatsu. I'd kill him!_

**Then do nothing. **She could hear the scorn in the spirit's voice. **Just sit here and watch him weaken. Your eye for detail cannot have possibly missed that. It is happening and they are all powerless to stop it.**

Nemu fought back a sob. _It's not certain. He could recover – _

**You know how unlikely that is**.

It was an argument she could not refute. Carefully sliding her hand to fit with his once more, Nemu stood up on legs that felt too shaky to hold her.

_If he dies because of this –_

**You will feel the same if he dies and you have not tried this. It may be a last hope, but that doesn't make it any less of one in the end. **Chikyuu-Kosshi's tone had softened, but still brooked no argument. **And if he lives… Well, we will all be better off. You are more than capable of monitoring him and reining in your power if he looks to be suffering from the effects of reiatsu exposure.**

Tentatively, Nemu placed her hand on the hilt of her zanpakuto.

_I have no choice in this, really. Do I?_

She received no answer, and wasn't sure whether she found it a comfort or not. As she gathered her strength and began to let her reiatsu flare, she could only pray to some higher power.

_Please, let him live.  
_

_Just let Jyuushiro come home._

xXx

He felt warmer.

Jyuushiro wasn't sure why, but he could hope that it meant something more positive than Chikyuu-Kosshi simply leaving him unshaded in Nemu's desert world.

And then, out of the blue, he felt something else.

It was a spiritual pressure, one he'd come to know well, one that smelt of citrus and made him think of the inadequacies of Russian authors, of lustrous dark hair against his white pillow, of cautious half-smiles and deep green eyes.

_Nemu._

Almost instinctively, he reached out with his own power, letting it flare for a brief instant, only to pull it back when another sensation reached him – a dull and familiar ache in his chest.

_The reaction after an attack! I would only feel that in the real world – my illness doesn't trouble me here._

_I'm back._

He gasped in air, a reaction born in surprise, not desperation, only to feel Nemu's spiritual pressure disappear abruptly. Instead, he felt hands frantically checking his pulse and temperature, and a voice that sounded like Nemu's, only far more discomposed than he had ever heard her, murmuring, "Please Jyuushiro. Just stay with me, please - "

Blearily, he opened his eyes and croaked out, "Hey."

It wasn't his most brilliant vocal performance. His throat felt strained and dry, and he could barely get the sound out. Somehow, though, it didn't matter. Nemu was right there in front of him, her eyes wide an fearful, her hair a snarled mess, and her clothes still torn and stained from battle. But, as disbelief and terror faded from her face and were replaced with pure joy, he decided that she had never looked so beautiful.

He only saw this vision for a moment, however. Before he could take the time to appreciate it, all the air vanished from his lungs as surprisingly strong arms wrapped around him and a tearful face was buried in his chest.

"Ouch", he wheezed, as his hands came to rest in her hair. "I'm still a little tender."

Her laugh was half a sob. "I know, I'm sorry. I told myself to be gentle, but my limbs just didn't want to obey."

"Ssshhh." He kept his hands in her black tresses, stroking and soothing her as she shook. Even he couldn't keep the wonderment from his voice as he added, "It's all right."

"It's actually going to be all right."

xXx

It took five hours of careful examination, before a baffled Retsu conceded that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Jyuushiro or, rather, as Shunsui had put it as he strode gleefully into the room, nothing wrong with Jyuushiro that couldn't be fixed by a crack team of psychiatrists. In the end, she had simply shrugged, given her patient a tight hug and then asked him to remain overnight for celebration.

The parade of thrilled well-wishers through the room lasted until late into the night, when they were forcibly removed by Captain Unohana with the aid of one Captain Zaraki, which definitively put an end to proceedings.

One person, however, was allowed to stay.

Curled up on the hospital bed by Jyuushiro's side, Nemu was slowly drifting off to sleep at last until –

"It's selfish of me, you know. Keeping this up."

She looked up at Jyuushiro's face, which was currently resolutely studying the ceiling. "How so?" She queried.

"I'm not well", he replied, still refusing to meet her gaze," and my role as General will place you in the public eye a lot. Not everyone will be kind to you. If I want the best for you, it makes sense that I would let you go."

Nemu sighed, before shifting to lie even closer. "I suppose I should be grateful that you have waited this long to bring this up." Her lips curved into a smile. "Idealist."

His gaze snapped to her. "I'm right, though. You know that."

She shook her head. "I don't deny it, but you are forgetting something. Several somethings, in fact. We are in a position where we could all die at any moment – should we all postpone romance until everyone of us is safe? We are a military organisation, that will never happen. I would rather risk happiness." Her smile widened. "Having finally experienced it, I rather like it."

Jyuushiro went to speak, only to find a firm finger pressed against his lips. "You also forget", she continued, "I am no stranger to public disapproval. In my experience, however, it is by far easier to deal with when there is someone by my side. Make no mistake, Jyuushiro – I will leave only when you truly want me to. Now, if I hear this nonsense out of your mouth again, I will take a leaf out of Nanao's book and start doing you physical harm."

He gaped briefly, until – "You've gotten very good at expressing yourself."

"Thank you", she replied, in a voice reminiscent of a cat who had a 51% share in a cream factory.

Jyuushiro considered his position. "I'm not going to win this argument, am I?"

"No."

His lips twitched into a smile. "I can't pretend I'm not glad about that. Consider yourself forewarned, though."

She rolled over, resting her chin on his chest as she looked up at him. "That seems fair. In addition to this, consider yourself on notice to be selfish where we are concerned."

As he leaned in to kiss her, Jyuushiro simply replied, "Yes ma'am."

They drifted off to sleep, entwined in a manner that made it almost impossible to tell where one ended and the other began, ready to face what the world would throw at them the next day.

xXx

**My God, that took far too long. I blame the heat. You can't think in a Queensland summer, your brain just melts.**

**So, it's finally done! 'What now'. I hear you ask (at least, I like to think I do). Well, I have two AUs planned and, of course, the Stachiru (Yes, that's next – you're all very good guessers or I'm not a subtle hinter. Probably both.). Deep Breath will be continuing through that one as the war rages on. As for when I'll update, hopefully the weather will get cooler and my brain will kick into gear again.**

**Fingers crossed.**

**Anyway, R and R, y'all. Your responses have been wonderful and inspiring, and I hope you've enjoyed the crazy ride I've taken you on.**

**Cheers!**

**vicioux.**


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